European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - December 20, 1992, Darmstadt, Hesse Miss manners Judith Martin dear miss manners i am a Blind 33-Ycar-old, single male and in the course of my daily activities i find myself in the company of single eligible women my age. When i am not using my guide dog i use the sighted guide technique for walking with a companion i lightly hold her left Elbow and walk alongside her. For whatever reason and without letting my ego and self esteem enter her these women Are Overly concerned that the appearance we Are conveying to society is that we Are an item or couple. I would be lying if i said that this did no to Hurt but i know that it is not my problem. They will go out of their Way to make it known that they just drove me there or that we arc Only neighbors or casual acquaintances when in reality we have known each other in some instances for two years and All along i thought we were quite close and beyond labels. It must be the incredibly intimate position of my holding their Arm that makes them uncomfortable. What is amusing is that Only twice has anyone assumed that we were a couple and even then they were complimenting us on what a cute couple we made. I can t help wondering Why these women think i would want people to believe we were anything More than just what we Are two friends sharing an experience. Is there something i can do say or Wear to indicate that we Are not romantically linked or attached gentle Reader if taking an Arm is your friends idea of an Quot incredibly intimate Street posture their Powers of observation Are so poor that perhaps you should not Trust yourself to their guidance. There is a great Deal More intimacy going on nowadays on the streets beyond the polite gesture a whether actually helpful or symbolic a of taking someone sarm. It would be As rude of you to announce your Lack of romantic interest in them As it is for them to do so to you. But As they arc your friends you ought to be aide to tease them Good Nat redly. You know better than miss manners what would make the Point to each one without being hurtful but she can imagine something along the lines of your getting in first with someone who has been known to disclaim Romance by exclaiming to the person you meet a thank goodness you came along. I done to know Thijs woman and she just appeared from nowhere and grabbed me or a you probably recognize her announcement As a cry for help a in Fth actually holding her against her will but she a too terrified to Tell dear mias manners i want to word my wedding invitations so As to include the women a names in an acceptable Way without bowing Down too much to tradition. It is important to me that women Are not referred to As a mrs. His name first and Las because i believe that such wording no matter How formal implies not Only that married woman Are unequal to their husbands but also that married women Are not important in their own right a that their identities Are subsumed by the identity of the husband. I am thinking of having the names of my parents and stepparents at the top As a Madam Ray and Sharon magnum with John Wesley and Susan Hearn i would prefer not to use the phrase Quot the parents of As a Way of avoiding the Issue because All of the people to be mentioned on the invitation Are important to me will be paying substantially for the wedding and deserve to have their full names acknowledged. How do i maintain my convictions give credit where credit is due and not have my invitation look like a Page from a phone Book gentle Reader please allow miss manners gently to suggest that before one attempts to improve upon tradition perhaps one should find out what that tradition is. Two Points that you seem to have missed Are that honorific Are used on formal invitations but a parents of is not and that people should be consulted about How they wish to style themselves. Never mind your arguments about How you think other people should be addressed unless the ladies in question agree with them. If they do the Correct formal honorific before their full names is if they do not you should use a emr. And in so personal a matter As a name your convictions do not apply to people who do not share them. And never mind about whether your invitation looks like a Telephone Book. It is not overwhelming to have four people acting As hosts but even if it were the invitation would simply reflect the fact that they arc the hosts although How much Money each one is kicking in has nothing to do with i United feature Syndicate horoscopes Sagittarius nov. 22-dec. 20 a Money Cycle is coming to an end. Be open to new sources of income and investment. Capricorn dec. 21-Jan 19 self esteem could use a boost. Treat yourself Well and others follow suit. Aquarius Jan. 20-feb. 18 escape from the maddening crowd. Your opinions Are All that matter now be selective. Pisces feb. 19-March 20 take the advice of friends under consideration. Their objectivity gives a new perspective. Aries March 21-april 19 a lot of enthusiasm for professional matters denotes the time is not right. Collect data. Taurus april 20-May 20 an Alliance can turn passionate keep your head to discern hidden motivations. Gemini May 21-june 20 lessons in patience Are inevitable. You cannot push the clock. Chill out. Cancer june 21-july 22 partners and loved ones Are draining. Take time to renew yourself in quiet moments. A Leo july 23-aug. 22 watch your health As Job stress contributes to Low vitality. Walk with a co worker at lunch. Virgo aug. 23-sept. 22 a love interest has a slow Start. Done to Rush it and you la be pleasantly surprised. Libra sept. 23-oct. 22 revise the Domestic emotional scene. Serenity is a result of inner peace. Scorpio oct. 23-nov. 21 use phone mail and fax to let others know where you stand. Clean out old files. Copley news service hark a smile in the packed Holiday Post office Erma Bombeck need a shot of optimism to get you through the holidays most of us have never seen anyone smile in a Post office. Its like a clinic for Tower Back pain. Well i was in line yesterday when the door opened and in walked a smiling lady weighted Down with boxes for mailing. She held the door open for her three Little girls who filed in each one carrying a package. She bounded Over to a Man standing by a counter pasting on Stamps and asked a Are you a Carrier a a of what a he snapped. Another one in line said a to the Back of the line lady a her eyes fairly danced with excitement As she announced to no one in particular a it certainly is a Nice Day and just think girls Christmas is Only a week a will Granddad get his presents a asked one child. A of course he will a said her Mother. A on Christmas eve hell be sitting around the fire the Doorbell will ring and a postman will Knock on the door and say with a big smile a merry Christmas from your family in a every Eye in the Post office turned to stare at this Cross Between Mary Poppins and tiny Tim. Granddad would be Lucky to get those packages before Bill Clinton takes office. Finally she got to the head of the line. A when will dad get these packages a she asked. The postman shrugged. A depends. Maybe by new years a or we could get Mem there in one a one Day would be wonderful a a it la Cost you a he said scribbling Down some figures. �?o$4.5.83.�?� the woman hesitated then picked out one Box and said a this one must get there by Christmas Day its my fathers the clerk Shook his head and said a this Guys a loser. Imagine having a birthday on Christmas. One present fits All thank god i done to know of anyone born on Christmas the Man behind me whispered loudly a thank god i there were smiles yesterday in the Post office. Universal press Syndicate Erma Bombeck is on vacation. A version of this column originally appeared in december 19b0.no my i in ,7revolutionary facts on the revolutionary War 1. British soldiers a ponytails required 2. Urgent messages a took eight weeks to Cross Ocean 3. Declaration of Independence a on july 2, 1776 4. Liberty Bell a actually a duplicate 5. Original Yankee Doodle a author British 6. Number killed in Boston a a massacre a five world features Syndicate age 10 a sunday december 20. 1992
