European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - May 24, 1986, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Saturday May 24, 1986 the stars and stripes Ann Landers Page 11 letters dear Ann Landers several Days ago a National newscaster presented a Story about the thousands of letters that land in the new York Post office s dead letter bin. That bit of in formation made a big Impact on me. I a could t get it out of my mind. I wonder How Many lives Are affected because of letters that never reached their destinations. Were romances ended before they had a Chance to get started How Many financial deals were ruined How Many family tics were broken because a letter asking forgiveness or extending congratulations was never received to Many silence Means rejection. People Are Hurt when they think they have been ignored. Forty years ago a letter sent to a hand some Soldier Apo new York came Back to me. I never heard from him again. 1 have often thought my entire life would have been different if that Man had received my letter. I have wondered too what he thought when he had no word from me. The obvious conclusion was that i did t care Tosee him again. Please Ann urge your readers to address their letters More carefully. And Tell them it is important to put a return address on the envelope. At least they will know the letter did t get to the person intended. And Tell them too to write a second time if they Don t get a response or even a third time. Thanks for your time. Still wondering in Wisconsin dear Wuu thanks for yours. Almost every Batch of mail sent to me will contain a handful of angry letters from readers who complain because they did not receive a reply. They Don t realize that they must Send a self addressed stamped envelope or that they sent the letter to the wrong address or that they left off the zip code. Thank you for giving me an Opportunity to air my frustration. Dear Ann Landers i recently tried to Exchange a birthday gift Given to me by my husband s sister. Much to my Surprise and disappointment the clerk told me it had been purchased several years ago. Obviously Marie had Given me something that had been hanging in her closet but never worn. The store tickets were still attached i was furious and Hurt and told my Hus band. He told his parents. My Mother in Law told Marie. Marie called to apologize and said she thought she had told me she had had the outfit for some time. She also sent a gift certificate that i could use else where. Marie and my husband have always been competitive but i have treated her like a sister. Now i feel betrayed by my Mother in Law. Since the incident i be Only seen Marie twice and feel uncomfortable in her presence. My Mother in Law is try ing to fix things up by inviting us All to dinner. My husband feels that we both have been insulted. What do you think about this mess any answers no names . Seems to me there Are an awful lot of Loose lips in your family staring with your husband. The real culprit Mowerer is your Mother in Law. She should Haerer a told Marie. Now i Hope you will Tell Marie you re sorry so much was made of thu Flap and that you want to put it All behind you. Then do it and  t Tell your husband anything you Don t want your Mother in Law to blab around to other family members. Reminder All letters to the editor must contain the full printed name and address of the writer and must be signed. We do not read in a tend letters but we will withhold your name on request and protect your privacy. All letters Are subject to editing. Foreign service does t offer families life of luxury As an Ordinary military wife and As a former . Embassy employee both the Story ". Foreign service spouses to work and the letter Bellyache is caught my attention. During my year As an embassy Community Liaison officer i Learned that compar ing lifestyles of military wives and foreign service wives is like comparing apples with oranges similar but different. A few comparisons May help to Clear up the critic s View that foreign service life is just peaches and Cream. Facilities embassies ranging from 50 to 200 americans assigned and consulates five to i5 americans arc Small consequently they do not have the scale or variety of support typically found at even Small overseas bases like an Exchange commissary clinic school Chapel gym theater Aya an Spe Cial activity groups Etc. An embassy in a Large City May have the larger overseas business Community s clubs to join for example the american women s club but there is no All embassies diplomats  thus the composition size and interaction of the foreign Community is not like a base Community. Housing East Berlin Tours include a glance at blocks of apartments where Western diplomats live. These units Are not super terrific. In East bloc or High Cost areas Hong Kong . Government leased housing is available but a foreign service fam ily relinquishes its housing allowance just As military families do in government leased housing in West Germany. Senior diplomats and some military at taches like generals May also live in government leased