European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - April 25, 1986, Darmstadt, Hesse Page 18 the stars and stripes Friday april 25, 1986 columns re cry need t forage for a Home by Andy Rooney i m thinking of offering Ferdinand and Imelda Marcos a place to live. Through a Friend who s been covering the Philippines Story i be obtained a 23-Page, single spaced list of the contents of 11 suitcases and 22 wooden boxes the mar costs brought with them to Hawaii when they left Manila. I know the Marcoss Are desperate for a place to live. Maybe if i m Nice to them they la throw a few of their trinkets my Way. I want them to understand though that they won t be living As luxuriously As they be been accustomed to. We have a room Over the garage for them that s Small but Nice. It has a closet a Black and White television set and a bathroom. The bathroom is about the size of those on an Airliner. Ferdinand and Imelda just won t be Able to Shower together. The list in front of me came from the . Customs service which inspected their Luggage. You can bet the Marc oses never dreamed the contents of their bags would be checked. I m staring at the list in disbelief. I Don t know where we re going to put All this stuff if they come to live with us but i la find room somewhere. Here Are a few samples no. 375854 Brown Alligator bag. This must be a Small suitcase because it has Only 10 items in it. They be each been appraised and their estimated value seems conservative item no. 1 Diamond studded hair comb $44,410. Item no. 2 Gold Crown a diamonds and 22 Mabe pearls $18,835. I Don t know what a Mabe Pearl is item no. 3 necklace w/5 Large sapphires a Dia monds & 7 Small sapphires $376,990. Item no. 6. One set Bracelet earrings brooch of sapphires rubies diamonds $1,487,415. The contents of the Alligator bag was valued at $2,835,336. One suitcase. Most of the wooden boxes contained Cash. The contents of dozens of the boxes were listed simply As "100-peso Bills x 16,000." that s 1,600,000 pesos. There Are 20 pesos to the Dollar so each of those boxes contains $80,000. Box no. 17 had in it 1,004,000 pesos or $50,200. Well find some Safe place to tuck those boxes in our House. If Ferdinand comes to live with us one thing he s Al ways going to know is what time it is. I counted 73 watches packed in these suitcases. Here s a Man s Gold rolex $7,500." in that same aluminium suitcase with the watches he has five handguns three barrettes a magnum and a Walther pistol. I m going to have to ask Ferdy to leave those behind. There was a car stolen at the Railroad station in our town last year but the Marc oses had 48 cars so if he loses a Mercedes once in a while it in t going to interfere much with his ability to get around. According to this list Marcos has More than 100 pairs of Gold and Diamond cuff links. I m going to speak to him about those. We usually eat dinner in the Kitchen during the week. There s a Nice Cherry table i made there and i Don t want it scratched up. Imelda must be bonkers Over pearls. She has More than 150 Pearl necklaces with her although she was t very neat about packing her jewelry. Listen to this Gucci soft Shell suitcase. 19 assorted stones in Gold setting $59,050. Sapphire beads a Diamond necklace in 18 Karat Gold $65,500. 6 strands emeralds rubies sapphires and diamonds $82,425. Used clothing. 1 bag used anyone who d put $82,000 Worth of emeralds sapphires and diamonds in with six pairs of shoes and their dirty clothes is not a neat person. I la speak to them about this. I know the Marc oses Are among the most detestable thieves of All time but i Don t want to have to pick up after them when they leave their jewelry and Gold watches All Over the place. The Marc oses Are said to be Worth As much As $10 billion. I wonder what i should charge them for rent forthe room Over our garage. C Tribune Media services save time get beef parking space by Art Buchwald you be seen them in the morning and you be seen them at night the wild commuter Drivers hurtling their cars through traffic at Rush hour on the Way to and from work. They la Cut in front of you honk behind you and Force you Over the curb. What motivates these modern barbarians to risk not Only their necks but yours As Well the answer is time. The people you see driving hell Bent on the streets and highways Are