European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - July 25, 1993, Darmstadt, Hesse                                At least Clinton knew where to Send Gennifer Flowers Dave Barry the time has come for unbiased observer such As myself to make a fair and objective assessment of the first roughly 187 Days of the failed Clinton administration. I would say it did pretty Well until the inauguration. There had been great excitement As the Man from Hope via Oxford and of course Yale Law school came to Washington bringing with him a new vision for America and numerous 18 Point programs and a cat. He also brought a close knit Battle hardened staff of smart Tough fiercely dedicated Loyal savvy Gung to Junior High school students who immediately set about the task of transforming the Federal government from a bloated Moncy Cmor raging bureaucracy into a bloated Motu a Cmor raging bureaucracy in which they had reserved parking spaces. They worked Long hours burning the Midnight Oil night after night seven jays a week week after week until finally possibly As a result of inhaling Oil fumes  displaying the shrewd political savvy of floor Wax. The unfortunate result was a series of administration blunders culminating in the now famous Deba Cle wherein the president got a $200 haircut on an Airport runway. Other presidents had done the same kind of thing but at least they had the common sense to be inside of an actual air plane at the time Clinton also had problems with major nominations As was evidenced by his decision blamed on Sloppy staff work to give the . Ambassador ship to Gennifer Flowers but at cast that time he made a decision. Most of the time he appeared to be highly indecisive especially when he was trying to pick a supreme court nominee. At one Point his staff leaked the names of roughly 350 simultaneous front runners including Raymond Burr. You had All these people convinced that they were going to get the Job which made for a pretty awkward scene when the president finally made the announcement. President Clinton and so i am very pleased to announce the nomination of the person i truly feel is Best qualified for this critical position and that person is. Flip tails it s what s her name the Little Short lady with three names Bruce Babbitt lunging out of the  let me Sec that Coin you can t do this you son of a boo off he is felled by Hillary Rodham Clinton who fortunately happens to be armed with her top secret 5,364 Page 71-Pound plan to simplify the u. Health care system. To make matters worse the president Clinton was not getting along with the White House press corps As could be detected by the outwardly respectful yet subtly negative tone of the questions he was asked. Or. President sir with All due respect sir Are you a big Hincy had or a at the press corps tends to be testy and you would understand Why if you saw the White House press facility. It s nothing like the Green room or East room it s More like the dumpster room. It s cramped and grungy and there arc reporters in there who have been sitting around since the Lincoln administration surviving on vending machine food that looks like the result of unsuccessful attempts to clone plywood. So the reporters were already in a Cranky mood when this new president came swooping in and. Started yammering Day arid night about his economic package. The press corps had grown accustomed to George Bush who did not take his packages seriously and Ronald Reagan who believed deeply in his packages but could not remember what they were. So whenever president Clinton tried to talk about the Economy the press corps to be ornery asked questions about something else. If the Clinton strategists had been smart they d have used reverse psychology to trick the press corps into asking the right kinds of questions president Clinton i d like to Start by announcing that last night i lost $3.7 billion and a naval base playing Golf with Michael Jordan. Naked. I la take your questions now. Press corps member suspiciously what about your economic package Canadian correspondent following up he anyway the Bottom line is that it has not been a great first 187 Days. But it s getting better. The White House has a new direction and purpose which is being provided by David Gergen the same Man who provided direction and purpose for the Reagan White House he s also available for wed dings and bar Mitzvah. Gergen has turned the administration around via the shrewd tactic of having president Linton meet with reporters Only while standing front of a very loud helicopter while Nancv Reagan who has graciously come out of re Tirum font plucks at his sleeve. So once again the country appears headed in the right direction. There s even talk that some time this fall if conditions Are right we re going to invade Grenada. And Here s another piece of Good news for some unknown reason we re suddenly very popular in the . The Miami Herald  military life in Europe r 7 the sva Taw. \ Ftp to i by Charles Kaufman each vap everyonemicita9.y $�t5 a Page 28 sunday july 25, 1993