European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - October 31, 1993, Darmstadt, Hesse                                S&1 $3 Why were we russian to help Yeltsin Joe Bob Briggs goes to the drive Ini have a question. Why would 19 parliamentary democracies Praise a Man who abolishes a parliament maybe there s something i Don t understand about Boris Yeltsin. Maybe i m naive. Maybe i m a Man who sleeps in his underwear. But some thing is seriously wrong Here when All the free governments of the world including our own United states give three cheers for a Guy who s Over there outlawing political parties closing Down newspapers and generally acting like. Well. Kinda like a commie dictator. Of look they had this parliament that had a lot of Loudmouth Guys trying to Stop All the reforms right and a lot of pm were commies. And a lot of pm were these Weir Beard Ultra right loonies who Wanna bring Back the Czar. And they did t give two diddly squats for the welfare of the country they just wanted to Stop Yeltsin. To which i say so what in t this the same Dang thing that happens in the by italian parliament every Day of the week Aren t these communists acting exactly like the communists in the French parliament Don t All the Looney political parties always band together and gang up on the majority party but they were elected right they got their jobs fair and Square right As to the Czar Loving right wingers they probably feel this Yeltsin approach is just business As usual. Communists Yeltsin its what difference docs it make they All eventually throw you in jail. All this is very russian and very understandable. What i Don t understand is Why do we approve of it i Don t think we d react the same Way if Clinton cancelled the Congress. Or maybe we would. Maybe we Veall become commies. What Are we saying in Russia that we want democracy but not too much of it just yet obviously it s too much for me to figure out. But Back to More important topics like the definition of a  i m Happy to report that Ameri Ca has progressed past the b movie the c movie and the z movie to movies so weird and Low budget that they were undreamed of by our forefathers in Phila Delphia. Or even in Akron. Hence we have the age of insects the sensitive Story of an insect worshipping scientist in Manhattan who lures people to his Laboratory with newspaper ads offering personality changes then drugs them rubs gooey juice All Over their bodies chants demonic slogans and forces them to mate with his East in Dian lab assistant cleaning woman the mantis Queen who will bring on the final March toward Ento socialism in which we will All be descended from Grasshoppers. Six dead bodies. Eight breasts. One orgy. Mouth injection. Chloroform fun. Drive in Academy award nomination for Jack Ramey As the scientist who talks about the Petty Freedom that eats away at Man s puny social Structure and barks orders like please restrain your neurotic dribble until afterwards and i m sending you Back to Calcutta to sleep on a dung Heap with the rest of your relatives three stars. Joe Bob save Check it out. Jack Amchin the age of insects. Joe Bob s advice to the hopeless Republican Alert the Commerce drive in in Union Lake mich., has met the wrecking Ball to make Way for yet another Kroger store. Pat and Brenda Cromer of Highland remind us that without eternal vigilance it could happen Here. Dear Joe Bob have you seen psycho from Texas it was produced and directed by my Uncle Jim Scaz cell and his son my Cousin Christian plays Young Wheeler. It s really not too bad. The Mam character reminds me of a few of the people i put on Catli Row while . Of Mclennan county. I want him to do a sequel and Call it psycho from Waco. Vic Fca cell Austin Texas dear Vic in t psycho from Texas redundant where can i get a copy of this classic dear Joe Bob when Are you going to write an irresistible article trashing shh Muks single hopelessly heterosexual mothers of unemployed adult kids ? i have been looking for an Opportunity to write and Tell you that i have been a devoted Reader for years and often applauded your wit intelligence end insight but that your article fill in Date overstepped the Bounds of satire being merely mean Low spirited and bigoted and that i won t be Able to be a fan any More. You have caught so Many people nut by finding their particular fanaticism but i have been Reading on blithely enjoying All of it. At this rate i la never find an article i can t see the humor in so figure the Only Chance is a direct attack where i live. Mean while i will remain your faithful sometimes Overly entertained subscriber. Margie Farwell Boulder Colo. Dear Margie All i can think of to say about shh Muks is you gals could probably solve that unemployed kid prob Lem by latching onto some hopelessly heterosexual Man who would be Happy to come to your House and be unemployed in their place.  sry a o the lesson of making demands out loud Linda Everbee to a ,v3 ii j Jan j a i in to. Thiss.  / c  Lando to change government policy. The sur prise is that i do know something about that. Young ladies what follows is a life lesson. Also a history lesson. This Story is about breast cancer but the principles apply to any Issue you care about and want the government to care about too. It s a Story about noise. Begin with this. Do you know Why there arc two women on the supreme court five in the Senate and several handfuls of women in the House do you know Why there arc As Many women cos generals movie directors team sters mayors and airline pilots As there Are today do you know Why Connie Chung is co anchoring with Dan rather not because the men in Power decided one Day that it would be a Dandy idea to include women and not because the government decided to Tell the men in Power to include women although with business and unions the government did eventually do just that but not because the government thought it was a Good idea. It was t its idea at All. It was pressure. Noise. Two years ago when we Man from the newly formed National breast cancer coalition tried to deliver to president Bush the 600,000 signatures of women who wanted a National strategy to fight breast cancer they were made to stand outside the Gates of the White House. The petitions were placed on a conveyor Belt which they Felt certain carried their work straight to the shredder with no stops at the Oval office in Between. And so the noisy women got louder. Two weeks ago i stood with several Hundred of these women in the East room of the White House. The founders of the National breast cancer coalition stood on stage next to the president of the United states. The women were there to give the president petitions signed by More than 2.6 million women rep resenting 2.6 million american women who have breast cancer today including the 1 million who Don t know it yet. The president was there to accept those Signa Tures and to Promise a National strategy to fight breast cancer. To begin with he said spending for breast cancer research at the National institutes of health will increase from $208 billion to almost $300 million under his budget. Not enough. But a Start. You May say Bill Clinton did this because his Mother has breast cancer and his wife is a Strong woman however at least two other presidents have had wives who were Strong women who also had breast cancer and nothing much was done about finding cause or cure. Perhaps it s that Bill Clinton is a More enlightened Man after All he too is of the 60s. Yes perhaps. Hut it s More than that. This Young ladies is we it noise can do. Now go make some. And so it goes.  i cd of a l f in ccfcufh31, in 3 i acc 21