European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - October 31, 1993, Darmstadt, Hesse A the trick on halloween is going As a Veggie by Bill Tammeus the Kansas City Star believe i be told some of you about my Friend Rick who in the late 1960s in a Cit where i used to live came to a halloween party dressed As a than that he arrived on a Public transit bus. But since i Haven t told this Story for a Long time and since it s halloween today i suppose i can get away with telling it again. If,.however, you reacted to the first paragraph of this column by saying to yourself or even aloud of no not the old Carrot on the bus Story again please know that the rest of what i have to say has never been revealed and May not be even Here. By the Way Rick had the Good sense not to travel alone on the bus As a Carrot. After All he was aware of what even a Clever 12-year-old knows which is that unaccompanied vegetables Are simply not Safe on Public transportation. Instead Rick Rode the bus with my Friend George who was not dressed As Veggie dip but rather was in drag As Diana Ross then of the us Premes. George who was and no doubt still is Black was Able to pull off his disguise better than was Rick who was not then though who knows now Orange but while. I mention All this nonsense not merely to take up my allotted space today but rather to com Plain that even though halloween has become an increasingly popular among adults in re cent cars we Haven t used our imaginations is Susan Harris enough when dreaming up costumes. Adults have tended to Settle for the Standard Vampire outfit say or that of the Fortune Teller. Halloween if you ask me needs More people willing to dress As vegetables to suy nothing of House plants legumes fruits and. Row crops. This change in emphasis would not be the first for halloween which used to be called old year s night by the ancient celts this would have been even before Larry Bird and Robert Parish. It was full of witches and was followed immediately by All hallows the Church there realty was Only one at the time converted All hallows Day to All saints Day though lots of people ignored the Church and kept on keep ing on with witches goblins and other disgusting sinners and evildoers. So since there is precedent for changing the focus of halloween customs we would not make a Radical break from history by making room for More organic costumes. To be honest i confess i be never dressed up As a Veggie or other Plant on halloween. When i was a kid i was a bum a lot. That was easy. I just had to borrow my father s clothes. Not that he was t a spiffy Dresser. He just held on to clothes Long after even charities would have donated Charity in later life i once dressed up in a nun s habit As did my wife. Damn we were cute. And for Sev eral years running i heaved a Sheet Over my head put on a cubs Cap and first baseman s Mitt and went As the ghost of baseball past whatever the Heck that meant. But never have i dressed As a celery stalk say or some Swiss Chard. Well it s time for that Reti Cence to end. It s time we All quit putting on Stan Dard old ghoulish halloween costumes and imag Ine ourselves Tovje something utterly unexpected. The Way i figure it if i go trick or treating As a banana say or Rutabaga people at the door Are much More Likely to toss serious treats to me and then flee. After All who knows what kind of tricks a 6-foot, 3v/ Inch 180-Pound ear of Corn could do the unbridgeable Gap Between men and women by Joyce Gabriel the Stamford advocate " the thing about the relationship betwee men and women is that it s never Static and never without t take my word for this. Several re cent events Mirror both the Hope for amiable coexistence Between the sexes and the Cav eat that we Are truly separate sexes. First i watched on to recently the president and first lady at Yale. He was receiving a medal from Yale Law school which she was presenting to him. Both Are Yale Law graduates. When it came Hillary Rodham Clinton s turn to speak she used humor i could Tell you a lot things about my husband she said with a twinkle and later i could share a lot of our experiences Here at Yale if the press would agree not to cover those but she turned serious and praised her husband his character and his achievements. When it was the president s turn to speak he thanked his wife and then said with Good Grace and humor How he Felt right after Hillary Clinton made her Stellar appearances on Capitol Hill a National poll showed that a majority of americans thought she was the smarter of the pair. Just when i was getting comfortable in the Job he quipped. As first couple these two could Well be the metaphor for the whole baby Boom generation of Cou Ples where equal intelligence education and Abili ties Between spouses could make competing for life s honors and prizes a bit uncomfortable or at least awkward at times. It s not just at the White House that the Saga of men and women is played out. The other morning i saw a woman lawyer in her 60s interviewed on to. The woman does stand up comedy based on relationships Between men and women husbands and wives. There s an Edge to her humor As she says if i had killed my husband the first time i threatened to i would have been out of jail by i laughed out loud and i m not a violent person by i knew just what she meant and i think a lot of other women do too. By the Way this woman comic explained she has been happily married to her Hus band for 39 years. In the name of fairness and balance within that same 24 hours i saw a male comic interviewed who bases his comedy routine on the difference Between the sexes going Back to prehistoric times. The Man is the primordial Hunter whereas the woman is the gatherer. This he says explains Why men in cars he sees them As movable campsites Don t Ever want to ask directions when they re lost because it would make them appear out of control in front of their wives particularly if they had to ask some other Man. Women Are the primordial gatherers which explains Why they like to shop so much. Even closer to Home i was talking to my brother the other night and he interrupted our conversation to Tell me How he was observing his wife talk to his 8 year old son who was trying to watch a football game on to. Liz keeps asking him questions about school and he just grunts at her because he s Busy watching i live with several Guys of assorted Ages who do the same thing i complained. We just want to be left alone my brother explained. We just want to be answered i replied. And so it goes those parallel lines of conflicting strengths and desires weak Points and evasions try ing to come together in Bliss or at least Harmony. Some Days it s for better some Davs for worse. Age 3 Summy Sci ill m 31,
