European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - March 8, 1992, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Words and wit not the most original negative in the world William Safire cd ton language j his usage occurs More often in spoken than in written communications a writes Franklin l. Noel magistrate judge of Federal District court in St. Paul. A rather than using the Ordinary syntax the speaker will express a negative by making an affirmative statement followed by a Brief pause punctuated by the word  As a Good judge should he includes a citation on a recent today show Jane Pauley the former co Anchor made an appearance to plug a new program that will not be called real life with Jane Pauley the title of her most recent show. A in describing the As yet untitled new show a writes the judge a Ems Pauley said that her daughter had suggested it be called Rea life with Jane Pauley. Not. My Law clerks often use this Mode of expression and i fear that my ignorance maybe  Noel is 40 years old i have been keeping a not file Ever since the pundit George f. Will writing about pork barrel legislation now simply called pork in the House appropriations committee commented a Bush will kill that program.  George handled it in a declarative rather than exclamatory fashion but he a a conservative this reversing addendum or pseudo gallic negative is a syntactical device popularized by Mike Myers and Dana Carvey the comedians who play the Cable to talk show characters Wayne Campbell and Garth Algar on saturday night live. It has exploded into the language in connection with the promotion of the Paramount movie Wayne s world and is Likely to be with us through the summer when it will disappear into Huta hoop land. I write Quot popularized rather than Quot coins about not because Abc faithful to etymological standards rebroadcast a 1978 saturday night live episode in which the comedian Steve Martin uttered the word in the belated negation context used today. Playing Chaz the Spaz Martin told Gilda Radner playing Lisa Zupner who had developed a dial a toaster Quot that a a fabulous science fair  he paused and sneered a not a electable Ltd a pc Linton a Campaign is not about ideology a Renee loth wrote in the Boston Globe a a it a about sect ability. A i think that the press should pay attention to someone with Good ideas a Paul Tsongas said before winning the new Hampshire primary a and not just look at electability a fall this talk about a electability said gov. Mario Cuomo waving his hand dismissively we were talking on the phone and i could hear him waving his hand. A whoever wins new Hampshire gets a presumption of  i think he hoped i  believe it in the linguistic contest Between electability and win ability its electability in a landslide. Win ability had a Good press Early in that Campaign especially after supporters of Dwight Eisenhower used it against Robert Taft Ike a competitor for the 1952 Republican nomination. As the Oxford English dictionary supplement notes it was a con promo Una pictures Mike Myers Rob Lowe Dana Carvey in Vaynes world. Cern expressed by Richard Nixon during his mid-60s comeback. The a a can twin theme was first used against Henry Clay in 1840 by Thurlow Weed the Albany Kingmaker who supported William Henry Harrison but win ability has been clipped to winnable and is applied to elections rather than candidates. The More staid and less Zingy elect a ability has maintained its franchise dating from the 1879 coinage of electable. A Chart plans to stress the a electability Issue a a wrote time Magazine in 1984, and the candidate had a Point his opponent Walter Mon Dale seems in retrospect to have been unelectable after his loss to president Reagan. But the prediction of defeat implicit in that a a issues does not always come True. In August 1987, sen. Bob Dole said a electability is going to be an Issue a but George Bush was deemed a and proved to be a capable of being elected. Can win ability always with two no a to differentiate it from the defeatist whine ability make a comeback and upset the entrenched electability its available. But who besides Cuomo can remember availability the new York time steer Clear of America s crash capital Tony Kornheiser i am cowering in my driveway afraid to Start my car. I know what you re thinking he a afraid someone has planted a pipe bomb under his car because he a such a crusading journalist and has taken such controversial stands As let s make Barney Fife the ambassador to Denmark. But no i am afraid to drive my car out of my driveway. This is because i live in Washington ., the Accident capital of the . A report by the Federal Highway administration says that Washington has a higher rate of injury producing car wrecks than any state in the Union. Wow in a living in a demolition Derby. And let me take this Opportunity to thank those swell pizza delivery Drivers for their contribution to the statistical Effort. Take a look at their cars lately they must get in 12 accidents an hour. Maybe if they get in an Accident within 30 minutes the fender work is free. Living in ., 1 am 37 percent More Likely to get injured in an automobile Accident than in the High est rated state new York. However Many car injuries get reported As homicides in new York since the people Are shot in their cars first and then they crash. Those states where you re least Likely to get into a wreck Are North Dakota Wyoming and new Hampshire which has just declared Paul e. Tsongas the most electrifying Democrat since Walter Reuther. What these states have in common is that virtually no one lives there and those that do Are Busy leaving. They drive Here and crash. The  Government ought to place Large Road signs at its Borders if you lived Here you a be in a neck Brace by now. This would explain Why insurance rates Are so High. I pay $16,500 a year to theoretically insure two cars. I say theoretically As i can no longer afford to own a car because of the insurance so i take the bus. My neighbors 17-year-old son just got his Drivers License. Instead of bringing his paycheck Home each week my neighbor established a direct Deposit Deal with state farm. A a in a hoping my kid goes to Yale next year a he told me. Quot its cheaper than the car  How come there Are so Many accidents in .? one reason suggested by Robert Krebs of the aaa is Quot the mix of  Washington is one of the most visited places in the world so you get a lot of tourists driving around. You get about 1,800 accidents an hour around the Washington Monument. People come from All Over a most of them Are graduates of the Jose Canseco driving Academy a and when they get close they stick their Heads out the window to see and of course they can to keep their hands on the wheel because How would they work the camcorder that Way so what you have Are cars going 30 or 35 Miles an hour being driven by the person in the passenger seat. Another reason is the intriguing pattern of the  Roads a the Many traffic circles Laid out Over 200 years ago by that Zany Frenchman Pierre Len Fant whose name roughly translates to a a Peter a body and  of those circles Are Beautiful. But they re not drivable. They re like a Maze. People get in with absolutely no clue How to get out. Hypnotized they drive round and round holding the wheel in a death grip. Some tortured souls actually Stop and attempt to Back out. Did you Ever notice How the Drivers already in the Circle never look at you As you approach the Circle never. Sure you see them. You re close enough to see the foam at the Comers of their Mouths. But they done to see you coming. Nor do they care. Does the Viceroy of ulan Bator care about who played first trombone for Harry James and then there Are the potholes. They Are the size of Lake Huron the first time my Friend Mike drove in ., he assumed the intricate system of potholes were put in to defend the Capitol. In 1990, 85 percent of the missing persons cases in , were solved by looking in the potholes. The great archaeological find of the 23rd Century will come when they finally repave Pennsylvania Avenue and find a Fleet of fully preserved Chevy Novas and am gremlins with their Drivers still in them. But there Are ways to prevent so Many accidents in Washington. One is to help the cab Drivers by printing the Road signs in languages they know like afghan and gabonese. Another is to remind motorists they re supposed to actually Stop at a red Light. Drivers in big cities pay no attention to red lights anymore. The Vogue thing now is to make left turns on red just for the hell of it. Another is to suggest that Drivers simply resolve to Brake before stopping. So Many Drivers seem to prefer to Stop their momentum by crashing into the car in front of them. Or everyone could drive to North Dakota. Creators Syndicate Page 18 a sunday March 8. 1992