European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - March 15, 1992, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Odds amp ends miss m i is Judith Martin dear miss manners when my Roommate and i Are out in Public or at parties she is often asked a what do you do a by people we meet. She finds this annoying and thinks it is rude to ask Peoples occupations when one meets them. I think it is a Normal part of getting to know someone and done to find it rude at All. What do you think gentle Mcaden As a matter of fact it is rude to ask Peoples occupations when one is out socially. It would be preferable to probe strangers about their interests and allow them to mention occupations or hobbies As they choose. But at the risk of disappointing your Roommate miss manners is not going to join the fight against this now extremely common practice. Jobs by no Means define the individual but asking about them strikes miss manners As less snobbish than the More traditional a who Are your people a sort of query that Job interest has replaced. Dear miss manners my Fiance will be taking my name when we get married. I am in a quandary about How others should address formal invitations or give formal introductions. Given our social Circle this will be a rare occurrence and i suppose it is not really my problem As i wont be addressing the invitations but the question remains. It seems that we should be addressed As mrs. And or. Caroline Addington As my parents Are addressed As or. And mrs. Walter Addington. Is this Correct will i Ever by considered a mrs.? though As you have probably guessed i prefer ms., i would like to know what is proper. The main reason is that it is important to me that i keep my name while it is important to him that we and our future children have the same name. But it is also to some extent a political statement in that it is meant to encourage people to question their assumptions of which gender should do what. Usually we Are quite Happy to explain but some Moko scrim s Pisces feb. 19-March 20 if there is any creative writing you be been wanting to do now is the time. Aries March 21-april 19 pay close attention to communications. Any misunderstandings can affect you for weeks to come. Taurus april 20-May 20 that Hill you be been climbing starts to level out. Keep going. The grass gets Greener. Gemini May 21-june 20 the time is right for a big payoff. Don t bile off More than you can Chew. Cancer june 21-july 22. Relationships Are up for review. People will come and go out of your life. Leo july 23-aug. 22 when it appears you be reached the end of your rope your family is there to tie another knot. Virgo aug. 23-sept. 22 you can clearly see the obstacles in your Way. Do whatever it takes to surmount them. Libra sept 23-oct. 22 the subjective half times it docs get tiresome. Are we under some obligation to provide a detailed explanation because one of our motives is political or could we simply reply a Why not a and leave it at that on the wedding invitations my parents Are sending out i would prefer to be referred to formally As is. Caroline Mary Addington. Would this be anathema less important must i use my Middle name which i never use otherwise gentle Reader miss manners is relieved that you prefer  As you must be that she considers it the honorific of Choice when the traditional use of  which is Only with the husbands name a never with the woman a first name no matter what the surname or How dissolved the marriage is inappropriate. A mrs. And or. Caroline Addington just does no to quite do. Miss manners is As open minded As your husband to be about his using your name but it seems unfair to employ a construction that will however illogically and unfairly expose him to ridicule. You should be is. Caroline Addington and second line of address on envelope or. Keith Addington. If no first names Are used you could be simply or. And is. Addington or even or. And mrs. The idea is not to Analyse too exactly whose name it is a after the wedding it will be both of yours a but to avoid confusing people by meddling unnecessarily with tradition. Speaking of confusion miss manners begs you to let your friends know How you wish to be addressed. Done to make it too much work to be your Friend. If you must have your full name on the invitation even though the use of your parents names makes it unnecessary miss manners will not object. Nor do you have to have your Middle name although it is your formal name and this is a formal occasion. However the Best Way to announce your preference is to have a at Home cards the ones used to inform people when the couple would return from their wedding trip and be prepared to re enter society As a couple made with your formal names in two lines As miss manners explained. Clever friends will tuck these in their address books. It is not Only not your duty to propagandize for this decision other than by merely setting a quiet example but it would be socially tedious. Miss manners thinks that a Why not a is a very Good answer indeed to All inquiries and will in fact make your reasoning obvious to anyone who cares to think about it. United feature synd Cato of a yearly Cycle is coming to an end. Prepare to go Forth. Scorpio oct. 23-nov, 21 romantic feelings Are activated. It could be the love of a person place or thing. Sagittarius nov. 22-dec, 20 make the most out of this week with forethought and careful planning. Capricorn dec. 21-Jan. 19 reconcile with those who oppose your views. Sometimes it s better to give in. Aquarius Jan. 20-feb. 18 you wrote the Book on networking now read it. Contacts made this week Are instrumental. Copley news service the moves West bring up memories of the South Cindy Chambers my Friend Dixie is moving away. I  be surprised since everyone we know is posing this month. It has gotten so bad in Schweinfurt Germany that folks who Are leaving can to find anyone to give their partially used condiments to. The same crusty bottle of Ketchup has been passed from family to family the past six months. Surely i should be used to the ugly realities of moving by now. But seeing Dixie move away is hard. Not Only is she the kind of person who does no to close her living room draperies providing those of us who live across the Street with hours of family entertainment she is a As her name so subtly implies a a southerner. And that makes her special in my Book. I did no to always feel that Way. When my husband got orders for Kentucky eight years ago i was filled with dread. Wasny to that where Granny Clampett came from the place where people said things like a a ainu to Yak la fixing to holler for Beauregard a at the drop of a hat and even though we knew the South was going to be different we did no to realize How different. For instance we did no to know that All males and females Over the age of 16 Are called a a sir and a a May am there. Where wed come from you had to be at least 80 years old to be addressed that Way. Consequently the first time someone called me May am a and i Hadnot been in Kentucky More than five minutes a i cried for three Days straight. Things improved rapidly after that and not because i divorced my husband either. I found southerners to be warm Friendly and Only occasionally obsessed with a War that took place 130 years ago. Over time i Learned to use terms like a directly Quot meaning a a Nevera a antebellum literally a before the Bellum Quot and a chit twins Quot a pig parts routinely rejected by landfills in conversation. I Learned to live with humidity that never went Down Only up. And i Learned to love the soft talking caring people known As southerners. So it was great to have Dixie across the Street. Then the movers came fortunately we have wonderful memories of Dixie. Memories a and a crusty bottle of Ketchup a both of which i have a feeling Are destined to last forever. A Cindy Chambers is a military family member in Schweinfurt Germany. A a correction Cindy Chambers name and photo erroneously ran atop Erma bom Becky a column in this space last  k 11m i \ i7what stars earned 1. Fatty Arbuckle Keystone cops a $3 per Day 2. Sylvester Stallone lords of Flatbush a 25 to shirts 3. Madonna a certain feeling a $100 4. Steve Mcqueen the Blob a $3,000 5. Frank Sinatra from Here to eternity a $8,000 6. Dustin Hoffman the graduate a $17,000 source world features Syndicate Page 8 a sunday March 15, 1992