European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - December 25, 1993, Darmstadt, Hesse The perfect male tall quiet and born to shop by Emily Prager new York times had All but decided Between the courting candlestick and the microwavable slippers when i saw him. He was in the safety zone catalogue an anti Hazard shopping guide nestled among radon Gas detectors hotel room locks and thief proof wallets. Quot you re never alone with Safe to Man Quot the headline read. I abandoned All other decisions Here was something i really needed. Safe to Man the copy said Quot is a life it size simulated male that looks like a 175-Pound Man yet weighs Only four perfect i thought. Quot designed for use As a visual deterrent Safe to Man tricks people into thinking you have the Protection of a male great the copy went on Quot he is 5-10, yet is designed with a Long Torso so he appears to be six feet tall when seated. In the car Safe to Man s upright posture makes others believe there Are two people rather than just you alone. If you go out sit Safe to Man near a window it la look like somebody s miraculous and then the Best of All Quot clothing for Safe to Man is not included. Dress him according to your own i could hardly wait. I. Ordered two one White one Black at Only $99.95 a Guy. They arrived two Days later. When i opened the boxes it really was scary. They looked like dead men staring victims of a Gangland hit. But As i lifted them out and sat them in a chair i was thrilled. They were huge really tall not inflatables but us stuffed with big Manly shoulders Dynel hair and amazingly realistic faces. Quot each face Quot it said on the tags Quot has been hand painted to give your Safe to Man his own , my Safe to Man i liked that. The Black one was otherwise a dead ringer for Burt Reynolds Complete with a moustache. The White one painted to seem As if he had two Days stubble looked like Don Johnson without the cuteness. Both were designed to sit in extraordinarily lifelike ways even though their arms legs and hands were rag Dolly. On the Black one someone had sewn toes. They were both wearing Safe to Man to shirts and nothing else. They were not anatomically Correct. They were Safe to men in every Way. As we sat at the table getting to know Emily Prager has found her perfect Don All four pounds of him. Not each other i could t help noticing that their hair was Flat and mussed from their journey. You know How it drives a girl mad when a Man s hair looks scruffy and he won t let her fix it i got out my Brush and they let me. And i did it again and again. They did t Peep. Quot name them Quot their tags encouraged and i chose Burt for the Black one Don for the White one. I took Don shopping in cabs. Cab Drivers loved him. They were nicer to the stuffed Man than any Driver has been to me a a live woman a in years but never mind Don deserved it. Any Guy who was in that Good a mood on the Way to shop for clothes had my vote. Of course they idolized him. Brooks Brothers is so Lovely at Christmas How often i have wished to meander around the store looking at All the tasteful things with an acquiescent Man at my Side. Don was that Man. As i carried Don to the elevator a woman shopper was heard to say Quot that s one Way to get him to shop with you Quot and i knew he had struck a chord. I asked Don what sort of Brooks Brothers Man he d like to be but he did t seem to care so i chose for him a buttoned Down White shirt $48gray flannels $125a striped tie $48wing tips $32a Blue Blazer $350 and of course a Camel hair coat $895. Don is a big Man a 16 neck 42-Long jacket 32 inseam and he was positively Sweet about letting me dress him. He never pulled away never snarled and the minute i had buttoned up his shirt i knew i had chosen correctly. Don went from undercover cop to Harvard Man in an instant. It s amazing what clothes can do. It was at Brooks Brothers that i Learned that Safe to Man might be useful to men. Quot i could put him in the car and use the express Lane minimum two passengers Quot one Salesman said but not wishing to be a party to crime we left the store. On the Street everyone loved Don. Once they had done their double takes they rushed right Over and wanted to meet him. He made everyone smile and i believe that if i carried him with me at All times i would never be mugged. Some men simply refuse to Wear clothes they look Good in. I Don t know Why a they associate it with being feminine or something. All i know is not my Don. When i stood him up and showed him How fabulous he looked in a Barneys new York three piece Gray woo suit $595he was struck speechless and just stared in the family curbing rebelliousness teaching Good manners i 1 How can i shape my 9-year-old songs will without damaging his spirit it is accomplished by establishing reasonable boundaries and enforcing them with love but by avoiding any implication that the child is unwanted unnecessary foolish ugly dumb a Burden an embarrassment or a disastrous mistake any accusation that assaults the Worth of a child in this Way can be costly such As Quot you re so dumb a or Quot Why can t you make decent grades in school like your sister Quot or Quot you have been a pain in the neck Ever since the Day you were born Quot rather i would suggest that you respond decisively the next time your son behaves in a blatantly disruptive or defiant manner there should be no screaming or derogatory accusations although he should soon know that you mean what you say. He should probably be sent to bed an hour or two Early. The following morning you should discuss the Issue rationally reassuring him of your continuing love a then Start Over. Most rebellious preteen agers respond beautifully to this one two punch of love and consistent discipline. It s an unbeatable combination. It James Toos son a a How should parents Deal with childish irresponsibility when it involves neither Defiance nor passive aggression it a kids love games of All sorts especially if adults will be involved with them. It is often possible to turn a teaching situation into a fun activity that sensitizes the entire family to the Issue you re trying to teach. Let me Tell you How we taught our children to put their napkins in their laps before eating. We tried reminding them for two or three years but we simply weren t getting through. Then we turned it into a family game. If one of the do sons took a single bite of food before putting his Napkin in his Lap he or she was required to go to the bedroom and count to 25 in a loud voice. This game was highly effective although it had some definite disadvantages. You can t imagine How foolish Shirley and i fett standing in an empty Section of the House counting to 25 while our children giggled. Ryan particularly never forgot his Napkin and loved to catch the rest of us in a moment of preoccupation. He would sit perfectly still looking straight ahead until the first bite of food went in. Then he would wheel toward the offender Point his Finger and say Quot gotcha Quot for All of those Many parenting objectives that involve teaching responsibility rather than conquering wilful Defiance game playing should be considered As the method of Choice. Or James c. Dobson is president of focus on the family an organisation dedicated to preserving the Home correspondence should be sent to him at focus on the family p o to 444, Colorado Springs. Colo 00903 Tatur Doy sunday december 25/26, 1993 the stars and stripes 17
