European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - November 10, 1991, Darmstadt, Hesse Joe Bob goes to the drive i simply making a Mountain out of a capital Hill when 1 was u cub reporter. In or 20 years old working for female editors in Little Rock and Philadelphia and new York and Nashville i used to dream about being sexually harassed. 1 did t know How to spell Quot harassed Quot at the time so whal i was really dreaming about was being sexually any hinged. There were Veteran reporters who told stories about the woman who was fired for a sleeping with her sources a like they were telling me Quot if the Opportunity comes up. Don t even think about so i thought about it lots. 1 thought Quot today it la happen. Ill go out to the municipal waste management Bureau to interview the director of solid waste disposal and when i walk in it will be this sexually starved dark haired woman with Green eyes that will hunger for my. Well you know. But i never thought i was in danger. 1 never thought that some editor and i would go off to make the sign of the triple x gilled aardvark and then six months later she would decide i w As a Jerk and Send me off to cover traffic courts in South Jersey. I m sure it could have happened but i did no to worry about it. But lets look at whal Anita Hill is claiming. She says that Clarence Thomas made crude remarks pressured her for a Date tried to get her to talk about porno movies and because of that she fell in fear for her Job. She did no to feel enough in fear for her Job to complain about it. And when she was asked about that she says there were two reasons 1 she was Young and 2 there was a Quot discrepancy in Clarence had More of it. To which i say 1 eighteen is a grown up sweetie. 2 we have a word for people who lie and cover up and withhold their real feelings because of Quot fear for my its called but even if Anita got propositioned breathed on harassed and forced to listen to Clarences drive in movie reviews she could have done the same thing 1 did with. Well Well Call her Shirley Quot lungs Quot Sistrunk. Shirley came on Strong to me and i did i want any of it. She was an editor. I was a very Young reporter. She had the Power. I did t. She sent notes to my Ottliee Mailbox. We had lunch a couple of times. She said the right things. I was considering it. But i never went through with it. Why if i thought of tile like Anita Hill then i Traci lords is on target in a time to we. Would Sav 1 did t go through with it because it was too dangerous for my career or it was an abuse of Shirley a Power or it was too crude Tor this older woman to be making a pass at a Young naive guv. But it Wasny to any of those things. 1 never touched Shirley Sistrunk because one Cav while we were eating lunch she got a piece of Sandwich lodged Between her front Teeth and continued to talk to me like that Lor about 20 minutes. I get the image out of my mind for Das. And when Vout re 10 years old Stull like that really counts. When Shirley continued to press me. And quiet suggestions did no to help. I to d her one Day Quot i would do it but i find you physically this did the trick. It was the last conversation i had with Shirley. I guess people Are Gonna say a Well see there you could have lost your Job doing something like that a right. There Are More important things than jobs. Anita could have found the right thing to say to Clarence. Let s look at what really happened. She was too Chicken to say it. Speaking of women who do disgusting things in Public Traci lords is Back in a 7/me it it die still trying to Cross Over from porn Queen to Sinovic Queen this time she a a fashion photographer with a .45 magnum trading rounds w Ith a vice detective in her High tech loll where she sometimes aardvarks with Jeff Conaway. Re a. Member jell the Only Guy on to i you can never remember jell has this whole new drive in career playing Weir Beard cops. In a sorry to report it has happened again. What happens to every sex Symbol once they get a leading role that a right. Traci lords no longer takes her clothes off for the camera do you hear what in a saying this is a Traci lords movie and the girl is suddenly . Fortunately we have enough ear chases. Drug dealing Coke sniping and Hooker footage to keep our attention Lor an hour and a half bul still it Kinda makes you wonder done to it nine dead bodies. Four breasts. No motor vehicle Chase with Erash am Huni. Killer lesbians. Gra Iii Lous Peanut butter and Jelly. Drive in Academy award nominations for Richard Roundtree without whom no action movie would be Complete for saying a in other words you got your Hull kicked Nitchie Barrett As the sensitive Girlfriend of the sex husband for saying Quot i just happen to think she a right All the time Quot Conaway As the cop who Moons around lords All the time saying. Quot Are you mad at me a Robert Mann. As the corrupt vice cop who says. Quot tonight is the night i make you All mine a and a a there a a Lime to live and a Lime to die Quot and lords one of the finest crossover prom actresses in Hislord. Foi saying Quot you re pail of the system dial took my son away Iron me a i Hall slats. Ine Hob save Check ii on. Joe Bob Briggs creators Syndicate Joe Bob s advice to the hopeless Republican Alert chief Auto movies last remaining drive in in Solano county Calif was heavily damaged by a windstorm two years ago. Now they be finished the Job by dragging Down the steel reinforced screen with a wrecking Crane. The famous theater at interstate St and North i exas Street will soon be ugh a shopping Center. Bill Loren in of Benicia. Calif., reminds us that without eternal vigilance it can happen Here. Dear lot Bolt the Oiler Niolu i was watching win and they had some in ire Jeffrey Dahmer news. Now i hey re finding body parts in a swamp. This immediately reminded me of the movie Yon showed recently on Cable. Hell High. For the Lisl Lime the thought occurred to me someone somewhere sometime is going to make a movie based Oil Jeffrey Dahmer. They thought old Gein was a million laughs Quot it memory serves me he came by his corpses the old fashioned Way he stole them. This Dahmer Guy killed the owners to gel his Memorabilia and was a homosexual. Child molesting Cannibal to Boot. This is the guv some filmmakers have been wailing Bill one thing i know about the upcoming jul Rcv Dahmer movie a and believe you me someone will make it a is that it w ill probably have to be fictionalized. For example the first version of the Edgein Story was Hitchcock a Tsy Eho. The next version Lle Schell Gordon Lewis huh i beast was a Little closer to Cannibal reality Ami ii took Thoc Hooper to do the ultimate old Gein Story when he made i he i exas massacre in iv73. Bul mine of these films Ever used old Gem s name. Then Gein died in the 80s, and still there was nobody Brave enough to use his name. The silence of the l ambs is the first big build cd version of the Lai Gein Siors and even they had to conceal it. So what we re More Likely to have is a new movie with a poster that says something like Quot right out of today s headlines Quot blah blah blah bul they wont have to give Dahmer any Money because they wont use him. Thais my , Briggs As u typical redneck College graduate i d like to see you in a drive in movie. You d be chewing up a while mate infant and spitting out parts in 3-d Don t mean your daughter s Bra size. And then How about washing it Down with your squirt gun love and Dueks i Fez Sluis Witeli san Francisco dear la you gals have to Stop using that toxic lip gloss. To discuss my Thih Ihfe it it Iii wit ii a a he quil of to it 1 Wmk 1,1 the mail and he War it unit jus Ara Iho a Ted Niu Jot 6<j0 Bric is h o Linn 20u2. Dii Liiv to or la mint pm a if november 10. 1991 sunday x Page 1 7
