European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - December 25, 1993, Darmstadt, Hesse Pace 8 miss manners Judith Martin Doar miss manners we display Christmas cards around our Home to enjoy the artwork on the front and to reread them As we desire. I have never had any visitors who picked them up and read the greetings inside without first asking our permission a except my in Laws. They feel comfortable about Reading All the contents including notes and letters continued on the Back of the cards. They comment on this information and even ask further questions. When they pick up a card that says on the front Quot to my dear husband or wife a they read it and invite one another to do the same. I have pointed outto them that the card such As a sentimental one my husband had chosen to display on our family room mantelpiece was for him. They acknowledged this with Quot yes i know a and continued to read. My remark that i feel the contents of cards Are like letters is met with Quot of really a and no change in behaviour. I have made a Point of putting away personal cards before my in taws arc expected however they often drop by without notice. I have asked my husband to say something since it is his family but though he feels that i May have a Point he is not confident about making this an Issue. Gan la readers you and your husband use love notes to each other As household decorations and now you Are complaining that they attract attention miss manners does t want to seem to Side with people who read other people s mail and she would be the first to condemn anyone caught idling in someone cd see a desk. Even marriage to the owner of the desk does no to excuse that much less in la ship. But posting your Sweet thoughts on the mantelpiece is unduly provocative. You did no to object when your visitors examined your snapshots that were prettily framed and arranged on the Side table or scream when they complimented you on the sofa Cushion you. Had worked so hard to certain amount of looking around is even slightly polite on the part of intimate guests. That s Why we Don t leave our diaries love letters or medical Bills lying around. The proper place for Happy couples to leave one another Mushy notes is on their pillows. Dear miss manners How do i Deal with a Boss who insists that i cat Cut on Christmas and my birthday he sets the time and place for me to eat out and. He usually appears on the scene As i am finishing the meal whereupon he asks the waitress for my Bill pays and promptly departs. The first time 1 Felt strange and Vety awkward. After several such experiences have come to dread those occasions that remind him that i need to be sent out for a meal. How can i Tell this Man without hurting his feelings that i am not enjoying this attention gentle Reader that your Boss is devoid of gracefulness is As obvious to miss manners As it is to you. But she Hopes that your desire to avoid hurting his feelings Contes not Only of the natural Hope of protecting your employment but of a recognition that he is clumsily trying to be Nice. Someone told him that employees like to be taken out to lunch. The Way to get you both derailed from this tedious routine is to offer him an alternative. Next time he offers thank him profusely but firmly add Quot you know i really done to feel much like lunch a i m watching what i is t these Days. What would really be a treat for me is to be Able to work through lunch and then take off Early today. That would be a Lovely Christmas present from Mesa manners do i continue to Send a Christmas card to my sister when we have no mean inglut relationship we live 15 Miles apart but do not see each other or communicate in any Way throughout the year. I feel like a hypocrite every year sending a card to someone who i know has very Little regard for me. Should i Stop the ritual or continue gent la radar Pray what Are Christmas cards for if not to extend a kindly greeting to those who deserve it or not in the season of forgiveness Daar Mesa manners when we had baked potatoes at dinner my brother and i started to argue about what is proper poking holes in your potato to let the steam out or cutting it in half. Gan la radar miss manners is afraid that neither of you has it quite right. The Correct method is to break open the potato with the fingers. This has the desirable effect of burning the fingers and thus distracting people from arguing about their food at. The table. Daar miss manners my partner and i occasionally Dine out with another couple one of whom has certain rules concerning what she will or will not eat. We respect her preferences a whether based on politics or on taste a but we resent her comments about what we eat a yuck How can you cat veal a or Lamb or fish with its head still on. The list of taboo food is growing longer while our patience is growing Shorter. Gan la radar miss manners offers you the new first Rule of the table never break bread with a people who use the word Quot yuck Quot at the table. United feature Syndicate foe line incorrect address your etiquette questions in Black or Blue Black Ink on White writing paper to miss manners . To 91428, Cleveland Ohio 44101-3428 the Quill shortage prevents miss manners from answering questions except through this column. A new Ray a Rolls a v w a Quot Mai Driver Quot on the Hopes of Erma Bombeck his is a Story about today tomorrows and a Resolution. Living tomorrows before they get Here has become a full time Job for me and in a not going to do it anymore. Its the kind of society i live in. We have a curious. Need to know what the future is going to be. What is the sex of the baby we re carrying what does our schedule look like for next tuesday what is the weather going to be on Bur vacation what does the contract provide for if the marriage does t last its not Only exhausting second guessing tomorrow but things never turn put the Way they re supposed to anyway. My face still broke out on prom night. The baby arrived Early. I got measles and use my Peter Nero concert tickets. A Florida Hurricane kept family members from attending our songs wedding. The real tragedy is that in a so Busy arranging my future i done to have time to live today. Slowly within the past year i have found myself looking on each Day As a gift 24 hours of life for me to live. I can do anything i want with it. I can look at people when i talk with them i can take the time to resurrect memories that make me smile. I can appreciate the surprises a Day showers on you things you never expected to happen. I cannot imagine wishing it would be Over. A my vision of today is different than my eyesight when i look at the future. Living a Day is Clear and dimensional. Looking into next week is fuzzy my late sister lived by a Little Book of appointments with things to do and places to go in each Little Square. She was organized. Nothing wrong with that. On More than one occasion i d Call her and say a a let a go into town today and shop till we she would Check her Book and say Quot today is too soon but we could try for next we never did go to town together. Think about it. In a life that has no guarantees today is the Only shot you have. Its yours. Free. No strings attached. Yours to see feel smell and live. Universal press Syndicate no kidding born on Christmas Day 1. Sir Isaac Newton 1642 2. Humphrey Bogart 1899 3. Rod Serling 1924 4. Pope Pius i 1717 5. Cab Calloway 1907 6. Anwar Sadat 19187i Little Richard 1935 8. Conrad Hilton 1887 making our Christmas list 1. Electric Christmas lights a made by Thomas Edison slab 2. White Christmas a Bing Crosby first turned it Down 3. Gift of the magi a written in prison 4. . Fields a died on Christmas Day 5. In France a Santa travels by Donkey world features Syndicate sunday december 26, 1993
