European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - June 16, 1991, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Pinch hitting Stepfather advances to clean up. Erma Bombeck Universal press Syndicate Hen i was 9 years old my father died. It Hurt More than the time i got my foot caught in the spoke of my bicycle and took twice As Long to heal. When i was 11 years old my Mother remarried. She called him my Stepfather. I called him Tom. If he had been a Relief Pitcher who had been brought into the game when the team was in trouble people would have cheered. If he had been an understudy who was filling in for the Star who could t go on stage he would have been appreciated and respected. If he had been a substitute teacher who took Over in the absence of the regular teacher he would have been applauded for his efforts. But none of those things happened. He was a Man who dared to move into a House that was mined with memories and charged with animosity. Not a Day went by that he did not do Battle with the ghost of daddy past. For an 11-year-old kid i must say my memory of my a real Quot father was astounding. I remembered him As a Saint who never shouted at me never asked me to pick up anything never insisted i eat everything on my plate or in general adhere to any rules. My a a real father was a Cross Between Peter pan and John Wayne. But throughout the next 50 years a strange thing happened. Slowly and insidiously visions of my natural father began to fade and in his place my Stepfather emerged. It got to the Point where i could no longer conjure up a face a Only the ones in photographs a and the same stories i used to Tell with such relish seemed pointless and trite. It was sobering to realize my natural father had not Given me away at my wedding kept Vigil while the grandchildren were being born dropped off hot soup w Hen we All had the flu or shared with is the school plays graduations and birthdays. Today an unprecedented number of Stepfather will celebrate fathers Day. There is a reason they do not have a Day of their of n. From the Day they enter a family they become fathers in every sense of the word. They May Start off As. Pinch hitters but when the pitches Start coming in they re a member of the team. My father died last november. Or w As i Tom 1 can t remember anymore. Miss manners Judith Martin United feature Syndicate ear miss manners at a business luncheon in a very Nice country restaurant the place setting included two Forks of the same size but a different pattern. This is an antique Type place where nothing matches and they serve the cold drinks in Mason jars. I assumed the outside Fork was the salad Fork and when the meal was served and the Only thing to cat with a Fork was the coleslaw in a separate bowl above the plate i used the outside Fork. When finished i placed it on my plate so it  fall out of the bowl. 1 when the waitress removed my plate she made a big show of taking the dirty Fork off my plate putting it Down picking up the clean Fork to the left of my plate and taking it with her. She then gave me my dessert a a piece of pie. I was quite embarrassed As several businesswomen sitting near me saw her do this. 1 always thought that it was Correct to use the outside Fork for the salad and that a dessert Fork or spoon would be provided with the dessert. Did i make such a mistake that i should have been subject to that embarrassment also i had to cat my pie with a dirty Fork. Gentle Reader perhaps if miss manners knew to what period this restaurant aspires she might be abbe to Check whether the waitresses behaviour was historically justified. There were periods in which country innkeepers did not recognize any principle of cleanliness in regard to the equip mint they provided. As you recall from moby Dick overnight guests could be expected to share horoscopes for the week of june 17 Aries March 21 april 19 make reservations for travel. Sign key documents. Soothe nervous partners. Watch your words at work. Taurus april 20-May 20 keep your sense of humor. Channel erratic energies through play. Stick to Home cooked meals. Entertain friends. Gemini May 21-june 20 ideas come in Bunches. Write them Down. Expect work plans to Ricochet. Change is your Middle name. Cancer june 21-july 22 Home is where the heart is. Friends come to you with problems. Love boat hits Rocky seas. Diversify business interests. Leo july 23-aug. 22 travel ideas almost overwhelm. Stick to original plan. Keep wits about you. Family issues remain tender. Virgo aug. 23-sept. 22 look outside yourself. Be flexible with schedule. Expect the unexpected there a restlessness in love. Libra sept. 23-oct. 22 avoid financial involvement with friends. Renew exercise routine. Avoid sweets find a new purpose cause even their hods with strangers. Some years ago however it became customary to provide clean Uteri Sils for every course and to set them out in the order of  restaurant clients is a compare. Timely modern idea presumably related to the anticipation of bribes to make haughty service people relent. But however widely practice it is not a part of acceptable restaurant service. This should hold True whatever the customers do but especially if As in your Case they arc eating correctly. The idea of bystanders believing that you were the transgressor in this scene strikes miss a manners As ridiculous. Dear miss manners occasionally i receive wedding invitations from people with whom my relationships arc at Best tenuous. I would be grateful if you would enlighten me about the proper responses to invitations received from a an cd heartthrob with whom i no longer have Contact. A an irritating co worker whose rudeness re a quires my constant struggle against the temptation to respond in kind. A. A someone whom i Only vaguely remember having met and who presumably got my address from an organizations membership list. A someone in a sure in be never met who perhaps sent invitations to everyone in my portion of the local Book. Gentle Reader miss manners was having such. An interesting time exploring your mail with you and reflecting How Nice it is being so much in demand that she began to worry that the answer to your Quiston is so simple As to seem unimaginative by comparison. R it is for goodness Sake just accept any invitations to weddings you want to attend and decline All the rest. You done to have to Send presents to people whose weddings you done to attend. Congratulatory  Nice but not required especially when you can to figure out who the people Are. A a a a Scorpio oct. 23-nov, 21 pour your heart into work. Learn about Media exposure. Compliments beget compliments worry less about Money. V. Sagittarius nov. 22-dec. 20 fantasize about ultimate lifestyle play Hooky from work. Resist extravagant spending. Think about second income. Capricorn dec. 21-Jan. 19 serve family members with compassion. Go easy on yourself. Write a love letter. Sock away some Money. A aquarius Jan. 20-feb. 18 you Are feeling productive. Follow through on commitments. In. Conventional attitudes emerge. Stick to tried and True. Pisces feb. 19-March 20 establish Lon term goals. Keep your life simple. Avoid emotional confrontations. Protect your own interests. Copley news services sunday june 16. 1991