European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - June 23, 1991, Darmstadt, Hesse Trends car Sweet car delivers All the comforts of Home Andy Rooney Tribune Media. A Quot to Quot Quot to Quot a were going out to cat with / Fri Antis who were visiting a recent saturday night. I was the w w first one ready and i decided to go to the car and wait for the others. There s always someone impatient who does that. This time it was me. It was pouring rain so i threw a Raincoat Over my shoulders and made a Dali for the driveway. Its hard to know what to do with an umbrella or a wet Raincoat when von get in in the rain. Once inside i had plenty of time for Idle. Thought. I wailed and watched As the rain splattered Down on the Windshield. I thought about. How difficult it must be to make cars watertight. With water splattering on the Rool and running. Down the windows in rivulets not a drop was getting on me. Amazing. I recalled How much i liked a tent in the rain when i was a kid. The Drivers seat is a Good shape and its adjustable. I have it fixed just right for me and i thought How comfortable i was. Better than my. Chair in front of the television set. Why done to i get a car seat for myself there in my car there Are dozens of conveniences at my fingertips even when in a not going anywhere. Lights music Are available at the press of a Button. On the coldest Day of Winter the car is snug and warm. On the hottest Day of summer its often the coolest place in town. The others came out interrupted my car thoughts and we drove to dinner. Tuesday morning i was Hack m my car for the drive to the City after the Long weekend i he temperature was in the b a and the Sun was hitting the car on the Drivers Side. The air conditioner is efficient but i decided to give it a Little help. I pulled Over and of the windows behind me with a of newspaper to deflect the heat of the Sun. I folded Over about an Inch of the paper opened the window a crack put the fold Over the top and then wound up the window catching the paper to make a window Shade of it. For the window next to me i Tore the paper in half so that i could still see the Reamer Mirror. It made the car seem wonderfully Shady inside. Aluminium foil is an even More effective window Shade but 1 did t have any with Rue As i drove through the nor Gay heat of the Day Cool a and comfortable in the car i had the satisfied feeling i had Defeated the elements again. I drive a 300 Miles most weekends in the summer. It takes at least three hours each Way and 1 get sleepy when the suns out. Ii and f Are together i always pull Oer and ask her to drive. She agrees out of fear i la fall asleep than from and real desire to drive herself. I f we go in two cars to our summer Home and i m alone which is most usual i pull Over to the Side of the Road when 1 get sleepy. If it s sunny and hot i pull into a Highway Gas station and Park on the Shady Side of a big truck m there. If i. Had to name the one thing i do As Well As any Man alive its go to sleep in a hurry. I sleep for six or eight minutes and awaken totally refreshed and ready to drive for however Long it takes. A its no have a love All air with their cars. Andy Rooney is a former stars who com Monts for lbs 60 stick bumper to bumper by Susan Sullam the Baltimore evening Sun. Quot i really is quite amazing How americans plaster bumper stickers on their cars so every Tom Dick and Jane will know w Here they stand on anything from abortion rights. To the environment to where their kids go to school to w Here they vacation. In a a bumper Slicker aficionado. The stickers always entertain me. One of my favourites is a eschew which is usually plastered on the backside of a Volvo. Another favorite is a born to shop. A who is born to shop does that mean when asked on a form what their occupation is these people list Quot shopper Quot. From Quot done to Mil melt my daughters a lawyer to a visualize world peace to Quot every Mother is a working Mother,�?T.�?T the old slogan Quot you you eat a seems to have Given Way to Quot you Are what your bumper sticker says you Are.�?�. ,. In a society in which americans regularly move from one location to another and have few Cornu nity ties there a need to proclaim ones social consciousness economic status level of education place of birth and political persuasion. A Hundred years ago things were different. If you were born a Boston Brahman the world knew you had All the advantages that privilege be stowed. If you were Horn on a farm in Kansas everyone for Miles around knew you and your. Family. More important everyone knew How your last crop fared. If you were born in the Irish italian or jewish ghettos of new York City you Divitt need to proclaim your identity. All your neighbors knew you were poor and uneducated just As they were. That has All changed. As ethnic ghettos have Given Way to suburban mobility and Rural farmlands have turned into smog tilled metropolises Many americans need a bumper sticker to Pyo claim who they Are or what they be become. This need to make a personal statement seems to get a a exist a Rouill election time. In l�?~jk-4, i re. Member the dilemma of a Friend who was what is known As a a yellow dog that san old Southern expression meaning you la vote for a Cyl Low mangy dog before you la vote for a Republican. In that Campaign it was Clear from the outset that Ronald Reagan was going to make mince meat of Walter Mohd Alc. While my Friend supported Mondale and wanted to do the politically Correct thing she was reluctant to have a loser stuck on her bumper for the next four years. Her solution Wax to apply the Mondale sticker in september. After he was soundly trounced in november she stuck the Bay Over poor Walter. Voila. Then there s the practical Side of bumper stickers. Anyone who has been lost and disoriented in a crowded mall parking lot knows that the sight of a familiar mean instant Relief. June n. 1991 sunday a Page
