European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - February 27, 1993, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Ten or 15 years ago this full Page and in the Wichita Kan Eagle May have seemed ludicrous Quot in defense of a Little virginity read the Banner headline Over a lengthy plea for abstinence among teen agers. Not surprisingly the and last october was paid for by the Kansas family research Institute a conservative think tank in America s heartland. But just two months later another plea for teaching kids abstinence appeared in the new York times. This time it was in the form of an article written by a contributing editor at rolling Stone Magazine. Under the headline Quot sex is for adults Quot Ellen Hopkins 35, wrote Quot i once thought i d Tell my Young son that anything goes a so Long As he used condoms. Now i m not so sure. Not Only do i want my son to live i Don t want him to miss out on longing a longing for what he in t yet ready to have. As the aids plague spreads across the american landscape there Are signs that More and More teen agers and adults Are choosing a new kind of chastity. That s not to say sex is on the Way out. But in an Era where a Magazine like going bonkers features a cover Story titled Quot the Joy of no sex Quot experts say abstinence or at least caution is no longer looked at As solely the province of priests nuns and spinsters. More than 500,000 people responded to a Booklet offered by the Kansas family research Institute in its newspaper and said executive director David Payne. Quot i think it s just pretty Good common sense Quot Payne Sav a. Quot i grew up in an Era of sexual revolution. But the reasonable person can evaluate the whole Gamut of health risks involved in a promiscuous lifestyle. It s just not Worth the  in the decade since aids has moved from a fringe Gay epidemic into a potential heterosexual plague the nation s sexual attitudes have slowly shifted in response. Family and sex therapists around the country report a growing number of men and women Are choosing to remain celibate in Between serious relationships rather than engage in recreational  we used to think the most intense sex was Between two strangers Quot says or. David Schnarch a new Orleans marriage and sex therapist. Quot remember when Erica Jong published fear of flying that was the epitome of 60s sex. Now people see Good sex As a function of personal development instead of technique. The Novelty of sex with a stranger wears off . Even virginity that relic from the Days when Lucy and Ricky and Laura and Rob slept in twin Beds on television is being dusted off. A program in health classes in the Atlanta Public schools a promoting abstinence among teen agers appears to be paying off despite All Odds. Popular upperclassmen counsel eighth graders telling them sex is Best left to grown . Quot what makes children realize the dangers of having sex is not just listening to the news Quot says Myrtice m. Taylor associate superintendent for instructional services in Atlanta. Quot human nature is thinking it won t happen to me. Students listen More to their Peers than  by the end of the eighth Grade girls who weren t in the program were at least 15 times More Likely to have begun having sex than those who were in the program Taylor says. David Dismore 46, a video archivist for feminist groups in los Angeles says Quot i m still a Virgin and it s still a wonderful thing to  sex he says Quot is Only special i when you share it in a Loving committed  j Dismore has been a member of the National chastity association a group which at one time claimed at least 400 members. A recent study culled from data gathered by the . Department of health and human services indicated that about 31 percent of unmarried women in a Survey of 8,450 women have made one or More changes in their sexual behaviour since hearing of aids. Sixteen percent of the unmarried women reported reducing their number of sexual partners to one 6 percent said they had stopped having Intercourse entirely 9 percent reduced their frequency of Intercourse and 12 percent stopped having Intercourse with men they did not know Well. A but there Are still a lot of sexually promiscuous people out there. The percentage of sexually Active teen age girls who have had just one sexual partner has dropped by More than a third since 1971, while the figure for those having four or More partners has doubled according to a new study released in december by the Alan Guttmacher Institute a nonprofit research group concerned with reproductive health. The centers for disease control and prevention in Atlanta reported in late january that people involved in one aids risk study Cut Down on one night stands and multiple sex partner after some celebrities announced they had the aids virus. The cd questioned 283 people at a clinic for sexually transmitted diseases in Montgomery county md., from july 29,1991, through feb. 14,1992. The Agency asked How often in the last three months each person had a one time sexual encounter or had three or More sexual partners. Family and sex therapists around the country report a growing number of men and women Are choosing to remain celibate in Between serious relationships rather than engage in recreational sex. On nov. 7,1991, magic Johnson who played professional basketball with the los Angeles lakers announced that he had his the virus that causes aids. That happened to be the midpoint of the study. Of the 185 people surveyed before Johnson s announcement 31 percent reported having one night stands in the previous three months and 32 percent reported three or More sexual partners the cd said. After the announcement 20 percent of the 97 people surveyed reported one night stands and 21 percent reported three or More partners the cd said experts say that people now have More choices about when if