European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - October 31, 1993, Darmstadt, Hesse Miss manners Judith Martin dear mss manners this conversation takes place at a party in the evening. Joe Jane you look Nice Jane thank you Joe for your kind in t Joe s statement out of place when the word tonight is added to the remark it is inappropriate. And in bad taste because it leads one to think and conclude what happen did before was Jane ugly or not Nice gentle Reader miss manners cannot help but suspect that she is if it is she who wants to twist an obviously Well intentioned compliment into an in sult. Is there really not enough rudeness in the world that one has to go and make it out of compliments dear miss manners for years whenever we went on vacation we would bring Back Little gifts for certain people. Since i retired we have been spend ing five months each year in Florida. Are we still required to bring Back gifts or do the new Circum stances change the rules gentle Reader miss manners Hopes the reason you have the word required in quotation Marks is that you understand that you Are not in fact required to bring presents Back from vacations. It is a Nice gesture but strictly optional. Still less docs having being generous previously Force you to keep it up forever. The new Circum stances Are certainly convenient for making such a change but the truth is you could simply have stopped bringing things Back from Ordinary vacations. Anyone who asks what did you bring me will have to answer to miss manners. Dear miss manners i am the owner of a Small and struggling appliance repair business. The store stays Busy All the time but it s still a Long Way from becoming profitable because it recently. The lady i had been dating the past several months naturally brings her appliances to me for re pair or i go to her House depending on the size of the appliance. Because she was rather special to me i never charged her for my time or my trips and she was Al ways appropriately grateful and understanding enough of my situation to cover my Cost on any parts involved. Dredge Nottingham England i / 7 cd it u " St i it it i vhf t / 8\/\/ v Ai Jil a i met my husband at the International arrivals lounge but apparently i was not quite As special to her because she decided to throttle our relationship Back to a platonic level and Start seeing other people. This was not a great disappointment because there had never been any talk of love or. Marriage or a future together so friends it was. A month later her washing machine failed. After three hours of work i handed her a Bill for $35. She flew into a rage because i had the nerve to charge her for my services after we had once is it proper for a woman to expect to pay nothing for goods and services at a business simply because she is dating or once dated the owner is it reasonable to complain about having been charged for a legitimate business expense just be cause there is a personal relationship is it logical to become offended at the idea of pay ing one s Way while ignoring the fact that one has saved countless multiples of the expense there must be rules on the subject somewhere. Gentle Reader wait a second. Miss manners is checking under both affections and appliances. And it Seonis that Here is a Rule under each of these headings that one should accept a favor graciously and refrain from complaining when it is removed. You Are annoyed and justly so that removal of the favor aroused the lady s anger. There is no excuse for that. However the lady probably sees your change of policy As an expression of anger Over the removal of what used to be delicately known As favors. And while she is less justified miss manners has to acknowledge that you did intend to link the two. No one is required to provide free professional services to friends. But to make a connection be tween intimacies and values returned is not gentlemanly. Your change in policy should have been timely and worded so As to avoid this suggestion. Dear miss manners at a Surprise presenta Tion of a plaque in a Large group How does the per son honoured conduct himself or herself other than by expressing gratitude does one accept the award and Bow out or remain to the last to shake hands with All who attended As they leave the room it was me gentle Reader while it is True that the guest of Honor at a party is supposed to leave first that is presumed to be after an evening in which everyone had a Chance to talk. To do so after receiving a sur prise without giving everyone present a Chance to offer congratulations would seem rude miss Man ners knew All along it was you she wants to offer you congratulations too United feature Syndicate fooling incorrect address your ii quota questions in Black or Blue Black Ink on Whita writing paper to miss manners . Box 9t428. Cleveland Ohio 44101-3423. The Quill shortage prevents mis3 Man ners from answering questions except through this column Richter Usa according to the latest poll 52% of my relatives approve 37% feel i deserve better and 11% Are halloween outfits that Don t have a ghost of a Chance Erma Bombeck. 11 holidays bring out the creativity in people but halloween is the one where the Martha Stewart disciples come out in Force. All those frustrated Art majors have been Busy at their sewing machines since september. They will Send out into the darkness Little fairy princesses with wands that Light up astronauts in space ships and a cast of dinosaurs from Jurassic Park i tended to panic. After dinner on the night of trick or treat i would say to the kids put a Raisin in your Navel and go As a i figured halloween was held in the dark for a reason to cover me. It takes special talents to come up with disguises. Before we knew any better my husband and i at tended halloween costume parties. There we would join Clever people who put Light bulbs in their Mouths and a lampshade on their Heads and plugged themselves into the Wall As lamps. My husband and i would walk around in pathetic running suits with leaves pasted All Over us. What Are you supposed to be people asked. We did t have a clue. Given this background it is no Surprise that one of our sons has dressed As Gandhi the last three years. He is going to keep doing it until someone knows who he is supposed to be. The first year he came to our door i saw this figure with Bare feet a Sheet wrapped around him and Pancake makeup on his face. You re John Belushi going to a Toga i m Gandhi he said. Then you have too much hair. You have to have a shaved the next year he came to the door in the same outfit and a Bald Cap. Don t Tell me. You re Michael i m maybe if he fasted for a rear or so he d have something. Universal press Syndicate no kidding human deaths caused by animals 1. Dogs kill 70 people per year 2. Bees kill 180 people per year 3. Rattlesnakes kill 10-15 people per year 4. Fire ants kill 1-2 people per year 5. Sharks kill 25-30 people per year the tsetse Fly causes 10,000 deaths annually in Central Africa Book How 6 towns got their names 1. Venice Iii. Streets often flooded 2. Tribune Kan. After new York Tribune 3. Verdi Nev. Named by opera Lover 4. Mansfield Texas . Mann and Julian Field 5. Perry go place wis. T. Perrigoue 6. Evening Shade Ark. Named during Early . While applying for postal Tov a name illustrated dictionary o place names Page 10 sunday october 31, 1933
