European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - June 12, 1994, Darmstadt, Hesse To avoid this god like tag Joe Bob Briggs goes to the drive in you Ever had somebody Tell you that you have a a a god Given Talent does this tick you off this ticks me off. Its a Way of saying a you just did something that has nothing to do with you. God gave it to you. He just happened to pick you instead of somebody of yeah maybe. Except that people usually talk about a god Given talents when they re talking about something that requires 20years of training and practice to do correctly. They talk about professional baseball players having Quot god Given and professional baseball players Start playing the game at 6 years old and if they practice every Day of their lives might have a Chance to become a major league Star 16 years later. If god was Gonna give Mem the Talent Why did no the just give it to Mem right off what would happen if god gave Mem the Talent when they were 43 years old instead of 22? could they just Trot out on the Field and Start striking people out people talk about writers who have a god Given Talent a in be never met a great writer who did no to struggle to train himself every Day of his life. And the ones who can to put in the five to 10 hours a Day done to become writers at All. Unfortunately we have a god Given movie this week. Its called the Demon keeper and not since plan 9 from outer space have this Many Earnest actors been this sincerely awful. I use a awful Quot As a term of the utmost admiration because this is one of those flicks so perfectly horrible that its mesmerizing. There Are bad movies and then there Are movies that go into a stratosphere of the Ultra bad the kind of bad that a a religion and an Art form. This is such a movie. Edward Albert is a shyster psychic trying to fleece an old lady out of her Money. Dirk Benedict is a real psychic with a Goatee who a watching Albert like a Hawk during an ancient Druid ritual that they read about in a Book. When members of the seance party Start being slaughtered by a 10-foot-tall Lizard Demon who Speaks through a Larynx Box Benedict and Ai Bert stand around with the rest of the House guests looking surprised. To these people dead bodies Are like so much lint on their Armani suits. They re perfectly willing to turn Back to dinner party conversation about whether demons Are real. Thirteen dead bodies. One dead dog. Twelve breasts. Witch burned at the stake. Gratuitous Golf course scene with hysterical mafia Guys trying to collect a debt from a golfer. Woman eating dog. Sword slicing. Drive in Academy award nomination for Albert for making Long speeches about Devil gods bom of Man from the seeds of Angels and Black magic and a psychic either Zero stars or four stars depending on How you look at it. Joe Bob says Check it Bob s advice to the hopeless Victory Over the 20th Century the Fork Union drive in on state route 612 in Fork Union va., remains a thriving Enterprise thanks to Stephanie Armistead whose father . White built it 40 years ago. F. Lee Snavely of Richmond reminds us that with eternal vigilance the drive in will never die. The Demon keeper is a Devil of a film. Dear Joe Bob. As a former literature professor i find the self reflexivity and multiple layers of irony in your columns to be the sine qua non of Post structuralist social criticism if you know what i mean and i think you know what i mean. Of yeah and your stuff is a Hoot to read. John Marlin Chicago dear John. A professor of semiotics once broke Down my columns and found that when you disregard the meaning of them they make sense. Dear Joe Bob a loved your list of top movie villains. To is Worth noting that in comics at least there is a persistence of the nazis As villains either they remain As a cult secret society with apostolic succession from Hiller or Himmler or they Are led by an actual surviving High nazi Mickity muck who has become immortal through one or another Means perpetual youth artificial body disembodied head whatever. Time travel to world War ii is really popular too. The nazis work so Well As films comics villains in addition to being about the closest thing this world has seen to True absolute evil on a nationwide basis they have great costumes. Mike Baron writer of nexus one of the truly great comics of the �?T80s pointed out that the communists were never quite As satisfying because they always dressed in drab uniforms but nazis had things like Silver skulls on Black shirts. You gotta love that. Normal Spinrad made a similar Point in his Brilliant novel the Iron dream which if you Haven to read you should the novel itself is a bit much but the afterwards is great and says things about hardcore of fans a like myself a they Are very uncomfortable to consider. Kevin Maroney Yonkers . Dear Kevin i did no to mean to say that nazis Are obsolete. I love nazis. They re just not As plentiful Ever since Guys like Conrad Veidt went on to that big is work Camp in the sky. Dear Joe Bob i enjoy your column and in a a fan of the genre you review but my wife is Kinda squeamish and wont allow me to rent most of the videos you suggest. How can i get her to give pm a try Rick Matthews Alexandria a. Dear Rick your w Ife wont a a allow you to rent drive in movies Rick we gotta talk. This could get complicated. Creators Syndi Caia wars horror of death and Hope of life Linda Ellerbee to discuss the meaning of life with Joe Bob or to get free junk in Tho mail and Joe Bob s world famous newsletter the Joe Bob Ropon write Joe Bob Briggs . Box 2002, Dallas Texas 75221 Joo Bob s fax Lino is always open. 21 4 360-23 to. I his morning listening to the news on the radio i kept hearing the announcer say a president Clinton is in Europe to Mark the 50th anniversary of a Day the world War ii invasion to take Europe Back from he said the same thing at the hour and half hour each time identifying a Day As if we know what it was if he Hadnot told us. Two weeks ago Here in new York City the 78-year-old memorial Day Parade was cancelled for Lack of interest John Morahan an american legion official who organized past parades said a last year there were two kids on Broadway on each Block. And Only one of them had a what Are we to make of All this is it that a Day is simply too far away in time capt. Alex Shulman was a surgeon in a Hospital tent during the Normandy Campaign. Quot i was working away when the sergeant came in and said a Captain you better come out Here and look at this so i looked out into the Field and i was horrified because Here was a huge Field just covered with wounded soldiers. It reminded me of that scene from gone with the wind. I have Felt that the american Public never really understood the War. You can see All the pictures of buildings broken Down you can see pictures of refugees coining up the Highway but you can to really get an impression of War until you be smelled it. And you done to get that on no we did no to even have to then. But when it came to Vietnam television showed us the bloody face of War in living and dying color right in our living rooms every night perhaps War Hadnot changed at All. And suddenly we weren t a fall in this together anymore. But perhaps it was Only the new More personal in your face Way it was Cov Rcd that made us think Vietnam was different. Perhaps War has always been the same. Andy Rooney,-60 minutes resident curmudgeon was 23 years old and a reporter for the stars and stripes when he landed on Normandy Beach. Years later he was interviewed for a television program i worked on and he had what i thought was a most curious observation about War in general. He said a it is a sad thing about War How interesting it is for the people who arc in one. If you Are not killed War is the greatest experience of a lifetime because you arc living to the fullest. All of us live Pur lives at Hal Speed but in wartime you Are living at full that has the unmistakable ring of truth does no to it. I Don t remember a Day i wan t born yet. But i be often thought that if it takes courage to die for your country there a also some courage required to give birth during a War. Look at it this Way having a baby is one Way of saying you Arentt afraid to invest in the future. Another Way was to buy a War Bond. I have one of those. The Date on it is aug. 15, 1944, the Day i was born Tail end of that liberation summer the Bond was a gift to a new baby. It was an investment in her future and a Promise from her country. The future kept its value. Her country kept its Promise. Me i kept the War Bond. To remind me of War. To remind me of life. And so it goes. King features Syndicate. June 12, 1934 sunday 3age 21
