European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - May 29, 1994, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Odds amp ends miss manners Judith Martin dear miss manners i wonder if you might agree with me in thinking that the High school prom As we have known it is a cruel institution. I think ail students no matter How physically unattractive or unpopular should be Able to attend Date or no Date. Gentle Reader miss manners starts from the idea that All society is potentially cruel As it depends on personal and therefore capricious tastes that society involving possibilities of courtship is doubly so and society involving adolescents is unspeakably so that is hot to say that she is unsympathetic to its victims especially Youthful ones and agreeable to modifying forms that offer gratuitous harshness. Let is just remember that the difficulties of varying pop Clarily cannot be mandated out of existence by ten Durh carted adults. That said miss manners suggests that a number of parents acting together could ask the school Tore place the prom with a party for the whole class in Celebration of graduation. However they must realize that there will be opposition from popular traditionalists that Many students will nevertheless appear in pairs and that it will still be painfully obvious who is popular and who is left a Wallflower. The Comfort they can offer their children is the demonstration that they not Only managed to outlive their adolescent social tragedies but How take pleas Urc in making excellent and funny stories out of their. Difficulties. Dear Mesa manners i am a 74-year-old widow seeing a 79-Ycar-old Man. We Are fond of each other and see each other every two weeks or so but Haven other plans. When 1 have a dinner parly for eight or 10, should i  at the head of the table i prefer not to As this would give our guests the wrong message. May i put a guest of Honor at the Hadj or a dear Friend gentle Reader certainly you May. But miss manners can to help Lamming that if you can to give people the wrong impression How you might never be Able to. Dear miss manners when miss Jones marries or Smith and they wish to Hyphenate their Chil Drin a a last name which is Correct Smith Jones or Jones Smith. Gentle Reader one of these Days miss manners is going to Call an end to this free for All in a Uve amp of the 300 Twat be been &o\w5 at fiddy London England which people can rearrange their names As they choose. In principle its wonderful but in. Practical terms it just causes Loo much trouble. But right now miss Jones and or. Smith might As Well take advantage of the Opportunity and Call their children what they like. If they done to want to argue it on a his hers basis which has never been known to add to the Harmony of a marriage they could decide whether they want the children to be called on in class earlier or later. Dear miss manners where do you place your Mouth and lips in relation to a soup spoon do you sip from the Side or the tip of the  Friend and i have a difference of opinion i say you sip soup front her Side but if it s a thick Type of. Soup with lots of items in it such As pieces of vegetable you place the tip of the spoon in your Mouth so you can consume the liquid and whatever else at the same time. A. Gentle Reader yours would be an excellent solution if the transportation of food to Mouth were  , to be figured out on. A practical basis. But if that were the Case miss manners would als have to listen to More Radical engineers who might Point out that picking things out of  with the fingers would be even More practical provider that the soup Isnit scalding. In All societies table manners Are ritualistic As Well As utilitarian which Means that they do not always embody the most efficient Way of getting food to the Mouth. Miss manners trusts you would not travel around the world offending people of other cultures by ignoring their eat i no custom dear mass manners my daughter has been living with a Man for some four years and there is to it prognosis for marriage now or in the future they Are both Well educated 3nd work but claim they can not afford to get married. Whenever we give my daughter a gift for a a their Home do we have to include him on the gift card i do not wish to Hurt my daughter but done to fee he. Should necessarily share in our gift of a Waffle Iron mixer Coffee maker Etc. Gentle Reader eve Mif your daughter were. Married you could still give her alone whatever pc sents you wish for her birthday Christmas or just because you feel like it. Other than for joint occasions such As anniversaries miss manners assumes. Your presents arc not intended to celebrate each y c a of he r. To v i h g j n Wuh the Gem i e a h in q us Bon individual presents May  without insulting others in the household. As they do not seem to be entering into a Norma a Tell commitment the time May come when your daughter is glad to be Abie to identify household goods As being hers alone. A. United feature Syndicate a. Feo Hng in Correct address your etiquette question a in Black or blvd Black Ink on White writing paper to tvs is manners . Box 91428, Cleveland Ohio 4410t-342b. The Quill shortage prevents Mia manners from answer Long qua salons except through this column. Once in soaps and fun s out Erma Bombeck very Mayas the school year is coming to a close two Points of View surface in. Every Home across America that harbours teen agers. The teen age approach to summer is a i have worked hard All year Pine grueling months of diagramming sentences and sleeping on a hard chair in the Library. Now it is time for my three month  a the Parent approach Isa you be been on vacation. Since you were born. Now it is time to get a Job and see what the real world is like a the teen agers perception of the a real world is getting up at the crack of noon eating Cereal in a Bathrobe while watching the soaps borrowing his mothers car to tool around until 6 when dinner is served and splitting afterwards to enjoy the night life. The adults know better. These Are some of the things a teen Ager should know before entering the Job Market ,. A you will not break into a High entry Job right away that utilizes Ybur skills sucking up olives off a pizza through a Straw and playing the tonight show theme on a touch phone. A done to get your suit cleaned. You Are at the funny hit time of your career when you will be asked to dress As a pirate and serve lunch or stand in the Middle of the Street in a Clown outfit and guide people into a car Wash. A your grandmother can die Only three times before an employer tells you you re finished. A most teen agers get mini mum wage jobs. This translates to working an entire summer to pay a single Premium on your car insurance a most of the time jobs at fast food emporiums do not come with a car. Quot we always gave our kids an option go to work in the summer or up to school the first year they opted to do Road work Telephone solicitation and door to door Selling. The next Yea Rand All the ones that followed until graduation a they begged to diagram sentences and sleep on hard chairs in the Library. Universal pre&9 Syndicate no kidding favorite foods of 6 presidents t. George Washington a Cream of Peanut soup a 2. Franklin Roosevelt a Fried Cornmeal Mush 3. Andrew Jackson a Turkey hash 4. Ulysses Grant a cucumbers in vinegar. 5. Grover Cleveland a corned beef and cabbage 6. Dwight Eisenhower a prune whip Road maps of the stars 1. Garth Brooks Boulevard in Yukon okla. 2. Red Skelton Bridge a in Vincennes ind. 3. Tammy Wynette Highway a in Ita Wamba county miss. 4. Elvis Presley drive a in Tupelo miss. 5. Perry Como Avenue a in Canonsburg a. 6. James Stewart Boulevard a in Indiana a. World features Syndicate Page 10 sunday May 29.1994