European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - January 3, 1993, Darmstadt, Hesse 5h i v a a a Odds amp he / miss Mann is Judith Martin dear miss manners i gave a cocktail party and the Day after starting at 8 15 a.m., if you can believe that my guests began calling to say what a Lovely party it had been and How much they enjoyed themselves. They had All thanked me upon their departure the previous evening. And As 1 live alone and had a heavy schedule the next Day it was truly an interruption to have to answer the phone and listen All Over again to Quot thank you so much we enjoyed it Alt a Etc., Etc. L Lynow it was Courtesy and thoughtfulness that prompted their Calls but honestly i wish they had not bothered. Perhaps 100years ago ladies drove by in their carriages and left a card on Quot the hostess the Day after a festivity. Perhaps 50 years ago ladies might have sent around a very Brief Handwritten line or two mailing it if they were not within a Short neighbor Hood walk. Perhaps these telephoned thanks have taken the place of the earlier niceties and perhaps Ven you approve and wont want to discourage the practice however i think it ought to be pointed out delicately that often it becomes a genuine nuisance and it really is not necessary. Is Nola reactors did you have too Good a time at your own party and Are you feeling a bit ill disposed today j miss manners is very sorry but do you really expect her in this season of All times to join your Little crusade of discouraging people from offering thanks would you like to expand it and Tell children not to trouble their grandparents with thanks for presents do you have any idea How Many people accept hospitality nowadays with no thought of performing any of the duties of guests such As answering invitations thanking their hosts and later reciprocating by inviting them to parties As you say telephoned thanks when they Are offered do often take the place of practices of the past a although the last time miss manners checked the mail was still available for the transmission of More properly expressed written thanks. But each custom blessedly comes with Protection for the exhausted hostess when cards were left it was upon people who had a servant to accept them with the conventional not literal explanation that Madam was not at Home. With the Telephone we have the answering machine which similarly takes the message without bothering the hostess. You Are in sore need of that answering machine. Miss manners is sure that you will be delighted to listen to the accumulated Praise for your kindness once your head clears. Dear miss Mann Rii at christmastime my husband and i enjoy receiving gifts for our daughter but my in Laws insist on giving another present to my husband and me which really embarrasses me. In my family everyone older than 16 was Quot too grown for a Holiday gift and was taught to enjoy the spirit of the season not the material accompaniments. I be tried to explain How uncomfortable this is for me but it has made matters much worse. They now r quite literally Shower my husband and daughter with in t there some age when this nonsense should Stop or am i being a Scrooge As my husband tells me a is Nola Readen miss manners is not sure it Isnit or. Scrooge who needs defending in this compari. Son. He was bad enough but you seem to have car tied his idea further by Labelling As Quot nonsense the obviously kind intentions of your husband s family toward you and by suggesting that they Are materialistic because their family custom differs from your family custom. Quot a limiting the present giving to children is a Fine idea but it is less common than the presents for All tradition. That your family knows and practices this is not an excuse far you to sneer at people who done to. A dear miss manners at a luncheon i noticed that several people called or. Nixon Quot president i m sure there Are people who would like to Knny the Correct Way to address an sex president is Nola readers the Rule is that there is Only one president of the United states at a time therefore the title does not accompany anyone out of office. A a a a a so Why do we seem to have so Many or. Presidents running around miss manners imagines that citizens so address them in error from an excess of respect which she cannot find it in her heart to condemn. But it is a Fine Point of respect to realize that people who have held this office May actually prefer to follow the example of Gen. Washington or or. Jefferson As they were known in retirement and be honoured with less pomp rather than More. A United feature Syndicate horoscopes Capricorn dec 21-Jan 19 the fantasy you be been living is tested by reality. Come Down from the Clouds. Aquarius Jan. 20-feb 18 put a bad habit behind you and go on with life. Reward yourself for having the courage. Pisces feb. 19-March 20 no matter what let Freedom ring. Be yourself and Don t allow friends to Sway you. Aries March 21-april 19 this is a Low Energy period for you. Force yourself to take it easy and relax. Taurus april 20-May 20l<travel is Foremost on your mind. Hit the Road with your Toothbrush and a song. A gemini May 21-june 20. Balance your Check Book. There a Comfort in knowing exactly How much you have in the Bank. Cancer june 21 july 22 add a personal touch to a card for a loved one. Your creativity is appreciated. Leo july 23-aug. 22 keep your spirits High and Don t get bogged Down by limitations. This too shall pass. _ Virgo aug. 23-sept. 22 a love interest pulls a disappearing act. Allow them some space and return. Libra sept. 23-oct, 22 avoid an emotional explosion. Spend As much time As possible alone. Seek peace within. Scorpio oct. 23-nov. 21 take a computer course. Its time to update your skills. Practice makes for perfection. Sagittarius nov. 22-dec. 20 learn to share your resources. Possessiveness does not become you. Spread the goods around. Copley not Sarvie a by have no idea How i hate asking my husband for directions to anywhere it s. Tike a trip ticket to hell. First he uses North and South refer in pcs unless you re talking about the civil War do not use North and South with me they have no meaning whatsoever. North is always opposite my right hand and South my left. The same with a Miles. I walked a mile once. It was the longest hour and a half 1 Ever spent so forget Miles. He also thinks drawing a map will make it Clear. If i used his map i d never find my own Way Home. _ directions Arentt a sexist thing my daughter docs very Well. It s just that some of us need More a tic acc. A Reader wrote me once that she and her brother founded a driving school in Chicago and one of their students flunked her Driver s test consistently because she could t be sure which was her right hand and which was her left. A year or so after she dropped put of the course the co founder met her and asked if she Ever figured out right and left. A certainly a she said proudly Quot drive every Day now Quot she held up both hands Quot Ruby ring right Diamond ring . Mostly what is aggravating about directions is that my husband tells me More than i need to know about where i am going. I do not need to know that i turn left at the Corner where the old methodist Church once stood before it burned Down but there Are plans to build a Taco Bell there now. There is no reason to clutter up my mind with How Many Stop signs there Are before i enter the expressway i am very focused when i drive. He knows that. When we lived in Dayton Ohio he must have Given me directions 30 or 40 times on How to exit into Cicinnati. Not once did i exit into Cincinnati. Id drive until i saw cows in the Field. Then i would pull into a Gas station and ask Quot Pardon me but could you direct me to Cincinnati a Universal press syndicate7 companies that used Marilyn Monroe s photo in print ads 1. Kyron Way diet pills 2. Close up perfect kiss tested lipstick 3. Tar Tan suntan lotion 4. Max Factor cosmetics. 5. American airlines g. Jantzen swimwear 6. Roi Tan cigars the unabridged Marilyn. To make one fur coat 1. Chinchillas �?100 2. Squirrels a 100 amp wild minks a 55 a 4. Sables a 40 5. Ranch minks a 35 6. Raccoons a 27 7. Beavers a 9 whal can i do to make a difference a january 3, 1903. Sunday. A Page
