European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - November 8, 1992, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Cover Story. A a a Happy wit Homework from the cover never stops Quot said Covington 36, of working life in the nations capital. Quot it was just too much. There was t time for a child there Wasny to time for a husband there was t Lime for  so in a step that 10 years ago might have been dubbed surrender by battling feminists Covington traded her full time Job with the defense department for the full time Job of motherhood. Quot it was the right thing to do in our situation Quot said Covington who lives in Lens Belgium where Steve works at the Headquarters for Allied come Europe. She plans to return to the workplace when their 3-year-old son Ryan joins his brother Brett 8, in school. Like Covington More and More women Are rejecting the superwoman Model of the �?T80s and electing to put their careers on hold at least while their children Are Young. Others say they would like to but financial need locks them into the workplace. Polls have been showing that More than half of employed mothers say that if they could afford to they  work said Ellen Galinsky co president of the families and work Institute in new York City. Statistics also revealed that the number of working mothers in the United states levelled last year for the first Lime in Many years although Galinsky noted that it is unclear whether the trend reflects a changed attitude among women or the effects of the recession. Society is not very accommodating of employees who try to juggle work and family responsibilities said Galinsky whose research Institute acts As a Clearinghouse for information on work family issues. A the surveys that we have been doing for a Good 10 years show the majority of people men and women have a lot of difficulty balancing work and family life and i think people Are beginning to feel that the costs Arentt Worth it a Galinsky said. Magazine polls and other such surveys indicate that employed mothers feel More uneasy about their situation than do at Home mothers Galinsky said. She noted that her organization is conducting a More scientific study on the question. The motherhood report a 1985 Survey of 1,100 mothers across the country showed that Quot the vast majority 70 percent of All homemakers experienced Little or no conflict about their Rote As full time  fifty five percent of employed mothers however Quot experienced moderate to very Strong conflict about the fact that they had to leave their children every Day to go to  such factors As rigid work schedules last minute overtime demands and a supportive supervisors who Don t recognize personal requirements such As a worker s need to occasionally visit the Bank during office hours have caused working parents to reassess the costs Galinsky said Jane Covington called it a Quot Quality of life question for her family. Even sharing the double duty of outside work and parenthood equally she and Steve found themselves exhausted from working straight through until bedtime on weekdays and spending entire weekends on projects around the House. Quot you do have Money you do have a profession but you re too tired to enjoy it a she said. The latest polls show that men pick up about 30 percent of the household work Load in families where both spouses work. Quot men Are doing More but its a Small increment Jane Covington with sons Brett left and Ryan. More Quot said Galinsky who co authored the Book the preschool years. Those whose educational backgrounds or earnings Are comparable to their wives tend to pitch in the most. The wife has to want his help too and be willing to accept the husbands methods of accomplishing chores Galinsky said. Maureen Campbell a licensed Counselor currently teaching parenting classes in Heidelberg Germany said she too has noticed a movement from career to full time motherhood. Quot i m finding that a lot of women Are choosing to stay at Home while the children Are Small and these Are College educated Well trained women a Campbell said. Campbell pointed to her daughter and daughter in Law one a teacher the other a certified Public accountant. Quot they loved working but they love this just As much a she said. Quot they know when the children get into school they intend to go Back to work so it s something to look Forward to and not something that they be been Cut off  while an increasing number of employers Are developing Quot family Friendly programs that involve child care most do not offer the kind of time and leave flexibility that parents want Galinsky said. Quot what would really help would be More flexibility in the workplace More support in the workplace the ability to move in and out of full time work without a real Cost to your career a Galinsky said lots of people do take the plunge and give up their paychecks but once they do Quot there Are no easy routes Back into the labor Force a the family leave Bill vetoed last month by president Bush would have been Quot a Good Start a Galinsky said. The Bill would have required businesses with More than 50 employees to give people unpaid time off to care for babies or ill family members. Former Pentagon analyst Covington said her old Job lacked flexibility. Quot you could change your working hours somewhat a she said. A go to work at 7 and get off at 3 30, for example but regardless of what hour you worked you still were away from your child away from Home for about 11 hours a Day with commuting time a according to a report by the population reference Bureau More than half of All mothers with preschool children held jobs outside the Home in 1991, More and More businesses Are opening on site Day care centers. Quot it s an economic reality these Days that women do have to work a Covington said. Quot we be been fortunate that i have not had to work for financial  Heidelberg s Campbell commends those women who have the desire and capacity to do it All. "1 appreciate women who Are gifted and killed who want to work outside the Home Quot Campbell said. Not everyone however is so understanding of the women s choices As evidenced by this years presidential race with its family values one up Manship. Republicans held up homemaker firster Barbara Bush and Marilyn Quayle As models of How women should be and scorned Hillary Clinton wife of democratic challenger Bill Clinton for her decision to work outside the Home. Galinsky said the political wrangling Over family values aggravated tension that already exists Over the subject. Quot i still hear constantly in neighbourhoods across the country that there s tension Between the employed mothers and the mothers who Are at Home and that people feel put Down by their choices a said Galinsky who gathers data in meetings with randomly selected groups of people called focus groups. Mothers in the workforce believe that people look Down on them for missing the important moments in their children s lives Galinsky said. At the same time mothers at Home feel employed mothers look Down on them Quot for Mother smother for talking Mickey mouse for being unprepared in the event that you got divorced for not keeping your Finger in door in terms of your  As an army chaplain s wife who has done much of her counselling in a Church environment Campbell said she is particularly bothered by members of the religious right who contend unwaveringly that a woman a place is in the Home. A i think we re too judgmental on that aspect of it Quot said Campbell a Southern Baptist. Quot i Don t think we should sit Back and say this is what you should do. A we done to know what s going on in that family. We Don t know if the Mother needs to work just to keep the unit together or if the is especially gifted in some Way and feels that this is How she is  while Job fulfilment for homemakers does no to come in the form of promotions performance reviews or raises Campbell said she finds Quot a great Deal of satisfaction among women who work inside the Home. However their fulfilment must come from within themselves and from their families because society still fails to applaud the efforts of homemakers Campbell said. We As a society Don t really respect nurturing and caregiving Galinsky said Quot we Don t pay teachers Well. We Don t respect people who Are caring for children very  Galinsky offers the example of a cocktail party where a woman introduces herself As a Mother Only to see people Back away and say to themselves Quot i m going to go find someone interesting to talk to a Covington said she has not personally had such an experience. She added however that the homemaker s attitude toward staying Home will influence the Way people react to her. If you feel Confidence in your decision to stay Home. That a reflected in the Way that you  Page 4 a sunday november 8. 1992