European Stars And Stripes (Newspaper) - August 20, 1988, Darmstadt, Hesse                                The care and feeding of those who care for your children by Andrea Higbie new York times for baby Sitters Money in t , however is essential to the  Rich selection of snacks can be the saving Grace of a bad night with two whining children one with a Nasty cold and the other demanding encore readings of Green eggs and Ham. Here is a perfect scenario saturday night envisioned by Elizabeth Kelleher a 17-year-old who baby sits and lives in Montclair . They would have ice Cream Haagen dazs Coffee ice Cream i love it of god with hot fudge. There would be Good humor toasted Almond bars almost Home fudge Peanut butter cookies and nachos with cheese sauce cooked in the microwave. And oreo cookies and milk. There would be ruffles potato chips with sour Cream and onion dip and cheer doodles and Entenmann s chocolate covered  and this is the worst that could happen they would , or they would have Only health food those dried fruits and nuts and terrible Granola bars or those Rice cakes they re so  what Kelleher usually finds nestled in the refrigerators and cupboards of the Homes where she baby sits Are foods that fall Between her Brand of ice Cream and the dreaded Granola bars. I get a lot of Popcorn and pretzels she said. In interviews with 40 baby Sitters from different parts of the United states As Well As 30 parents who use baby Sitters the teen agers expressed a unified desire for foods their own parents rarely buy a melange of the Sweet and Salty. They Wash it Down with their drink of Choice diet Coke even if they Are not dieting. Like Kelleher they love ice Cream often Premium  fear finding nothing to eat and share a loathing for what they refer to As health  the Appeal of baby sitting aside from being paid for a few hours of acting As a surrogate Parent centers on the Promise of permitted gluttony. It s of to pig out because it s once a week and you re by yourself and no one s watching said Sarah Slattery 17, of Greenwich conn., who favors chocolate not teaching self control to a hot head child by Marianne and Stephen w. Garber and Robyn Freedman Spizman Cox news service How do you teach a Strong willed 7-year-old to control her temper and to learn to control herself even though she is angry. Is it of to get so upset Over Small things Mother of a hot head dear Mother of a hot head it seems that some children Are born with Shorter fuses and hotter tempers than others. This temperament can remain a lifelong personality characteristic or a child May grow out of it there Are however a number of things you can do to help your child learn to control her anger and Cool Down so that Little things Don t upset her As easily. Coping skills Are ones that All children will gain from so try these techniques with a hot head and a Cool one too. Label the feeling. Begin by assuring your child that it s of to get angry. Everyone does from time to time. Help her Label feelings that Lead to anger such As disappointment frustration and embarrassment. Getting in touch with these primary feelings and expressing them can go a Long Way toward reducing angry outbursts. Define acceptable and non acceptable ways of expressing anger. With your child list those situations that often Lead her to become upset. At a Calm time role play alternative ways to react to upsetting events. Initially take the child s role portraying the attitude she typically takes and then a different response. Reverse roles allowing the child to act out both preferred and less desirable approaches. Use common situations and then new ones that Are Likely to provoke anger. Also Don t be afraid to have fun with the acting. A Little laughter indicates the child recognizes How extreme the reactions Are. However be careful not to push her too hard and remember to Praise her lavishly for her willingness to role play. Teach anger control. Counting to 10 usually does t work As a method of anger control for two reasons. First a child rarely uses it consistently. Secondly while he is counting his anger builds rather than wanes because the child is doing nothing to relax and dissipate emotions. To overcome these problems and provide a More effective method of anger control create a series of specific statements your child can use to defuse her anger. If she gets upset when Little things Don t go her Way she might say things happen which i can t  repeating no one is perfect i Don t have to be great in everything might dispel her frustration when she can t Complete a task to her satisfaction. Have your child practice reciting the appropriate statements when she feels herself becoming angry. Simultaneously teach your daughter relaxation techniques. Practice often enough they will give her another Means of relaxing when she becomes tense. Instruct her to take a deep breath exhaling slowly As she silently repeats the word  she could then Combine slow easy breathing with additional statements indicating contingency plans such As if i am still upset after i count to 10, then i can leave the  Page 16 the stars and stripes saturday August 20,1988