European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - January 3, 1993, Darmstadt, Hesse Voices j a. Quot it a 0._u. Quot it re i a t Quot a Joe Bob Briggs goes to the drive in or about 10 years now Ive been getting flak from various organizations of feminists fundamentalists mad mamas and psycho College professors claiming that the movies i write about a that is the three bus blood breasts and beasts a arc sick and. Demeaning and twisted and perverted. _ of course they Are. Why do you think i watch a Mem. A a. A but there a other stuff they say that is not True. For example. Z 1. Slasher movies arc demeaning because they celebrate violence against women. I never understood this one because i never notice cd a single movie in which More women were killed than men and in 99 percent of them the Only person who survives is a woman 2. Hard Core horror flicks cause crime a _ if this is True the Tarran county sheriffs de part Menf should have a posse stationed outside my trailer House 24 hours a Day because nobody has watched More hard Core horror flicks than f have. Any Day now i could go off the deep end and Start flinging hatchets at old ladies. 3. Horror flicks Are a Way for rednecks like me to act out weird violent fantasies. In other words All of us out Here in the boonies arc like the Cannibal family in the Texas Chain saw massacre. We really would like to be munching on tourists. Otherwise Why would we laugh and Hoot at the screen when a Ather face a family does it now there a this Book men women and Chain saws gender in the Modem Honor film written by Carol Clover professor of scandinavian and comparative literature at the University of California at Berkeley. Quot a it s basically about three kinds of flick Slasher movies Possession films Ikic 77ie exorcist and rape revenge films like / spit on your grave. In a pretty sure this is the first serious Book in the history of the. World to do a Complete analysis of the plot of i spit on your grave. But from my selfish Point of View i want you to know a few things professor Carol decided after watching about 200 of these movies 1. Slasher movies Are told from the Point of View of the woman. 2. Smice 99 percent of the audience at Slasher mov is is male this Means that All those men Are Ridenti tying with the experience of the woman 3. Jason and Lea ther face Are guided As males. 4. The real villains in horror movies Are male red necks. 5.1 spit on your grave which has been called the most disgusting film Ever made by Eggbert and Sis Keland which has been banned from Cable to for 15 years is actually told from a female Point of View so that the audience identifies with the ultimate Triumph of the woman Over the leering rapists. 6. The accused and Thelma amp Louise Are both watered Down versions of / spit on your grave. And. The silence of the lambs is just another version of the Texas Chain saw massacre. After Reading this Book i feel pretty Good about Carol Clover on men women and Chain saws it. Makes me think there a some Hope. Makes me think some smart people will get their hands on it and become dumb like me. _ hundreds of dead bodies. No breasts. Academic fun. Men women and Chain saws published by a of my god a Princeton University press. 7 four stars. 7 _ Joe Bob says Check it out. A Joe Bob s advice to the hopeless. Republican Alert the Westbury drive in on a Brush hollow Road in Westbury n.v., last drive in on Long Island is being targeted by developers who Warit to rip it Down and put up a 14-screen a multiplex cinemas and a Bjes wholesale club. The Westbury has three screens and is located on 24 tree lined acres. Once again look at your Fatios Here it takes 14 screens to replace three out do screens. Lisa Valentine of new York reminds us that without eternal vigilance it can happen Here. Dear Joe Bob you re Gonna love this. You know How in the Nuevo York play six degrees of separation How everybody in the world is separated from everybody else including Sidney Poitier by no More than six other people a Friend of mine has been keeping my cultural needs satisfied by sending me your columns White in be been Jhc re in England for a few months. The last Batch included your column on Potomac som Noria is or something like that and said that the British do it better than we in Murcia by standing up saying what they mean and sitting Clown in parliament. Well Ray British Girlfriend s Friend who is from Mississippi mind you is married to an pm pee and Cabinet minister. We sent your column to her she gave it to him he gave it to his Secretary and she a circulating it to selected members of the ruling class including the Cabinet. So i want you to know that there Are no More than six degrees of separation Between you and John major Maggie Thatcher and All the other right honorable gentlemen and ladies you Are Genin to be As famous As kid Shirleen or however you spell it. A god save the drive in Michael Massey Sunderland England dear Mike if you circulate this letter to John major give him this message. There Are a few things americans still do better than the English. For example we stopped using Bryl Creem in 1968. Creator Syndicate to discuss the meaning of life with Joe Bob of to gel tree junk in the mail and Jobob s world famous we a a he weird newsletter write Joe Bob Briggs . Bos 2002, Dallas to 75221, Joe bobs a line is always open 214 363-2310. Sunday morning my daughter and i made pancakes. My son called to Tell us what time he would arrive. As we ate i picked up the newspaper. There on the front Page was a picture of a woman and a Little boy. He is in her Lap grinning and Messing up her hair with both hands. She is smiling and putting up with her hair being messed. Yep i said to myself there a another Happy mama. Then i read the headline. A dying of aids a Mother seeks a Home for her a athe Story was about Rosemary Holmstrom who lives in Brooklyn n.y., and cj., her 8-year-old son mrs. Holmstrom and her husband Clarence had both been alcoholics and drug abusers Back in the �?T60s. Quot my life was sex drugs and Rock a no Roll a she says in the newspaper. Then she cleaned up her act got straight got clean. Rosemary and Clarence met at an a meeting in 1979. They fell in love married had a son did their Best to Rise him right. But the past came Back to kill the Holmstrom. Clarence father died of aids in 1985. Rosemary is sick now. Cd. Does not have the aids virus. And when his Mother Dies he will not have any parents. Unless his Mother can find him someone first. That a Why she told her Story to the newspaper. She had had no Luck with Foster agencies which is no Surprise. Years ago. We did away with orphanages deciding Foster care in individual Homes was much the better Way and of paper it is much the better Way but it just Isnit working. Kids get caught up in the system. There Are too Many kids nobody wants or even knows about. Not surprisingly the youngest Healthiest and yes the whitest get taken first. The Darker kids the older kids the crack babies. With the his virus the abused children a its much harder to find Homes for All of them so hard in fact that the state of new York has made a videotape of some of these kids. It is hoped you will watch it and decide to take one or More of these children into your Home. The videotape is available for rent at no Cost at video stores around the state. I have seen the tape. On it these a Sun adoptable Quot children talk about what they think Home is and what their dreams Are. Not your average heartwarming Holiday maybe it will work. Something has to because with aids we re not even talking about children who Are themselves infected with the his virus. A new report in the journal of the. American medical association says the number of healthy american kids orphaned by aids will double by 1996 and reach More than 80,000 by the turn of the Century thirteen percent of the 21,000 children under age 13 who became Parent less last year and 9 percent of the 28,000 Ages 13-17, were newly orphaned because of aids researchers estimated. By the year 2000, those proportions will Rise to 30 percent and 22 percent respectively the researchers reported. Amazingly the authors of the report said they had to use related statistics to develop a mathematical Model for estimating and projecting the numbers of aids orphans and their proportion in the orphan population because so Little data exists on orphans. King features Syndicate Page 18 sunday january 3. 1993
