European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - October 30, 1994, Darmstadt, Hesse Just Call it a three strikes and you re deaf Joe Bob Briggs goes to the drive in people done to listen. Several weeks ago Mario Cuomo made this great speech about fighting crime and a How to do it and the big line in the speech was a three strikes and you re and what he meant was three felony convictions and you re going to prison forever dude. So everybody hears the speech and everybody thinks a what a Clever saying a and everybody thinks a what a great and so we get All these new Bills and Tough speeches and anti crime legislation and they re All called a a three strikes and you re out Laws. Not a three strikes and you re in a but a three strikes and you re its like they re saying if you commit enough crimes put you Back out on the Street. In California they even have a political organization called the 3 strikes and you re out committee. Everybody on those a Brunch with the living dead political talk shows on sundays Calls it. A three strikes and you re and so what has happened is that in less than six months we took something that was actually Clever and turned it into an 80-year-old cliche. You know what in a talking about its like the word a High tech a which started out in the �?T80s As a Way to describe buildings that had exposed pipes and Cement floors and columns in the Hiddle of the room. In other words All the technology of the building could be seen. It Wasny to covered up by Wood panelling or cheesy drapes. So this definition lasts about one year and then what happens everybody starts using a High tech to mean a something that has a Bunch of computers inside and Chrome on the opposite meaning. They started using it to mean a fancy a a complicated Quot like stuff they sell at sharper image. And nobody even notices. What a going on Here i know there a some profound insight into human nature in a supposed to figure put from this but i have no idea what it is. Speaking of people with scrambled brains somebody thought it would be a Good idea to create a Samurai Kung fun comedy about medieval knights and princesses and the result is eyes of the Serpent the movie that asks the question a How Kinky were our ancestors a a its the old familiar Story of two dueling Queens who Are trying to capture the magic swords translate the ancient scrolls and achieve absolute Power while sleeping with whomever they want to. And torturing the servants. Add a few whips and Chuins scenes Between the evil Queens general and a Black haired Bimbo in a Dominatrix outfit and we re talking one of the weirdest movies of the�?T90s. I highly recommend it. Thirty four dead bodies. Ten breasts. Eye burned out with a hot poker in closeup. Fri Itile aardvark Rigi Dagger to the heart. Throat slitting. Sword fights. Hand burned off. Cat fight. Blood sacrifice. Head Rolls. Gratuitous belly dancer. Rung fun. Drive in Academy award nominations for Carlton a Lynx As the Dominatrix Cousin for saying Quot i was of a a i. A a \. A a Academy entertainment Carlton Lynx Chuck Mavich and Diana Frank Star in eyes of the Serpent. Drent and a perhaps you be been dipping your Quill in the wrong inkwell Tom Schultz As the dimwit Knight with a fake Clepatch for saying a my sword can serve you even if my heart serves your three stars. Joe Bob says Check it bobs advice to the hopeless religion Alert the senator drive in in Prescott �ariz., is being ripped Down so somebody can put in a Church. Just what Arizona needs a another Church. Russ Miller a Veteran of the senator Back when Prescott was a decent cow town and not just another retirement Community reminds us that without eternal vigilance it can happen Here. Dear Joe Bob just a note to say thanks for All those whoop ass. Movie reviews. We done to have a drive in for a Hundred Miles but the reviews Are great. It i laughed so hard last week a big chunk of Sluhu lated Chain saw Oil fell out of my ear. All of a sudden i could hear my wife scream at me a put up that Damn paper and help out with the so i stuck it Back in my ear. Keep whooping. Rick Poore. Fall River Mills c Rick in be always wanted someone who actually did stick it in his ear. Joe Bob. Is it All right for a 56-year-old professor in trouble for calling his University president an illiterate to be uncommonly and inordinately curious about the i Zarre doings of Joe Bob Briggs r or. David Powell a a Silver City. . Dear or. Powell at the risk of sounding real ignorant just exactly what University is in Silver City i need to know because it May be the last one in America that i be never been kicked out of. Dear Joe Bob do you suppose there will be a sequel to Edward scissor funds Cix lied Edward scission funds meets Freddy Krueger. Abb Purdue ,. A Las. Vega dear Bob the poster will read a a from they were introduced Sparks flew a. New to k tunes syr Sivate a. The dimming i of America Volunteer i Linda Al ways jealous is of your Ruby red lips when we were elite to 0 Sci a of lir cot., or to oot Roo or it r. Mini or h>3 or j ,1f of. S a v. A a a r r. O a is Coo by Quot j s p o a a Oai . To Gytri 7s22t of s , Conj for a nor of r t Jar. A a s a co of w. A Quot re tie of the songs republicans love to sing m a most loudly is the old Auy Govert Micnal i b Thal does no Ihms to the Besl govern j mint for me tune. Ii you ask them Thuv will toll Vou that it the government would just get out business everyone would be much bettor Oft. Of but w to would then take care of those among us and we will always have them who cannot take care of themselves Why private charitable contributions you silly girl. Haven to you Ever heard of a thousand Points of Light get real. In 1994, those thousand Points of Light sometimes look More like a couple of Rusty flashlights with sputtering batteries. Charity and vol ,. Untie risk in America Are Down Down Down. Amer ieans Are giving less and complaining More. V Independent sector i coalition of Volunteer groups that conducts a study of giving anti volunteering every two years reported last week that both club Itable contributions my Volunteer a forts have been in decline for some years now or to put a Fine Point on it since the Reagan administration when we were told that americans could and would tin a better of helping others than the government could or would. A according to the report 73 percent no american households made charitable donations last year but that was Down from two years earlier and that w As Down from the two years before that Winch was Down from the two years before dial. At the same time 47 percent of adults reported Seming As Volun Ceis at some time last year Down from 51 pet cent two , also Down from the two years before that. It would seem that people s insecurity about their own financial Well being has Hurt Quot giving a despite Clear indications the Economy is improving. But peo pie Are afraid to give what they think they May need themselves later even in its Only their time. Too had because America has a history of volunteering of helping the other guv. For Many years. Most of the tire and police departments in this country were All Volunteer. Arne let us not forget that the american revolution was a Volunteer Effort. How do you make sure that tradition of helping will continue Nickelodeon the Cable kids and for whom .1 produce shows i feel compelled to add so that you will know. I am not tin biased her recently sponsored an Effort called i he big help. The idea was to get kills interested in volunteering the network did this after leading that it people did no to get involved in service As children they were far less Likely to come to it As other thing the network discovered after listening to a Nav. Kids was that most children today thought com my nity service was a kind of prison sentence. Nickelodeon asked kids to each pledge 10 hours of service. Kids called in a total of Mure than 31 million hours. On oct. 15, they Bega. To fulfil their pledges. There were kids in California turning run Down school Yards into Parks in Florida throwing parties for senior citizens in Texas painting murals Over Graffiti in Pennsylva Nia and feeding the homeless in Boston. Maybe their volunteerism will last. I certainly Hope so. If the republicans Luke their Way next we shall lie asking these kids to go out and raise the Money to feed a family of live. Am so it goes. A a . October 30, 1334 sunday
