European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - February 03, 1991, Darmstadt, Hesse Joe Bob has a message for the troops w a Anda Bodine said to me a Joe Bob How can you go to the drive in a when this country is at War a and i said a Well i did no to real inc that if i went to bad girls from Mars american soldiers might suffer As a its just not respectful Quot Wanda told me. A sol Dicks Are fighting missiles Are being launched the world is going to hell in a handbags act land you a a what a a handbags act a. A what a a. A a 9. said the world was going to hell in a handbags act. What a a handbags act a a a it a a Basket you carry in your hand. A a i done to get a a you re scum a Wanda told me. A a you re useless a i guess you re one of those people who thinks we ought cancel basketball games till the wars Over a i said to her a yes i a because if we got Busy w Matching basketball then we be sending the necessary Shirley Maclaine psychic voodoo Energy Over to the Middle East to help our boys kick a Well it would their morale a. Wanda said a i we concentrated on their a a maybe i ought just Stop everything till the wars Over i told her. A maybe i ought Stop. Watching to Stop writing movie reviews Stop drinking Beer. A a yes i agree a a a Stop taking showers Stop changing clothes and then Wanda got All outraged and she said a Well its not like America fights wars just so that people like you can spend All their time going to drive in a. And she walked out on me a stormed out of the room a and so i never had the Chance to answer her. But what i would have said is that a exactly the reason America fights wars. People in Russia stand in line All Day to get food. People in America buy Vars. People in Iraq Tell lies to important people so their children will be allowed an education. People in America go to the mall. People in China keep their Mouths shut at All times. People in America go Down to the Federal building and hassle the bureaucrats then go Home and get a Good nights sleep without giving it a second thought. People in Albania wonder w hich of their neigh Borisa spy for the Security police. People in America wonder which movie to go watch. The Way you know a place is Reeis that people fed like its of to be trivial. The big stuff they done to even have to talk about it. So i went to the drive in this week too. After a All it was the patriotic thing to do. Speaking of National treasures Edy Williams is Back Edy the double threat exhibitionist who de. Mands to be allowed to take her clothes Oil in every scene in bad girls from Mars Edy is a a. Creators Syndicate what we re fighting for Joe Bob says the right to see films like a bad girls from Mars Wilh key Williams above in our local drive in Heaters. Stalked by a killer transsexual dressed up like a ninja in a Jason mask who s trying to replace her As the Star of a b movie. Its one of those b movies within a b movie that a spoof of b movies while being a b Movic and the real b movie at the same time. I think. In other words there a a whole Bunch of no kid in this one. In fact this is the first movie in be Ever seen where a woman has these great headlamps on her headlamps. A a. O 1 a a a forty nine breasts. Seven dead bodies. Groin bashing. Lesbo cat fight. Throat slitting. Wrestling babes. Exploding supporting actress. Nine Hundred thirty seven inside jokes for a Movic fans. Gratuitous blow up party doll. Gratuitous liquor store Holdup. Drive in Academy award Nobmi nations for of course Edy Williams for stripping off All her clothes nine times and for saying a the smell of garbage turns me into a wild woman a. Three stars. Joe Bob says Check it out. A a a a. A a. A a a about the budget shenanigans nothing like a healthy tax hike and a Layoff to go Home to. Keep the inspired work coming. \ v \ a Stan Whitney a operation desert shield dear Stan. You know what they do to you in saudi Arabia if they catch you looking at a no kid breast they a a corrects your eyeball. Done to even think about it. _ _ _ Quot Joe Bob Briggs goes to the movies Quot is distributed by creators Syndicate. To get too Unk in the mall and his Quot to Are Tho weird Quot now Lottor write . To 2002, Dallas. Texas 75221. Joe Bob s fax 214 -368-2jlo. Editors note the letter below was written prior to the outbreak of War in the persian Gulf hey Joe Bob All the videos we get Over Here in operations a desert shield have the breast scenes hacked out of them maybe the new nc-17 ratings will bring a resurgence in mesh tones and i bbl wiggle shots. In a in one of the Usan bomb disposal teams out Here classified location waiting oui the news. Its been 62 Days abroad now with no end in sight. Biggest entertainment so far is hearing february 3, 1991 sunday Page 17
