European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - May 10, 1992, Darmstadt, Hesse Sidelights other a Day has a habit of rising from ashes Cindy Chambers something weird happens to a woman when she becomes a Mother. I mean besides the fact that her Rump gets wider than the Back of a hmm we. It has to do with sentiment and it has to do with endurance and it has to do More than anything with ashtrays. Yes ashtrays. The same ones that have been lovingly made and proudly presented to every nonsmoking Mother since time immemorial. Because these ashtrays a half of which would actually burst into flames if a soldering match came within five feet of them a Are symbolic of the True meaning of mothers Day. Cave pictures indicate that primitive gifts like ashtrays figured prominently in even the earliest mothers Day celebrations. Of course it was easier to find the perfect primitive gift Back then. In those Days almost everything was primitive. You walk 10 feet without bumping into something primitive. So the prehistoric kid could easily present his prehistoric mom with something absolutely ghastly something primitive even by primitive standards and the Cave mom would smile and say a ooh Honey what a great. Us a and the Cave kid would say a ashtray Quot then the Cave mom would really be confused because fire Hadnot been invented yet let alone ashes. But she would never let on because that a what mothers Day is All about. This enduring spirit is alive and Well today As evidenced by my Friend Nancy a traditional mothers Day experience. Although Nancy a two teen aged daughters Are several years beyond the ashtray stage they be managed to capture that primitive feeling by serving her the dreaded annual breakfast in bed. A ooh its awful a Nancy explained. Quot last year i had Comet Flavoured Coffee because that a what the girls scrubbed the Coffee maker with. The Toast was soggy and the scrambled eggs were Runny. Plus they got up at 4 . To fix everything so by the time 1 woke up it was Stone a Why done to you just ask them to Stop making you breakfast in bed a 1 asked. A Are you kidding Quot she said. A a it a the most wonderful meal of the year a besides a she added conspiratorially a if they weren to fixing me breakfast in bed they a probably be making me More our prehistoric ancestors would be proud. As for me Well in a not sure what in a getting for mothers Day. My 3-Ycar-old hinted however that its something a around and red and and in a already prepared to love this thing even though it sounds suspiciously like either an ashtray or Chicken pox because that my friends is what mothers Day is All about. Cindy Chambers is a military family member in Schwelm Turt Gorman facing the heat amid a firestorm from angry India Sandy Rooney it seems As if All but a few of the 2 million american indians have written me angry letters after i said their complaints about the use of nicknames for teams like redskins and braves were silly. When so Many people complain about one thing you have to assume you May have been wrong. I said american indians were never subjected to the same kind of second class treatment that american Blacks were. Dawn Thomas of Depere wis., says a a you re right we never had to sit in the Back of the bus. We weren to allowed into a when i was Young a writes Nora dial Stanley of the lumber nation in North Carolina a those Indian nicknames sent me Home in Thomas also comments on my remarks about superstitions and meaningless Indian religious ceremonies. What indians need she said Are a some Good old civilized White traditions like circumcision and drinking blood at a great Many letters said that calling a team a a redskins was the same As calling a team a a niggers or i do not think that is True. Stephen Kenney of Rensselaerville n.y., disagrees. He says that he grew up with Seneca indians and in his youth the terms a a Nigger and a a skin were Sommers of Minneapolis writes a thoughtful letter. A out of Basic respect to people a she says a we Call them names they in my column i wrote no one wanted to Force another religion on the indians. I was presented with a lot of evidence that Force was used by missionaries to convert indians to christianity. Larry Uloth of Saginaw mich., says a was for Alco the redskins pain indians no matter How much players such As Wilber Marshall and Matt Millen excite . Holism the indians did no to have the problem until the first irishman gave them the lets not get personal Larry. Derek Lowry of Greensboro n.c., writes to complain about using someone dressed up As an Indian As a Mascot at a football game. He asks How christians would like it if the situation was reversed a and everyone dressed up like Jesus and did the wave and then walked on touche Derek. Several letters complained that i suggested indians were Savages when i wrote a we know indians shot flaming arrows into the Stagecoach carrying the new lighten up letter writers. I was poking fun not at indians but at Hollywood movie makers. Many of the letters said indians were not As materialistic As other americans. A was american indians a says Patricia Pappas of Sterling Heights mich., a we strive to be United and want happiness. We done to Pray for new cars and better Judith Kubish from the archdiocese of Milwaukee says i perpetuated a a simplistic non contextual a historical perspective on native american social i Hadnot realized i perpetuated All that. A i would seek the removal of Andy Rooney As a syndicated columnist a she says in a letter to my editor and demands a a written a great Many writers must have read a Good Hook called Indian givers by a professor named Jack Weatherford because they ail use the information from it about How much of the food like potatoes and Corn that we eat was developed by Indian Farmers. In his Book Weatherford Calls indians a the worlds greatest in reference to my statement that a there Are no great american Indian novels a almost every letter mentioned n. Scott Momaday who won the pulitzer prize. I said there was no memorable Indian music. Suzan shown Harjo writes that a the contributions of Jesse de Davis to Rock and Roll. Are significant and All the letters referred not to a a indians but to a native the indians were not native to America but their ancestors did arrive Here 10,000 years before the europeans. Tribune Media services Andy Rooney is a Armor stars and stripes Rop Ortor May 10, 1992 sunday a Page 9
