European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - May 10, 1992, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Last laugh falling bread in the Home is on the Rise Dave Barry today a career question is should you work at Home working at Home is an idea that is appealing to More and More people such As George Bush. One Day he got sick and tired of constant foreign travel and said Quot Barbara in a going to put a desk and a phone in the Oval office and just stay Home and veto  other famous people who work at Home Are Queen Elizabeth ii and the american Farmer. The Home is not the Ideal place to do certain types of jobs such As coat mining. But Many modern employers Are willing to be flexible. The Ford motor company for example recently started a Pilot program under which employees who Don t want to leave their preschool children May elect to build Taurus station wagons in their Homes. Of there have been problems. Some cars  Start because of what was later diagnosed As play Doh in the cylinders. But most employers Are willing to Overlook such drawbacks because studies show that the average corporation actually saves Money when employees stay Home inasmuch As when they come to work they spend the bulk of the time stealing office supplies and faxing jokes to International subsidiaries. The real beneficiaries of the work at Home trend Are employees. I work at Home and i have found that this arrangement has a tremendous potential for personal growth because nobody will notice if you eat As Many As 20 lunches per Day. Plus you have no incentive to take showers which results in personal growths in your armpits which tends to limit your social life. If you have dogs which i do you find yourself talking to them a lot not in a condescending manner but As equals. Eventually you abandon per Sonal Hygiene altogether and degenerate into a primitive life form living in your underwear and Licking Check Whiz directly out of the Jar. When delivery people come you bark and try to sniff their privates. But you can get a lot done at Home. The key for me in terms of productivity has been my personal computer which can be linked electronically via Telephone lines to the newspaper. This Means that when i have a column due i merely press a few keys and within seconds thanks to the Miracle of modern microchip technology 1 am playing "f-117a stealth  this would not be possible if i did not work at Home. There Are drawbacks. The one that has probably already occurred to you is that if you work at Home you could be killed by a Large Lump of bread dough falling from the sky. This danger was made chillingly Clear to me recently when several Alert readers mailed me an associated press report from Bellingham wash., stating that "20 pounds of White bread dough somehow fell from the sky and crashed onto the roof of Doug and Paula  i am not making this report up. The dough landed on the wards Home on St. Patrick a Day with what Doug Ward described As a a horrendous crash like a sonic Boom a 1 spoke with Paula Ward by phone a couple of weeks after the incident and she said it remains a mystery. Quot an astronomer took a Sample and he said it was just regular bread dough a she said. A the religious people think it was a sign from god because you know in the Bible god dropped manna. But it. Does no to look like religious dough to me. We still have it and it Hasni to risen yet. Its looking kind of  one possible explanation is that alien beings from the planet of bad nutrition Are flying Over in f-117a stealth saucers and dropping unhealthy foods on Peoples Homes starting with White bread and escalating to ring dings slim jims and a if they Are truly evil a Lucky charms breakfast Cereal. But Paula Ward has a More chilling theory involving another alien life form one that is even More menacing to human civilization. Quot i think its College students a she said. Quot we live right near a Campus Western Washington University. I think they figured out a Way to launch  and people have the Gall to say that our educational system is not getting the Job done. Anyway it appears that this is an isolated Case which should not be blown out of proportion. The truth is that if you work at Home the chances Are less than one in two that you will Ever be killed by any form of High Speed baking ingredient. The worst that a Likely to happen is that being alone All Day you might find yourself Riding weird trains of thought. Believe me when i Tell you this. The Miami Herald . Military life in Europe by Charles Kaufman things in Europe that irritate me Why is it that an radio makes the hour tone so loud a Page 28 a sunday May 10, 1992