European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - September 10, 1995, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Lay the Book on the table then let it lie Lydel Sims watch your language sir please give me a simple Rule for the use of lie and  seems like i be heard of one that includes a laying Hen. I know How to use sit and set but Lay gets me. Nadine h. A you notice that chickens arc involved in both those confusions now i m a Chicken Lover from Way Back especially the Pulley Bon but those creatures do cause a Heap of trouble. I think what you need to remember is that you Lay a Book on the table but then it lies there. It May help to remember that Lay is transitive taking an object such As an egg but lie in t. If that does t do it for you consult the nearest Domestic fowl. Sir sixty years ago i used the word insanitary and someone said i should have said  i looked it up and found i was right. Since then i keep hearing  has wrong been accepted As right just by usage june a a a naw. Both those words have been in use for More years than you and i have lived. Just remember that sanitation can be missing either Way with no harm to our language which tolerates All sorts of things like that. Sir i be noticed that More and More people arc saying myself when i d be inclined to say me As in give it to myself where i d say give it to  which version is Correct is there a Rule  it matter Mary c. A it sure does matter and your version is right. In fact there arc More rules than we can get into at this time but you re completely right. Congratulations. Sir i can t remember rules about changing verbs to nouns or the reverse but a few weeks ago i heard a comment that she  Correct Dorothy f. A if you re Only asking whether suicide can be a verb the answer is yes. It s been one for More than 150 years. Verbs and nouns Swap places with impunity All the time just read the headlines in a newspaper and you la see. Any noun with an ounce of Gump Tion can turn into a verb before you can say boo sir where  Yuppie come from and what does it mean Frank p. A say hello 19 a new kid. Yuppie was coined Only about 15 years ago and it Means Young Urban professional. Yuppies usually work in Good jobs in Large cities. But on second thought maybe you should just forget it. You Seldom hear the word now Adays. Perhaps they All View up. Tough Luck Case of the week from Leslie a my newspaper told me about a skater who won a Competition in spite of Only one flaw which was that she scrapped a toe at the end of a jump. All the same toe scrapping seems to be pretty rough on the poor  Lydel Sims of Tho commercial Appeal  recently passed away Stipps Howard mows service a getting mailed on vacation with the family Tony Kornheiser. Like Mariy iof you i have just returned froma vacation trip with the family. And like Many of you i took lots of photographs of the family at the various Scenic places revisited. Let me show you some of them there s my wife at the Liz Claiborne outlet. And my daughter at the Esprit outlet. And my son at the j. Crew outlet. Vacations attn t what they used to be. You can t sell the family on getting in the car and driving 450 Miles to a picturesque fishing Village in the Middle of Nova Scotia anymore not unless there s a Calvin. Klein factory outlet nearby. We ended up in Vermont not by pause of the Cool weather. Not because of the quaint covered Bridges or the Maple syrup or the Tranquillity of b Cong in a stale where there Are More cows than people or even the presence of Ben & Jerry s and their new flavor Bury Garcia. No i sold my wife and kids on accompanying me to Vermont because within one half hour from where we were staying there was an outlet mall the size of mount Kilimanjaro. You know How in the old Days motels would advertise Pool and co or to to entice you to stay Here nowadays they hang signs that Flash additional 10 percent discount at deny outlet All anybody wants to do on vacation these Days is shop. People Scurry from store to store like moles. They Don t get tans on vacation anymore now the Mark of a successful vacation is if your skin has turned Blue from handling the Carbon paper on hundreds of charged purchases. On the brightest most delightful Days you Only see one or two families with enough fortitude to lounge around a resort swim Ming Pool and resist shopping the outlets Proba Bly the kleins and the Kara is. Man about town Chip Muldoon says his father has been addicted to outlets for years. Hell drive All the Way from Washington d.c., to Pennsylvania to buy Wicker chairs for $4,99, which he gives to everyone in the family. Since none of us has a  or a Patio we end up putting the Wicker chairs in the living room. So when people come Over they ask a Hadaya do shop for furniture in Tahiti All you have to do to make a killing in business is declare yourself a factory  this enables you to unload some of the worst Rcck imaginable. My favorite spot in an outlet store is their regular bin where they throw junk they could t sell on a dare stuff with Terri  or gashes stuff that does t so much look like it was pc washed but pre catch. I Don t want to give the name of this store pol but a few years ago i saw a Polo shirt with a Hole the size of a Small dog in the irregular bin. They had marked it Down to $19. And because these Polo shirts nor Mally sell for about $45, folks were actually fighting Over it for what the second Hole was so Large the Only people who could Wear the shirt were siamese twins.-. /. I myself behaved ridiculously Over a Pale yellow sweater Vest in Brooks Brothers. Daddy wants an old Man s sweater my kids chilled it was As soft As Goose feathers and the Price was right it was marked Down from $150 All the Way to $20 a great Deal except for the huge Ink stain on the Collar. I. Said i d buy it if 1 could get the stain out so i spent a couple of hours dousing it with dub soda and hand soap and watching it dry in the Sun. Finally the stain faded to the Point where you can  it in a dark room under dim lighting. And i bought it. I Fig ure i can Wear it whenever i m invited to a casual cocktail reception in a crypt. We  Vermont for one week and merchants took so Many imprints of my visa card that the Bird in the Hologram retained an injury lawyer. I believe i spent $300,000 at outlets. A spin doctor would Sug Gest that i saved $500,000 by shopping at outlets but that would imply 1 would have bought tin s stuff else Scenic Vermont is a perfect vacation spot. New York times where,.and who in his right mind would buy a sweater with an Ink stain this  not include the $200 it Cost me to rent a Dakota longed since my trunk was t big enough to lug this fabulous swag Home. It  however include the exotic Vermont jams and jellies that seemed so appealing last week but that will now sit in my pantry unopened until the next nuclear War. Right next to the ones we bought in South Carolina last year and , a few weeks ago i wrote a column about those fat Laboratory mice that were being injected with an enzyme that shrunk them into fashion models anti said i assumed there would soon be a Pill you could take to make yourself thin like those Jnice. I said i hoped researchers would let me Volunteer to take that Pill and i gave my phone number at the Washington Post. ,. Well some of you fatties and you know who you arc in Denver Seattle and Jacksonville called me to Volunteer to take the Pill too a cruel Man might turn on you and say hey whats Matta with you Don t you know i was just kidding that s my Job kidding there is no Pill. Now get a life but " i m Sweet. And i m keeping your names and num Bers on file  As soon As the researchers Call for volunteers i m give them your names. Creators Syndicate. Page 22 sunday september 10, 1995