European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - February 19, 1993, Darmstadt, Hesse Page 16 b the stars and stripes Friday february 19,1993 autopsies Are not always necessary today a crossword dear Ann Landers All my life in be had a fear of doctors hospitals and shots. 1 Haven to been to a doctor in 25 years. I m afraid that when i die there May be an autopsy and i absolutely do not want this. I am not married but in be been living with a gentleman Friend Tor several years and Trust him completely. If i die a natural death and am Lucky enough that no one knows in a gone except my son and my the a a Ann Landers gentleman Friend would it be possible to avoid the Coroner i wish to have my remains cremated and the ashes spread around in my favorite places. I need to know if by following my wishes either my son or my fiend would get in trouble with the Law. If 1 put these instructions in my will would that make it Legal i have no valuables or life insurance so tit amp re would be no reason for the police to suspect foul play. Please help. Fearful in Las vegas dear fearful we spoke with Harvey Lapin a Chicago lawyer and nationally recognized authority on cemetery and funeral Law. Lapin said a the woman could probably be privately cremated but most states and some local jurisdictions require permits which must be obtained in Advance and May require the assistance of a licensed funeral director. She should know that Nevada Law demands an autopsy Only if the person or next of Kin requests it if the person Dies under suspicious circumstances or if her body is donated to Lapin suggested that you indicate in your will that you do not want an autopsy and make sure your Friend son and attorney each have a copy. He also made it dear that what you have in mind imposes a heavy Burden on others. Dear Ann Landers i just read the letter from a perplexed in the she had been divorced for three years and her a Mother in Law wanted the wedding gifts sent by her Side of the family returned to her son. Quot perplexed wrote the woman a scathing letter and asked you if she should Send it. A you told her that writing the letter was Good therapy and now she should toss it into the garbage. Ann i could have sworn that was my Story. The Quot wonderful Man i married went even further. He refused to let me have my wedding dress until i gave him All the things in the House that he wanted. I had paid for our Beautiful and expensive wedding and made the Down payment on our Home and All the furnishings. Quot Gary made just enough Money to cover the Bills he had run up before we married. When Gay left me i was devastated. His demands were outrageous. He and his new Quot love constantly threatened and harassed me. Like a perplexed a i too wrote a Nasty letter describing exactly How i Felt about him and his lies. It was wonderful therapy. V i then threw the letter away. Not permitting Gary the pleasure of getting me to sink to his level gave me an incredible boost of self esteem. Ann your reply to Quot perplexed was perfect. The better for it in Pittsburg Calif. Dear Pitts the temptation to strike Back when we have been wronged is often overwhelming but the one who wins big time resists that temptation and treats the person who has wronged him with civility if not kindness. That is harder to endure than any act of reprisal. Trust me. Letters to Ann lenders should be addressed to her at . Box 11562, Chicago. M. 60611-0562. C creators Syndicate trip to Small claims court can help dear Abby i am writing to you about the letter signed Quot practically broke in i also Lent some Money to a Friend and after that i find him. He never answered my letters and i could t get him on the Telephone. After three years i took my family a advice. Even though this Man had been a very Good Friend of mine i took him to Small claims court. I did no to think i had a Chance of getting my Money Back because like the Man who wrote to you i did no to have anything in writing. Dear Abby i was foolish i know but i really was naive and trusting because we were such Good friends. Well i got All my Money Back plus court costs plus interest on my Money so sometimes a verbal agreement is just As binding As a written one. I did t have a lawyer to represent me. I represented myself Abby i done to know what the Laws Are in Iowa but i would advise that iowan who got taken for a ride to look into it. If you use my letter please done to use my name. Lucked out in Illinois dear lucked out congratulations. You lucked out with a sympathetic judge. Letters for this column should to addressed to Doar Abby at . Box 447, mount Morris us. 61054. 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