houses but surrender their housing allowances. Everyone else finds their own housing within their allowance. A comparison of compensation and allowances would be More accurate Between Dod civilians and foreign service officers so these examples Are general. Travel allowance foreign service families spend most of their time overseas. They Are not eligible for Mac flights. They do have Home leave like Dod civilians. Congress Dod and the state department Are All involved in setting travel entitle ments for each service. Entertainment allowance foreign service officers do not have across the Board entertainment allowances. Senior diplomats have them Only for official enter Taining but the purpose is specific and part of the Job somewhat comparable to official military functions. Another example of similar but differ ent is the Community Liaison office and service agencies found at most bases. The clo a one or two person office manages information useful Lor newcomers family and cultural programs and dependent employment. Its services vary with the needs of a particular embassy. Similar base agencies would be army Community service of family services m or Etc. Because there arc few jobs for spouses at an embassy the clo position rotates yearly. Volunteer work for spouses differs too. The size of an embassy and the foreign business Community As Well As the Host nation s culture All determine what a Volunteer can expect to find. East bloc and other nations May not have Volunteer groups As we know them they May or May not want foreigners directly involved in so Cial and welfare concerns. It depends on where you arc. Military foreign service and spouses of . Businessmen overseas share a common problem in finding employment. An embassy like a base or Host nation cd ingot absorb everyone who wants to work. As the Story said the Host nation May have restrictions licensing of teachers Etc High unemployment or a communist Economy the . And a few countries Canada for one have reciprocal work agreements to enable diplomats spouses to work if they find employment. The foreign service is now opening Only Junior staff jobs to spouses similar to those available to Mil iary dependents through any base civilian personnel office. Before spouses usually were part time intermittent employees they worked Only when an employee was ill on leave or in bound Etc. And foreign service spouses like military spouses will be recognized for Volunteer work. As the original Story said before 1972, a foreign service officer s performance was judged partly by How Well the spouse contributed to his her  military and foreign service spouses simply reflect american society where women depending on their desires and circumstances blend raising families volunteering and working. For example Alt 17 nominees for offices in our local wives club have done so. Foreign service families also have inconveniences. Terrorist threats Are number one since most embassies locations Are in downtown areas. Families May have to evacuate quickly Teheran Beirut leaving a spouse behind to Complete duties. In some places canned goods Are ordered by Catalon. Local medical facilities May be the Only ones nearby. Long hours exist too especially when the president a Cabinet officer or congressional delegation visits. Marine guard duty is single and unaccompanied. Bellyache is and crybabies just do not typify foreign service families. The Mili tary and diplomatic missions Are different but the goals Are similar to carry out american policy. Peggy Speelman Ramstein a Germany both our military and diplomatic services Are filled with people who really care about their jobs and Are effective representatives of our government while they Are overseas. As in any occupation there also is a smattering of people who constantly complain mine irritates Reader it is with personal resentment and con Cern that i express my opinion of a widely used remark made on a daily basis by Many soldiers specifically Many of our leaders in today s army. Everywhere i go i hear noncommissioned officers warrant officers and commissioned officers frequently use the words i my and mine in a manner which i consider very self entered. It s my sol Diers my clerks my first sergeant my sergeant major my to Etc. Pen Palf i am a Public scr of teacher and would like my pen pals. I am 25 vean old and my Hobby Are singing Hun Long to Muiloc going to Moulai Reading and partly. Rod Lela Cabang Larena , Negru Oriental. Philippine i would like to correspond with pen pals from All Over the world. I am 36 years old. Teresa Kelly Hario Wisie cm18-6ew, England phrases such As my food service sergeant got a 90 on my dining facility inspection or i had my Noti without any com ments Are frequently heard. According to Webster those words relate to the possessor or the act of doing some thing by yourself. Since the year 1865, no one has possessed another human being nor can one person do everything to pre pare for any inspection in today s army. I am certain that no one Means these words in an offensive manner or that they even realize what they Are really