European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - October 23, 1994, Darmstadt, Hesse I Las vegas for children you must be kidding Joe Bob Briggs goes to the drive Inive been spending a lot of time in vegas lately. Everywhere you go you be got hotels and Ca Sinos Talkin about the family adventure or the family place or the family fun Center like All of a sudden vegas is supposed to be the place where you Send Little Billy for summer Camp. Who thought this up there s this family Casino called treasure is land that looks like somebody tried to build Disney world while taking amphetamines. It s the creepiest Dang theme Park you be Ever seen it s stuck right dab in the Middle of the strip. Then there s the Debbie Reynolds Casino sticking up out of the ground like a giant Pink brassiere cup somehow i Don t think the words Debbie Rey nolds and Casino were Ever meant to be used in the same sentence. And it gets worse. Debbie per forms there like All the time. Some Genius even built a no smoking Casi no. I can t remember which one it is because i re fuse to go inside any Casino that does t have smoke in it. It s gotten so bad that the Riviera started Billing itself As your adult translation no Little Rug rats scuffling around the Coffee shop. What Are you supposed to do with a kid in vegas anyhow Send him to Blackjack class teach him How to Deal from the Bottom pay a Hooker $500 an hour to baby sit him of i know i know i know they have things for kids to do. There s the circus circus which used to be the Only Casino that welcomed kids. They can watch the trapeze acts while mom drops a Hundred on the slots. Or you can Send pm Over to wet v wild while dad sits at the Caesars sports Book All Day feeding those ponies. But my question is Why would you want to How Many times can you walk into the Jungle bar at the Mirage and say tequila shooters for us and Billy and Betty will be having grape i m not saying you should t love your kids but a sesame Street Corral out in the Middle of the desert would make More sense to me. Go pick up the Little boogers next week. They la be just Fine. Speaking of things that Don t make a lick of sense killer looks is this week s flick and it s a labout what happens when a Guy can Only be Happy if his wife is aardvark in around with strangers All the time if you know what i mean and i think you do. What we be got Here is another one of those this is the 90s, and boy Are we disgusting movies Star ring Sara Suzanne Brown As the big breasted House wife who cries a lot when her Kinky husband makes her bring Home strange men. Then one Day she Kinda Well likes one of the strange men she brings Home and he s a Weirdo psycho and pretty soon we be got your 123rd erotic thriller of 1994. Both Guys want the girl so they Settle it in a civilized manner they have a contest to see who wins. Sara is a Little hacked off. No dead bodies which never happens in other erotic thrillers. Thirty four breasts. Multiple aard Sara Suzanne Brown stars in killer looks. File parking. Three fistfights. Lesbo fun. Drive in Academy award nominations for Brown As the ditzy housewife who just does t know who to have sex with for saying my Hus band s not Gonna come Back till late tonight Michael Artura As the Sci Rubeard husband who says come on make your fantasy a reality and Len Donato the Lesbo Loving psycho for saying you re much t6o Beautiful to waste on one Man and you re turned on by the idea of losing her Aren t you three and a half stars. Joe Bob says Check it out. Joe Bob s advice to the hopeless lest we forget. Whisper a silent prayer for the Ocean Breeze drive in in Myrtle Beach s.c., which was unique in that the Concession stand was located in a building under the screen. It was demolished in stages the lot in the late 50s, the screen in 1962 and projection building in 1970. For Many years the parking lot was the site of the civitan club s annual thanksgiving Turkey shoot and today it s the site of Captain Alfs restaurant. Fred Hamilton of North Myrtle Beach reminds us that without eternal vigilance it can happen Here. To the editor the stars and stripes i was revolted by Joe Bob Briggs column. It shows a total disrespect to females in general and a Toler Ance for sexual harass sent. I Tell acquaintances that the military s Cro Toler Ance of this kind of behaviour is a plus on its Side. Or. Briggs managed to show his total ignorance for physical conditioning by award no four stars to Cindy Crawford s video while every major fitness Magazine has dubbed it the i love Rne is. Crawford s video received an of in shape Magazine s january 1993 Issue along with a warning. That it was so badly done it could be harmful and dangerous. I know this letter will not change or. Briggs. Maybe hell just laugh. But thank god i am blessed to live and work where this Barbaric behaviour is not tolerated and where women Are respected and not seen just for their Pushies and it. Stephanie Ann Potocko Katterbach Germany dear Stephanie give Joe Bob a Widdic kiss. New York times Syndicate to discuss the meaning of Lite with Joe Bob or to get free junk in the mail or his world famous newsletter write Joe Bob brings Box 2002, Dallas Texas 75221. Joe Bob s fax number at is trailer House 214 985-7448. Joe Bob on Compuserve 76702,1435. Growing Clinton is turning out just swell Linda Ellerbee Woodrow Wilson said every Man who takes office in Washington cite grows or swells and that when heave a Man an office he watched him carefully to see whether he was swell ing or growing. This is what is happening right now. We who gave Bill Clinton his office Are watching. Is the Man growing or merely swelling i say he s growing. The one swelling is Dob Dole. It s extremely Chic to moan about the failed Clin ton administration How he did t get his health care plan through Congress. That was a big one but make no mistake Bill Clinton has governed and governed Well. To govern is to choose. He chose. He came into office with a fistful of plans big ideas most of them the kind meant to redirect America or at Lea to to Goose her and make her More herself in fundamental important ways. He brought an Agenda More ambitious than that of any president since Franklin Roosevelt. Now Stop for a moment to consider not what Bill Clinton did t get done but what he and the Democrat controlled House and Senate everyone wants to Fry for breakfast have done the list is substantial. There is a family Umic Law now. Parents no longer have to choose Between being Good parents and being Good workers. The crime Bill that has passed will not solve America s crime problem but there is More Money for prisons and for police and there arc two new landmark gun control Laws. There is a motor voter Law so people can Rej incr to vote More easily which Means that More people will participate in democracy at its most Basic. There Are expanded tax credits for poor working families the ones we All agreed deserved to be helped. There is a North America free Trade agreement to increase american exports. And at last there actus ally has been a reduction in the deficit. Finally the Economy is in Good shape. This was a Centrepiece of the last Campaign was it not just ask Jeorge Mush if it was the Economy stupid. So have we lost our memory or what sure health care is important but it is not everything. It is not. Besides Basic common sense tells us that try to do a lot of things sometimes you re going to strike out. When that happens admit your failure frankly he did and try something else but try something. Bill Clinton has tried and has had one Tough time turning his Agenda into reality. Anyone looking for a definition of the word obstreperous need look no further than the 103rd Congress. It it was t the democrats in the House democrats men and women of his own party doing it to him it was the republicans what a Bunch of Small minded mean hearted losers in the Senate. Campaign finance Reform killed by a Republican led filibuster in the Senate. Aid to education killed by a Republican cd filibuster in the Senate. The Bill to control lobbying killed by a Republican led filibuster in the Senate. this president to make big changes be cause we did t like what the other Guys were doing. Bill Clinton May not look great to me but lie still looks better than they do. In fact i think he s finally starting to Shine a Little. And so it goes. King features Syndicate october 23, 1994 sunday Page 21
