European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - January 10, 1993, Darmstadt, Hesse On the go right into Linda Worthington after 18 years of living in Europe 1 have adapted to Many european ways but i have not Learned to Stop on the Side of the autobahn take tissue from us Cro a cheated cover in the rear of the car and use the Woodland facilities when necessity Becl cons. Since Otto children and i treated in Hosi tals in Germany for urological complaints Early on my husband Fred Learned to spot we signs Cany extra pfennings for service station facilities and ask the All important question docs anyone have to go to the bathroom before we leave Home the answer is almost always no but the first moan is heard after 20 minutes on the Road. Quot Why did no to you go before we left Home Quot Fred l asks. Quot i did no to have to go then Quot is the Pat reply. So Fred makes the first of Many pit stops no matter How Short the journey. During a Long ago visit to the Battlefield of ver opening laugh Davio. Mosman Australia Dun shortly after our daughter had kidney surgery while deep in the tunnels of fort Dumont dare tugged on Fredas hand and said a daddy 1 have to go to the . He asked me How to say bathroom entrench and i replied Quot Toilette Quot he left the tour and headed Back Jda the Entrance with ear Oldi when Fred caught tip with us 10 minute slate he was laughing so hard 1 was concur and. Quot what happened is dare of a. Quot you should have been there. When i asked the guard at the Gate where the Toilette was he shrugged his shoulders and pointed outside saying a non Simeur a natural a i took dare outside found sort of a private Bush and told her to go there. When she did i saw tears in her eyes which scared me silly and asked her what was wrong she said daddy i Don t like this bathroom the grass tickles Awe discovered there Are 99 ways to flush a euro Pean toilet and decided not to be buffaloes by the intricate engineering europeans use to hide the flusher. On one trip we spent 30 minutes waiting for an aunt who kept up the search when a less deter mined person would have Given up. I went to Check on her As this was a new facility on a new autobahn in Germany and found her still in a stall furious. Tvs punched and pulled every Bolt Knob checked the floor for hidden pedals looked to the ceiling for a Chain but there is no Way to flush this toilet Quot Ruth said. Quot i hate to give in to a stupid toilet Quot if they made it that hard to find forget it a i replied. Quot maybe the next person will discover the so. a a. A. A a / she looked crestfallen As she shrugged and started out the stall door. As it closed we heard the sound of the toilet Flushing. We still laugh Over that secret flusher years month ago i spent four Days in University Der Saarland urologic a Linimum in Homburg Germany. My doctor asked if i had to get up at night to use the bathroom and i said not often. He then asked How often i had to use the facility. My reply cracked him up when i see my front door or when i am grocery shopping. ,. The answer might have been funny to the urologist but when i visit the Heidelberg commissary and find the women a bathroom outside the commissary Entrance vandalized time after time it is not funny Tome. A a a i a a a a Heidelberg is the first place i have lived where people steal toilet seats with regularity and tear up the bathrooms to get their jollies. Heidelberg the army Community of excellence either has some in excellent types visiting who enjoy wrecking the worn ends bathrooms or there Are some a excellent types who live in the Community. 1 Hope the people who wreck bathrooms Are visitors who return Home to find a notice that their own bathrooms arc to be renovated and it will be an eight week project. And while i am hoping i will Hope that the next person who vandalized a Public bathroom in any american Community in Europe accidentally finds the flusher As he trips and Falls in the toilet proving that poetic Justice does exist. Linda Worthington lives in Hethel Beryl Germany Send in your column plus a photo of yourself to be our guest sunday Magazine the stars and stripes Apo 09211 or Postrach 11 14 37, d-6100 Darmstadt 11, Germany. Of. Do contents Marla Maples and Dixie Carter work themselves into a couple of entertaining exercise videos. Page 21. From the cover .4-8 vie ins and outs of 1993. Sidelights. 9 Andy Rooney on his Type of columns. Odds amp ends. 10 Erma bom Beckon americans own throne in tune. 11 60 minutes Quot like clockwork for lbs. This week s films. 12-13 Chuck Finch on Quot a leap of a a fes circuit listings. Television listings 14-17 local Cable and satellite schedules. Home entertainment 18 old movies entering the video Market voices. 21 Joe Bob Briggs in a sweat Over workout videos. Words amp wit. 24 Tony Konheiser pushes for letters books. 25 Stephen Kings a Dolores Claiborne dead on. On Parade 27 Julia Roberts and her steady Daniel Day Lewis. Last laugh 28 Dave Barry on Canada s big ideas. Sunday is a weekly supplement of the stars and stripes a editor Bucky Fox Art direction Wes Booher. Production Mon Trice Presley Denise Adams editorial assistance Louis d. Pierce Page 2 a sunday january 10, 1993
