European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - November 15, 1992, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Dear miss manners i understand Why business letters and thank you letters must be written on White writing paper but is it improper to write a personal letter on Quot cute Quot stationery i have several different kinds of paper and write numerous personal letters every week. Gentle Reader. Writing personal letters to people who have the same sense of cute As you do is exactly the purpose for which cute writing paper was invented a that and doing shopping lists on the Back of it. Just make sure the cuteness Isnit in conflict with the body of the letter. Miss manners recently received a very gracious note that a gentle Reader had written on yellow paper on the top of each Page of which was printed Quot in a mad As hell and in a not going to take it anymore a this left her puzzled. She thought that Quot any More required two words. Dear miss manners my Mother gave me what is left of my grandmothers Beautiful Silver service which even has her initials properly engraved on the Back. However the service is incomplete. I am getting married and instead of starting my own new Silver pattern i would like to use my grandmothers service simply filling in the missing pieces. If this is acceptable do i then have my own initials engraved on the new pieces or my grandmothers so they will match or none at All gentle Reader As you see the Charm of inherited Silver the Only Correct kind of Silver to aquire according to people whose ancestors were kind enough to do their shopping for them let us look ahead to the Day when your granddaughter assembles her Trousseau. Proudly going Over the Silver she has inherited she explains to her Fiance that it had belonged to her great great grandmother whose initials Are engraved on the backs. It just so happens that he is curator of american artefacts at a Well known museum and is Able to discover that your grandmother lived for 150 years buying Silver As she went. You get left out of the Story entirely. The moral Here is that you do not falsify tradition in order to preserve it. Put your own initials on the pieces you aquire. Dear miss manners i was dining in a local restaurant where i have been going for years when a male stripper appeared during one of those now omnipresent birthday celebrations at an adjoining table. He began to dance and move in an obscene manner. I was informed by a delighted observer that the Young Man would soon strip Down to his a string. Appalled by the whole business i left having first explained my reasons to my companions. On the Way out i told the Headwater that i did not intend to pay my portion of the Bill since i had neither expected nor desired this show. A follow up Call to the management revealed that my companions had not Only paid my share but also had apologized for my behaviour. Several people i have since spoken with Tell me that the appearance of a male stripper is becoming a common practice. Please advise on the appropriate response for unwary customers. Gentle Reader unwary customer did just Fine it seems to miss manners. It is unwary customers friends and restaurant cur who sinned a not by enjoying a stripper but by refusing to allow you to decline gracefully to do so. When tolerance is expected for practices that offend people it seems to miss manners Only fair to extend tolerance to those who done to want to witness such practices. Your friends and the manager were not willing to do this. Bullying everyone into accepting a Low Standard is not the answer. When manners a which require not subjecting others to ones own Low taste a fail people next turn to the Law hoping to outlaw practices they done to approve. Rather than the quiet dignity you exhibited in leaving things get Nasty and repressive amazingly quickly. If the restaurant is not clearly one where strippers entertain the party hiring one should have been required to take a private room. United feature Syndicate utmost on s Scorpio oct. 23-nov. 21 learn from each experience and Don t take everything so seriously. Lighten up Sagittarius nov. 22-dec. 20 review the past year in your mind s eyes. Clear the decks for new adventure and change. Capricorn dec. 21-Jan. 19 self discipline is the missing link. Make a plan of action and stick to it. Aquarius Jan. 20-feb. 18 express your ideas in an open forum. Speak now or forever hold your peace. Pisces feb. 19-March 20 any investments made will show definite Promise. But be prepared to wait awhile. Aries March 21-april 19 have no fear. When you Are sure of yourself it leads to heaping Success. Taurus april 20-May 20 put your nose to the Grindstone and work through your present dilemma. It s the Only  May 21-june 20 there s Nosuch thing As a sure Winner. In speculative endeavours apply this Rule accordingly cancer june 21-july 22 you re walled in Between family duties and relationship demands. Find escape in the Middle. Leo july 23-aug. 22 creativity is your key word. Do something that is a True expression of who you Are. Virgo aug. 23-sept. 22 your budget wont support unnecessary spending. Wait for a less stressed financial period. Libra sept. 23-oct. 22 gaining weight is the result of Over indulging yourself. Watch your Waistline and practice moderation. Copley news service right upbringing makes sure you done to miss manners Erma b0mbeck i done to know miss manners personally but she is a voice in the wilderness crying out to an audience that can to hear her because it has never been taught to be quiet while someone else is talking. Courtesy and civility have become As obsolete in our society As Carbon paper and Coal. Television commercials feature disgusting diners who stuff fajitas in their Mouths and Start talking. Cereal eaters shovel spoonfuls of Cereal in their Mouths As the milk drips Down their chins. Good manners behind the wheel of a car Are rare moments indeed. I witnessed a scene one afternoon in which a car passed another one whose Driver became so incensed he increased his Speed and tailgate him. As he passed he swerved like he was going to hit him and used the Only limited vocabulary at his disposal Finger signals. When i told the Story someone said a the was Lucky he did no to get  i Haven to finished with my kids yet. They still need work. Its an ongoing Challenge. In a still teaching manners. I used to have nightmares that As my son was receiving the Nobel prize for literature i would crawl onto the stage on my hands and Knees and tug at his Pant leg and whisper Quot now what do you say to the Nice Man a a and he would say a ooh yeah  the social Grace that seems to have disappeared from the Earth is the thank you note. In be been tempted from time to time to Call up a graduate for whom i have sprung $30 for a pen and say a forgive me i thought you knew what a pen was for. Now i see it is useless. Please return it along with the card. Ill read it to  something has to happen before children can be taught Good manners. Their parents have to know what they Are before they Are Able to teach them. Anyone who talks during a movie or hums the overture to a musical should be forced to go to manners school or have his Drivers License revoked. People who dial the wrong phone number and instead of apologizing or checking the number hang up in your ear should do two years of Community service in a child care facility. People who Park in handicapped spots when they re not handicapped or fire lanes or areas that Block the flow of traffic should be put away. For those of you who have read this far i thank you. For those who Are nodding and saying Quot Isnit that the truth a i say a a you re  Universal press Syndicate no m 1 1 1 \ How to change your lift expectancy 1. Get married add 5 years 2. Eat balanced diet a add 4 years 3. Live in a City a subtract 2 years 4. Live in a Small town a add 2 years 5. Exercise regularly a add 3 years 6. Get regular checkups a add 3 years 7. Smoke one pack of cigarettes daily a subtract 3 years Reader digest association Page 10 a sunday november 15. 1992