European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - May 8, 1994, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Changed into my uniform ,. Then drop her off with the  a during her Quot free time a Martins self imposed policy is if she can to take Emily with her she does no to go. A i used to go but to country and Western night at the club. Now i Don t go and i done to miss  even though she knows Emily is in Good hands she still worries about her. A a in a wondering if she is All right am i going to get a Call that something has happened. Quot i just want to be Home with her All  being a single Mother in a one income Home can Strain anyone a budget but Martin gets help from the Community. The child development Center provides 10 free hours a month of care for children of single moms. She also uses the army Community services Eaton. Program which provides workshops that give new mothers tips on things such As teething and childbearing. She also gets a half months Supply of formula through the program. Emily does no to see much of her father but when either Martin or he takes leave they spend time to gather. Quot he was with me when she was born a Martin said. Quot he Yas very supportive during the birth. Quot when we take leave we get together. He a going to be staying with my parents while in a Home on leave this summer a said Martin who has been in the army for three years. A then we re going to his parents for awhile and Well probably go Back to a Bragg for a few  Martin is looking Forward to future mothers Days. A i think about All the things i can look Forward to and i mean that seriously a she said. A i look Forward to her growing up. When she gets older Shell be bringing a pm All the mothers Hay things she a made me in  a at times though Martin still finds it hard to be Sieve she a a mom. A a ,. A a a in a thousand years i never would be guessed what being a mom is like a she said. A you get All Mushy and you get All gooey feeling whenever you think of babies and stuff but its not like having your  a a. A a a a the childless Bonnie Bartel latino Ernie grew up in the Hills of Virginia As the oldest of seven children. He got up at 5 every morning. He regularly milked the cows and dug into other farm chores be a. Fore school. Learning to work hard As an adolescent helped develop Good discipline in this Man who grew up to be the military professional he is today. After High school Bernic not his real name attended a prestigious military Institute with Peers who perhaps had enjoyed an easier youth than he had. Others possessed polished social skills that made College life easier than it was for him this made his freshman year daunting. Except for one thing. The Cadet from Virginia a heartland had a secret weapon. His mom. She wrote him every single Day of his first year away at College. Every Day. She sent simple words and phrases that helped build the self Assurance Bernie needed to graduate from one of americans most demanding universities some Days she wrote a amps Avo Casey Pam Martin sees an Emily who will a be bringing Home All Lac mothers Day things she a made me in  Only one or two sentences but she always wrote words of motivation and encouragement that made him believe in himself As a person As a Man. All who have known a wondrous Mother child relationship As Bernie certainly has Are fortunate. Especially on this Day everyone who is blessed to have experienced a traditional maternal relationship holds it close to heart. Bernies mom was part of what May have been the last generation of Harriet no sort moms. Apr Niez smother is from the Era of women who found True i in aeration by fulfilling traditional female roles. This devoted Virginia farm mama did not buy her son Brand name clothes when he was a teen Ager. She did not buy a car As his High school graduation present. She refused any attempt to buy his love. With words of devoted encouragement she made a hefty Down payment on her songs future. She could not have known she was nurturing a son who would grow up to command one of the toughest mobility contingency squadrons in today a air Force in Europe. Perhaps the Mother child Union will be even More treasured if one realizes that for Many women mothers Day is the crudest Day of the year. Bernies wife Willie is a Good example of that sentiment. Willies dad raised her and her three Sisters after their Mother abandoned them Early in their Little lives. Because there was not a lot of Money in their Home the Church was always a powerful influence in their lives. On holidays their Church often provided the Only gifts and food treats the family received. Mothers Day was the one sunday Willie dreaded. Her Church As do Many american churches gave red carnations to members of the congregation whose mothers were living. If ones mom was dead one received a White Blossom. As a child which color Flower she should Wear confused Willie. As she grew older she wore White because the Only Way she could Deal with the Lack of a Mother in her life was to make believe her mama was dead. Willie is now in her Early 40s and says Quot As you get older the Hole of the loss of a mothers love gets  my Friend has discovered As have i this is the time in a woman a life when your mama should be your Best Friend so the loss becomes even More poignant As you grow older. Willies Mother became dead to her children by Choice and my mama died by the Grace of god. Willie und i will both Wear White Flowers today. For years every time my husband and 1 made a permanent change of station i packed up my dolls. And favorite Teddy Bear and dreams of someday having my own baby girl. She would then be the keeper of Niy miniature treasures until she passed them on to her child who would be my grandchild. On about our uth move it dawned on me that i would never be Able to have a child of my own with whom to share my childhood jewels. My heart had never. Found a Way to Grant admittance to this dreadful reality that my mint had known for years. For one last Lime i packed away my dolls and my favorite Bear and. My dreams. / As Willie did i began to dread mothers Day where you walk into the club or a civilian restaurant a for Lutich and free Champagne and a Rose is offered then without thinking the waiter laughs and says Quot you Are a Mother Arentt you a i also remember How i Felt that first handful of years after my husband and i were advised i could never Bear a child. When the pastor or priest asks All mothers to stand to be honoured in Church today How Many no mothers will sit with self consciously embarrassing feelings of defeat us i did those first years will those women feel they have somehow failed themselves perhaps failed Adius band even perhaps failed their god thus today it would be exceptional for All clergy greeting card companies and florists to simply celebrate the Joy of womanhood Bonnie bar Fol Larno is a family member living near , Germany. A. A a / May 8, 1934 sunday Page 1