and How they have sex. Syndicated advice columnist Ann Landers reported in 1990 that a letter she printed from a couple in their late 50s who happily did without sex prompted 35,000 letters in response. More than 65 percent of the couples older than 60 who wrote and 75 percent of the couples Over 70, said they had Little or no sex and did t miss it. Experts said the fallout from aids has accompanied the aftershocks of the sexual revolution. Fifteen years after the Quot summer of love Quot talk about keeping your virginity longer or choosing periods of celibacy Are not just becoming More common. They re becoming More Cool. The cult Rock Singer Morrissey is almost As Well known for his brooding ballads As his decision to abstain from sex. In interviews Morrissey usually refers to sex As if it were As exciting As a Root canal. Celebrities such As Kirk. Cameron and Chelsea Noble both of to s crowing pains los Angeles dodger Pitcher Orel Hershiser professional basketball Star Kevin Johnson and Seattle sea Hawks wide receiver Steve Largent All participated in a video called sex lies and the truth urging kids to abstain from sex. Masturbation like condoms is enjoying such a revival that researchers at the masters amp Johnson Institute in St. Louis have Given it a new 90s name  some of the impetus for the new name came from the growing number of single people coming to masters amp Johnson who Are opting for celibacy says Bill Young director of the Institute. Quot some people get freaked out Over the big m word masturbation Quot Young says. Quot so we now Call it self stimulation for perception s  a much discussed recent episode of Abc s Seinfeld revolved entirely around masturbation. Though the word was never used on the air the plot involved a bet made among the four main characters about who could go the longest a not without having sex without masturbating. When Seinfeld and his pals checked in with each other they would ask one another if they had remained Quot master of your  doctors therapists and sociologists claim it s too easy to Point to aids As the Only reason people Are curtailing their sex lives or teen agers Are choosing abstinence. Many say that aids has Given people a Chance to rethink their choices in life. Some of the changes forced on society by aids a less promiscuity for example a Are beginning to be viewed As sensible even desirable. They also say that the Post feminist age has caused a sea change Between the sexes. Women for whom marrying Well was once considered a major career move no longer look at men As meal tickets. Quot Don t forget that old line about women being told to marry a doctor Quot Young says. Quot now they re being told to be a doctor and marry whoever the hell they want. People Are finally looking at what they want out of their lives instead of going into a relationship based on economic or emotional  being a Little picker May also mean going without for awhile. Quot there Are Many people choosing celibacy Quot says or. Schnarch the new Orleans therapist and author of constructing the sexual Crucible Quot when you re celibate it does t mean you re asexual. It Means you find out what you think of  keeping monogamous relationships exciting by Dana Kennedy the associated press anew Book by a Low key new Orleans sex therapist proclaims that the greatest sexual ecstasy comes not from a fling with a Cosmo cover girl but with your spouse or current partner. In his Book constructing the sexual Crucible . Norton or. David Schnarch coined the term Quot Wall socket sex Quot to explain the electrifying sexual connection that can be reached by two people in a close intimate relationship. Since aids monogamy has suddenly become More desirable. But just because people forgo extramarital affairs because of aids does t mean marriages will be More exciting Schnarch says. Many married couples stray not because they really want firmer flesh or a More handsome face Schnarch says. They stray because they re scared to reach their sexual potential within the overwhelming intimacy of marriage. They Are scared he says to be truly seen by another. Quot if you take a look at the Normal Way people have sex with their eyes closed it s living proof that sex is not intimate Quot Schnarch says. Quot most of us close our eyes focus on orgasm and Tunc our partner  closing your eyes in order not to see or be seen stems from the strange Paradox of being afraid to show your Quot wild Quot site to someone who Means so much to you your spouse he says. Quot the real problem is that people male or female can t Crank Loose their eroticism with the person they marry period Quot Schnarch writes. Quot intensely intimate marital sex takes Effort. Effort in intense sex does t feel like work in mediocre sex it does. Intense sex and profound intimacy take More Effort than people want to invest it takes a lot of work to grow enough to tolerate intense intimacy and  Schnarch s 584-Page Book a mix of dense clinical prose and Case studies is unlike much pop psychology that promises Quick fixes to marital and sexual problems. Quot people have Boring monotonous sex because intense sex and intimacy and change itself Are More threatening than Many people realize Quot Schnarch says. Work past those fears says Schnarch and you la experience Quot Wall socket  couples must withstand the fires of the Quot sexual Crucible Quot first. Schnarch compares a sexual Crucible to a severe test or hard trial. Schnarch says if couples withstand the heat within the Crucible and the discomfort that comes from breaking barriers of intimacy together a voila. Wall socket sex. Quot Wall socket sex is when you not Only have sex with your eyes open but when your partner looks in your eyes they know who you Are Quot says Schnarch. Quot it s a Jolt most people believe love is Blind. But opening your eyes during sex is what makes sex