not Only saving minutes but seconds from their trips. But no one has Ever asked them what they do with the time they save. 1 was curious so i decided to follow several of them Home. The first one i took after was in a Mercedes convertible. It was t easy to follow him to his destination but i managed to do it. As i pulled up the Driver was on the stoop kissing his Little daughter. Sir i said i noticed you were driving pretty fast. How much time do you save by scaring everyone off the Road in a 20-mile trip i usually save two to three minutes unless some stupid Moron stalls his car at a Stop sign. Tonight that dumb school bus almost made me it s hard to believe after the Way you drive that you Only save three minutes on a trip i said. No sweat. I be been the first Guy on the Block to get Home for two years. No one takes that away from what do you do with the time i beg your Pardon you save two to three minutes every night and heaven knows you take your life in your hands. Surely you must do something with the precious he thought about this. I get to kiss my could t you kiss her three minutes later some nights she wants to go to bed Early and the three minutes is the difference Between seeing her and not seeing her at All. I m a Good father. The reason is i always make sure i m pulling in when my daughter runs out of the House even if i have to hit a school bus to do i left him relating to his child How he almost hit a Cement truck so he could be Home in time to Tell her a Story. The next car i followed was a speeding Oldsmobile filled with car coolers. I stopped them at the first turnoff. I notice you re going pretty fast gentlemen. Could you please Tell me what you plan to do with the few minutes you saved i m going to write a Book said one. I m going to Wash my dog the second one said. I m going to Rushing be the roof the third said. The Driver said i m going to watch tapes of the last three redskins of Tell me honestly Why the reckless Speed there Are four of us the Man behind the wheel said. If i did t jump Over Volkswagen i d get my last two passengers Home late and then they would ask someone else to be the the final car i followed was a japanese sports car. I Don t think i would have Ever be Nable to catch up with it had it not crashed into an eight Wheeler refrigerator truck. Well i said to the Driver you did t save any Tim getting Home was t trying to save any time going Home " he said As he picked up the door and threw it in the Back seat. Don t kid me. Do you deny you were doing 75 Miles per hour i Don t deny that. The part i m denying is i was going Home. I was leaving the House to go to what difference does a few minutes make the difference of me or Manny getting the no. 1 parking place in the to station c los Angeles times h&5 be a on that 2om&& paste. For. Weeks . Probably be some Jim before a \ really shakes it. Isa goop night of z s. I just left strict orp5rs heist Type Pristup Bop try to r5memkr, or a wer Pont be we you lov5 today s crossword by Eugene Sheffer across1 Saloon Choice 6 feeding time garb 9 Nancy Shubby 12 overhead 13 mine output 14 Lennon wife 15 for Sake 16 retire 18 Salem site 20 Long 21 congressional output23 Viet names Holiday 24 tears 25 khayyam27 consumerist Ralph 29 brouhaha31 saws 35 moved sneakily 37 Fly alone 38 missile holders41 fun and games for Short 43 cookie container44 sans opposer 45 Corrida hero47 deteriorate 49 Batter of verse 52 Rifle,. 53 past 54 Castle or Dunne 55 comic Louis 56 Beach shade57 top actors Down 1 swimming unit 2 actor Vigoda 3 join the army 4 at any time 5 Bowling Alley Button 6 andean capital 7 steel making need 8 Wager 9 Gotham City hero 10 turn Dover 11 protuberances 17 Verdi works solution time 25 min. Yesterday s answer 19 fiction category21 Bud s partner 22 current unit 24 crimson26 fanciful decor style 28 Library device 30" Gratia artis"32 set sail 33 actor wallach34 off Spring 36 Hydrogen nucleus 38 Cosmos Host 39 White 40 Call you sweetheart 42 cartoon sea Serpent 45 ancient attire 46 Steak order 48 butter helping 50 finish 51 Toady reply 21 25 29 38 44 47 52 55 22 39 18 40 26 35 23 30 48 53 56 19 27 45 13 16 36 41 28 31 24 42 49 54 57 17 20 37 46 14 32 43 10 33 50 11 34 51 4-25 Hubert 1 gave Hubert Park it of Coffee 1 to Nett Mother �1986 King features Syndicate. Inc would Nihls loser Ved of