saying. But that does not excuse the fact that those Are individualistic remarks and the United states army is not and cannot be an organization that accepts practices or Breeds individualism. As leaders we must strive to set the example and not get caught up in remarks or actions that might lend us to an attitude of superiority. A concerned first sergeant Northern Italy and would rather be elsewhere. Having now had two overseas Tours. I can attest to the fact that the senior officers wives i be known have been highly dedicated and extremely involved in Volunteer work both in the american Community and the local one. They literally live their jobs 24 hours a Day and sacrifice their personal lives in the process. I find it strange that that writers arc so critical of the idea of remuneration for these women. The military has i believe Long recognized that spousal employment is often desirable and advantageous for mor ale. Employment of military spouses takes precedence Over civilians who May apply. I am surprised the writer does not have assistance with housing the military families Here get a housing allowance As we do. However when we foreign service families arc assigned Back to the ., there arc no base quarters to occupy nor is there a quarters allowance. Our total housing costs Are paid out of our regular salary. Our travel allowance if you would like to Call it that is a once a very two year Home leave that often coincides with the end of an assignment and pays transportation to our domicile. I Hope that i have cleared up a few mis conceptions about foreign service benefits. Fortunately one of the benefits i be received Here has been knowing Many Fine military families who like foreign service families enjoy their Tours overseas and value the friendships formed Here. Mary Rabadan Rotterdam the Netherlands european edition cmdr Jeffrey s. Zakem in Deputy editor m chief . Blackwell m. Proctor . Mcdermott production manager managing de. Circulation manager this newspaper it an Auto relied unofficial publication for members of he military services overseas. Contents of the Slat and stripes Are nol necessarily the official views Al. Or endorsed by the . Government the department of defense or the . European command. The appearance of adverts no in this pub Callon including inserts or supplements does not constitute endorsement by the department of defense or the stars end stripes of the products or services advertised. Everything advertised in this publication shall be made available for Purchase use or patronage without regard to race color religion be National org Lyl age marital status physical Handicap political affiliation or any other non Merll Factor of the purchaser user or Patron. Military address toe stars end stripes. Apo Onil. International mall the stars and so roles. Postrach 11 10 a d-4100 Darmstadt ii. Germany. Tel Gale Shell civilian i06issi 4010 military Darmstadt  237 1 741, the european Telephone system ets number 34i-s741. Tele 0419-332. New York office Boom 401, 151 seventh ave., new York 10001. Tel area code 211 uo-3331 news bureaus bit8urg, Germany Jean Albright building 102, room 2ioa. Billburg a Apo wi32 Telephone Civ. Set s77v. Mil. 222i-70s2. Bremerhaven Germany Joe Mapother building 103, Cert shun Cavern. Apo 09069 let Ephone Bremerhaven Mil base do. 047-h7n. Kaiserslautern Germany Dick Hodgson and Paul Cotov. Building 2197, Pulaski Barracks Apo 09012 Telephone vog Tweh Mil. Ii3�i us ets no. 4�.4is or Kalier Slauter Civ. 10631 hi04. Munich Germany Charlie Bowden building i stairwell 114, room ii. Mcgrew Cavern soured. Apo09407 Telephone Munich Mil. Is i 7110, ets no. 440-7120 or Munich Civ. 009-690-1000. Nuernberg Germany Tony euro Ltd Bull Dan ii William o. Darby Cavern Apo of Telephone Nuernberg Mil. 262i-71j6, ets no 440-72s4 or Nuernberg Civ. Mill 7i2s63. Stuttgart. Germany Dan Wourm and Joe Owen building a room i if. Pelcin Ber Racu Boa my Apo i lot Ephone Patch Mil. 2779-l44t, ets no to a or Civ. 107111 4177171, Tete mail Naples Italy Robert Leonard hangar #1. Capoul cum As Fpo by oh21 Telephone Civ. Oojh1-7si4ss4, no. Auto on 4ij-Iiioel. Ait. Cwt id kingdom j. King niger and Den dam building 01 Cess us. Raf ill Denham Apo 0107 Tele phone Mil. Auto on 231-1110 extensions 2e5e.23z or Mildenhall Civ. 063b 713817. Washington . Clint set and Chuck Toai. Oast a the Pentagon. Room 2e7si, pro. To 4mb. Washington 20050-6095 Telephone 202 att Eefie. Circulation Offei Germany. Berlin Cly. L33u4e, my 4117, ets no. J33 4412 Bremerhaven Civ. 15161, Mil Al if. Ets no 34m1� Khaki main. Frankfurt Civ. Mama or Ensti. My an or 7103, ets no. 330-6025 or 7109. Teen Moi Kahan autom Cly. S7070 or s7on, Mil. To gotten m50, in , Munich Civ. Mem or 490is04. A. M4. Ets no. 440-4js4 Nuernberg Civ. 7i2ssi, Mil 7001, ets no. 440-7001 soul Garl Civ. 0711-0701496, Mil. U30, ets ne.439-4030. Greece Athens Civ. 9923390. Italy Vic eat Cly. Stan. Spain Madrid Mil 003411 205-6100 or Civ. 003411 Turkey Istanbul Civ. 16u372, tet i 14174 sans to. United kingdom Greenham common Civ. Newbury 043 44741 Mil Newbury 04351 46243 exl. 209