European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - January 17, 1993, Darmstadt, Hesse Jel Gay act Joe Bob Briggs goes to the drive in hat if you can to decide whether to Boycott Colorado done to mean to whine but in be been trying to figure this thing out for weeks now. I can to even figure out what the hell it was they voted on. Here a what i think they voted on an amendment to the Constitution to make it illegal to pass Laws that give anti discrimination rights to homosexuals. In other words you have these statewide rights and then you have these local rights and so the statewide rights Are stronger than the local rights a except the statewide rights Are not rights at All but a statement that you can to give these rights. And you ask the people who were behind this How they could even come up with something this convoluted and you know what their answer is Quot because homosexuals already have these in other words they were doing the homosexuals a favor by getting rid of one of the rights they done to need anymore. So this makes me Wanna Boycott Colorado just on the basis of it being full of people who have Way too much time on their hands. But lets face it. Anybody who does no to live in Colorado is basically Gonna go to three or four places a Denver Boulder Colorado Springs Aspen or one of the pseudo Aspen ski towns that i can never remember the names of. In other words ill the places that sell Coyote paperweights and Teddy Bear buffaloes and pictures of squaws kneeling in the Sunset. So if you Boycott these places you re boycotting the Only places in Colorado that were opposed to the amendment. A a so in a boycotting Gunnison and grand Junction Only. Of course in be always boycotted Aspen. Speaking of people who need to clarify their intentions Jessica Hahn has taken up acting lately and everybody scoffed. Until Bikini summer 2. Every actress in Hollywood wanted to play the nymphomaniac Home shopping network addict who Rolls around her bed All Day dressed in victorians secret lingerie fantasizing about Jeff Conaway. But Only Jessica believed in herself enough to get that part and then deliver the performance of a lifetime. I have to say i had trouble following the plot of Bikini summer 2, because i did no to see Bikini summer 1. Seventy one breasts. High Heel Licking. Homeless Pool party. Garbage eating. Wet to shirt contest. Gratuitous Venice Boardwalk montage. Gratuitous bodybuilders. Two gratuitous showers. Mousetrap fun. Drive in Academy award nominations for Maureen Flaherty As the Numero Uno Bimbo daughter for saying a you need a Baths Quot and Hahn for doing 95 percent of her performance in bed. Two stars. Joe Bob says Check it out. Joe bobs advice to the hopeless Victory Over communism the Starlight six drive in on Moreland Avenue in Atlanta has been designated a historic landmark. But there s even better news. This drive in built in 1947, is doing record business under the management of Ron Bacon who has run various drive ins in California and Georgia for 32 years. Dave King of Atlanta reminds us that looks like the file Jessica Hahn in Bikini summer 2. With eternal vigilance the drive in will never die. Dear Joe Bob your column about culture vultures cracked me up. I even mailed some copies to my friends. In a dating a doctor and i have to attend a wide variety of these dreaded events. Joe Bob in a 33 years old and id rather attend an Alice Cooper concert than suffer through another George Winston or Kronos quartet concert. I was born and raised in Minneapolis and i loathe Garrison Keillor. His books arc a snort fast. Dave Melbourne ,. Houston dear Dave you like to drive Garrison Keillor to the South Bronx drop him off on a Street Comer and say a wok go ahead make us laugh dear Joe Bob in a sure your sudden Rise to Fame and big Bucks has caused you to feel obliged to attempt to write something meaningful and poignant just like Dave Barry or Lewis Grizzard but hey in a Here to Tell you that in a depth insight is definitely not hip. Stick to watching senselessly violent Low Bruin Gutter flicks and write that throw away prose that has made you the Man you Are today. We love a , and want you to become hopelessly accessible like most everyone else. Jim Meyer North Myrtle Beach . Dear Jimbo you said the magic words a Dave Barry a and a Lewis i la Reform immediately. Dear Joe Bob i am having a problem living in Al Puso. While we do have a drive in movie in town the owner will Only show the More popular first line movies i.e., no Joe Bob entertainment at All. I have been Reading your reviews for several years now and lust for car fun body parts fun gratuitous breasts and All the other wonders your movie reviews describe. Is there something wrong with me or our drive in owners. Myles Miller Tel paso Texas dear Myles american taste has declined to the Point where some drive ins were showing Thelma and Mise last summer of course you could say that Iva Good drive in movie expressing the theme a look what happens when you let a woman creators Syndicate Linda Ellerbee to discuss the a roaming of life with Joe Bob of to gut True junk in lha mail and Joo Bob s world Lamous we am fio Woidt newsletter Anta Joe Bob Briggs . Box 2002, Dallas. Texas 76221. Joe Bob s a line is always open 214 368-2310. A n Jan. 6, they swore in the new members of the 103rd Congress. Every time they Call it the a Congress of change a 1 think about the 94th Congress. It was january 1977.1 had just been named congressional correspondent for Abc news. The freshmen of the 94th had just been sworn in. We would be Brand new at this together. That Congress too was All about change with a new democratic president Jimmy Carter. The difference is those reformers the new members of the 94th Congress were mostly White men and their issues though Good ones were in the end limited by who they were. Cut to the 103rd. In the Senate six of 100 members arc women a record. One sen. Carol Moseley Braun a Democrat from la Linious is a Black woman another record sen. Ben night horse Campbell a Democrat from Colorado is an american Indian the Senate a first in More than 60 years. In the House 47, of the 435 members arc women a record. Seventeen arc hispanic another record and 38 arc Black still another record. / so maybe it still does t look exactly like the face of America but by Golly we re getting there. A a couple of weeks ago i was in Washington Foi party to Welcome this new Congress. It was held in the Cannon office building across the Street from the Capitol. There were Cor dogs curly Fries celery stuffed with Peanut butter and the Che Wiest goo pics brownies a kid food a which All grownups truly prefer no matter How Many grilled Boneless skinless Chicken breasts we claim to cat and Jove. There was a Booth where kids could sit Down in front of a video camera and say what they wanted to say to the president. There was a six foot Globe in which kids wrote their names and their thoughts about the planet they think saving it is a Good . There were Clever games for kids to play. By now in be been to Many Welcome to washing ton parties for Congress but this was the very first that was designed for families. What a notion. I watched a new congressman being interviewed by a television Crew. He said a Congress that claimed to care about families had its own problems. He for instance would be commuting from his District in Pennsylvania which meant that in order to attend o the business of the Republic he would t see his wife and Small daughter five Days out of seven. He said this was wrong. He said there ought to be a better Way. What he said changes nothing in itself but just hearing men say it is a Welcome change. We know because they told us that the hew women in the House of representatives have already agreed that passing the family leave Bill that allows workers to take unpaid time off if someone in their family is ill and fully funding j Lead Start arc priority pieces of business but the nicest thing about the 103rd Congress May be the fact that among its members Are Many men who also think families count including their own families. In Washington that s real change. Well it s a Start anyway. Now Jet s see Liat they do. King features Syndicate january 17, 1993 sunday a Page 21
