European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - December 5, 1993, Darmstadt, Hesse Joe Bob Briggs goes to the drive in id you see where the government announced they re Gonna Stop counting the Farmers first of All i did no to realize they were counting Farmers in the first place. But they were. They be been counting Mem for Over a Hundred years so that if somebody Calls up Washington and says a How Many Farmers Are there in America a some bureaucrat in the department of agriculture can say in a glad you asked me but they just announced they re not Gonna do it anymore a because there Aren t enough Farmers to bother counting pm. They had this statistic called a americans living on farms a and in 1920 it was 35 million people which was one out of every three americans. Then in 1991 it was Only 4.6 million which is 2 percent of the population. And then this year they just Flat gave up driving Down All those farm to Market roads looking for names on the mailboxes. This is very interesting to me because what 1 want to know is if nobody a living on the farm who a growing the Golding food this sounds like the makings of a Stephen King novel to me. We have More and More food but we have fewer and fewer Farmers. It seems impossible does no to it it sounds like they re slipping us something that shot food does no to it you know How All horror movies take place out in the Woods and almost All horror movies involve some kind of unpleasant encounter with a Farmer now we know Why they re unpleasant. They re not farming they re still living out there in that rickety House but they re doing something else. A to find out what s going on i called my Friend Lee Otis Goslin who sixth year Grad student at the finest agricultural school in America Texas a amp a 1 said a Lee Otis where did All the Farmers go Quot and he said a what do you mean Quot and i said a what arc you studying Down there they say there Arentt any More Farmers. They say nobody lives on farms anymore so the government Isnit even Gonna bother to count Mem anymore. So what i Wanna know is what Are All you agricultural experts doing Down there Quot and Lee Otis said a marketing Quot a then who a growing the of cd where do you get the food a. A we done to do that a you done to grow food anymore Quot a then who grows the food Quot a hispanics Quot _ a hispanics grow the food a that a a and then what happens a thank you Lee Otis you be been a great a no problem.�?�, the world is getting Way too complicated for me. Speaking of modern trends they re advertising the new flick strike a pose As roller coaster ride of incredible sex and Beauty set amid the Glamour and sensuality of the underground lesbian fashion i mean who could resist that and then you watch the whole movie and it has nothing to do with the underground lesbian fashion scene. Heck i did no to even know there was an underground lesbian fashion scene but its a sign of How influential lesbos have become that you can just mention the lesbian fashion scene on a video Box As a Way to get people to watch the flick. Anyhow what this is is about five scenes of lingerie and swimsuit models stripping their clothes off at photo shoots about five More scenes of various double humped weasel gobbling if you know what i mean and i think you Doand 15 minutes of plot about a cop who thinks he a being stalked by the convenience store robber he sent to prison. Its refreshing to find a Good old fashioned exploitation picture that makes no Bones about it. Robert Eastwick is the cop who flits around it Lay having a Nam Type flashbacks to the Day of the convenience store robbery when he killed three people. Michelle Lamothe is the swimsuit photographer who loves him. Margie Peterson is the cop who also loves him but she a dating the Deputy . Who hates him. And basically what we be got Here to a whole Heck of a Tot of Nek kid ladies doing absolutely nothing. I highly recommend it. Five dead bodies. Fifty six breasts. Mojave desert aardvark ing with multiple blonde hair tossing. Mul Tiplic indoor aardvark ing. Lesbo aardvark ing. Bimbo fun. Drive in Academy award nominations for la. Mothe As the understanding Girlfriend who screams you re not a killer Quot and Peterson As the smart mouthed cop who says Quot some Guys know the difference Between foreplay and four minutes a. Three stars. Joe Bob says Check it Bob s advice to the hopeless Victory Over nature the Sunset drive in on Highway 74 West outside of Shelby n.c., had a great year even though it was totally destroyed in Hurricane Hugo Back in 1989 and had to be rebuilt. Big Jim Black of Grover reminds us that with eternal vigilance the drive in will never die. Dear Joe Bob i done to know if this is a hopeless situation but when i receive one of your newsletters my wife gives me a disgusting look. When i asked her to pick up Hollywood scream Queen hot tub party at the video store she threatened divorce. What gives George Gould. La Marque Texas dear George she obviously needs a Little Whirlpool time herself. Dear Joe Bob in a not really surprised that some people took Issue with the aids article a since some people can take Issue with an article on Apple i done to have an insight on when we get to leave this place a do contend that where we Are going will be great. The Rev. David Goodell Pekin Iii. Dear Rev. Dave Ohall right i guess i can wait. Creator Syndicate to discuss the meaning of Lite with Joe Bob of to get free junk in the mail and his world famous news Etle the Joe Bob report write Joe Bob Briggs. . Box 2002. Dallas. Texas 75221. Joe bobs fax Tine is always open 214 363-2310. A this is pretty much the whole plot of strike a pose women and alcohol Linda Ellerbee hey the Holiday season is Here time for us girls to speak of cooking and eating and drinking lets Start with drinking. The number of women who drink has doubted since world War ii. So has the number of women alcoholics. Its estimated that one half of All alcoholics in America arc women and yet Only 20 percent of the people in rehab arc women. For women alcohol is still a hidden disease something about which we re supposed to be deeply ashamed which May be Why More of us die from it. Did you know that the Overall death rates for women Are 50 to 100 percent higher than those of male alcoholics problems Start with How the rest of the world regards women with alcoholism. In so Many movies and Tel Vison shows men have been allowed to be seen As funny attractive even seductive drunks or. At least people who deserve to be taken care of whereas women have usually been portrayed As Sloppy drunks the kind of promiscuous Broad who will throw herself at some Man or at least throw up in his car. Often a woman who is drunk is seen As inviting a pass or even rape As in the accused. As in real Are other differences we know now that women feel the effects longer on less alcohol. We know they arrive at a Complete state of dependence on alcohol three to four times faster than men. We know they develop liver diseases quicker. We know that in the workplace women arc less Likely to find their Way to employee assistance programs. They re afraid be fired or at least lose at Chance of advancement. Also women Are often Over skilled at the jobs they hold therefore it May be possible for them to maintain their performance while hiding their addiction. Frequently the woman alcoholic is responsible for children. Frequently she lacks family support As Well. In the end women alcoholics stay hidden because the world has told them that being women alcoholics is not of. If they stay hidden Long enough they die. That a Why for women recovery Means much More than no drinking. Recovery Means experiencing yourself As a whole healthy functioning woman. Recovery Means feeling Good about being a woman. Now for the Good news compared with men women alcoholics Are More Likely to succeed at achieving and maintaining sobriety. Not every woman gets sober in a treatment facility. Women have been part of alcoholics Anonymous since its beginning in the �?T30s, but in the Early years according to the research of or Stephanie Covington they were relegated to making Coffee cookies and curtains for the clubhouse. Covington says they were acknowledged As wives mothers and Siscro of alcoholics but rarely As alcoholics themselves both As drinkers and As recovering alcoholics but . And the 12step program whether you get it in a treatment Center or by one meeting at a time has the Best Success rate of All. Finally we know that getting sober leaves women with Hope with a View of life made better one Day at a time. And so it goes. King Faturos synd Caio decembers 1993 sunday a Page 21
