European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - June 3, 1990, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Jet whine the agony of flying with baby Michelle Slatalla Otic of juice. Check. Teddy Bear Check. Pop up Book second bottle of juice pacifier woman weeping in seat 2 i a. Wait. This last item was not on our checklist. A no a sobbed the woman. A no. No  the flight attendants tried to console her. The woman Shook her head vigorously. She rested her forehead on the closed tray table in front of her. She clutched a flight attendants shoulder reached up to whisper in her car. Rolled wild eyes. The flight attendant approached us nervously. A she wants you to stand in the Back with the  was our baby crying that loudly ves. Hissed the weeping woman. Yes nodded the Man with the icepack on his throbbing temples. Yes. Yes. Yes said the insurance Salesman curled up like a boiled shrimp in the window seat next to us. Something had gone terribly wrong in the air somewhere after Takeoff from Phoenix for the 4-hour trip to new y Ork. There weren to supposed to be 1 50 passengers on the verge of Mutiny while my 11-month-old daughter Zoe screamed non Stop. We had anticipated that things would not go totally smoothly and asked for the Bulkhead Row and for seat assignments with an empty Middle seat. We got neither we had packed Zoe a favorite diversions the big Bird Book the raisins the infallible stuffed Penguin. But nothing worked. Soon after the Jet roared away from the terminal. Zoe started whining. And then crying. And then flailing and kicking and screaming in that red faced stiff legged Way that Only a truly unhappy child can master. Food did no to help. She mashed peas in her hair and in the hair of the woman in front of her and continued wailing. My husband walked up and Down the narrow aisle with Zoe on his shoulder. A sleepy  he suggested. She sobbed. A put something a Little stronger in her bottle a suggested 1 5-d to the flight attendant hurrying Down the aisle with a fresh Supply of Apple juice. I decided to risk a diaper change in the bathroom. It was a mistake. The longest Flat surface in the tiny lavatory a the toilet lid a was about half As Long As Zoe and unfortunately wet. It was either change her there or risk a Lynching out in the aisle. We pitched and bumped and struggled with the dirty diaper and the clean diaper and the inevitable stains on my pants where i clamped her squirming legs Between mine while i held her arms in one hand the diaper wipes in another. Time slowed like in one of those dreams where you Are running and panting and sweating Only to look up and see you have not moved ahead a single step. And then when i looked at my watch for the 8 Millionth time and tried to predict How Many More hellish minutes we would have to endure if there would be no holding pattern Over Kennedy we sensed a Subtle shift in sympathies among some of the passengers. One woman sitting in front of us tried to engage Zoe in peekaboo. And then my husband swears someone reached out to Pat his leg and said a keep up the Good work a As he passed Down the aisle yet again. Hours and hours later barely moments before the planets wheels touched the runway Zoe stopped crying. It happened soon after the flight attendants unfurled the boiled shrimp of a Man by the window and moved him up to first class and started giving him stiff drinks. Zoe sat in his empty seat and looked out the window. Then she stood up and looked out Over the Back of the plane and faced her victims. She smiled and waved. She yawned. Then she Lay Down exhausted and fell asleep with her head on my husbands Lap. Michelle Slatalla is a reporter for  Center piece duty and the beasts that s a zoo keepers Job. Ron Jensen and Michael Abrams look at How one spends the Day. Pages 6-7. Back Home .2 turbulence in the air stateside views .3 Light look at what s almost news observations .4 nothing permanent about a name have you Learned a foreign language trends.5 computers programmed for to talk playing monopoly by mail books.8-9 the ins and outs of . Society James j. Kilpatrick and the right word science and the world. 10 telling time with eggshells at a glance Denmark Odds amp ends.11 designing bikes from Bottom up miss manners and Horoscope last laugh .12 Dave Barry cartoons from around the world Ostrich eggshells Are being used to help determine How old Man is. Page 10. Computer screens Are alive with gossip about what son to screens. Page 5. Sunday is a weekly supplement of the stars and stripes. Editor John Taylor Art director Sharon Kilday makeup editor Lisa Williams sunday june 3, 1990