European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - June 3, 1990, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Odds amp ends new Bike design does no to sit Well Erma Bombeck Universal press Syndicate you would have to be out of it not to know that bicycles have staged a comeback for recreation enthusiasts. They Are everywhere a on highways and Bike paths on mountains and in deserts. I have a Bike hanging in the garage that you could t get me on if Paul Newman Rode me around on the handlebars. I have always Felt there was something seriously wrong with the design. That a Why my heart skipped a beat a few weeks ago when i opened time Magazine and saw a prototype of the two Wheeler of the future. It would have three spoke wheels to make it More durable Hydraulic brakes to make stopping easier a folded one piece Frame a computer that could measure Speed distance travelled and Altitude a push Button gearshift and. And i shuffled through the pages and scanned the Story again. What about the stupid seat they were actually going to build a 21 St Cen Tury bicycle and keep the same old stupid seat Many do not love their bicycle seat. Ask them. Its like sitting on a flagpole for three Days. Why should you have to be so miserable when you re trying to relax in my mind i have tried to imagine How the bicycle seat was designed and by whom. Was it the same Man who brought us culottes it has to be. Here is a Man who has never viewed the human Anatomy from the rear. If you put a woman in a skirt and Divide it into two legs she a going to look like a Disney parking lot from behind. The same thing will happen if you Perch her derriere atop a Little hard seat that fans out like a dead Pigeon.  you have thought that someone in the office would have said a look Hal lets get miss Simpson in Here and let her sit on a piece of Brown paper and we can Trace her outline with a magic Marker just to get a handle on what we be got Here a Hal probably would have said a a who a going to notice what you look like when you ride a bicycle a a Hal Are you saying you re not going to notice someone wearing a safety helmet and skintight Neon spandex shorts that glow in the dark a the time article said that More changes will occur on the bicycle in this Century and engineers will borrow materials from the aerospace Industry. But a few things will Likely remain the same handlebars pedals a Chain and two wheels. Can you believe it they did no to even mention the  Martin dear miss manners a a Friend came to visit me for 10 Days to get Over the breakup of a Romance. She offered no assistance at All with the cooking and after meal cleanup. In fact she resented being asked to help saying that she Felt Quot too sad to work and 1 seemed unapproachable. I tried Many times to encourage her to talk hoping that 1 would understand her moodiness which i Felt was burdensome to my family As Well As  manners we quarrelled about the proper role of a self invited House guest. I have always Felt that when 1 am a guest. I should assist my Host or hostess with the extra Burden. Gentle Reader a let us see if miss manners understands this situation correctly. Your Friend invited herself to your House because she was miserable. She then did everything a House guest can do to make you and your family miserable. Now she declares that you were callous not to Bear your misery in order to allow her to indulge undisturbed in her misery. Miss manners Hopes you Are not falling for such an argument. While it is possible to be so distraught from a broken love affair that one is incapable of going through the Ordinary motions of life such a person should not be under the Strain of being a guest unless in a psychiatric Hospital. A person who is ordinarily heartbroken. And can profit from the sympathy of friends would be Best served by the distractions of attending to the needs of others. Dear miss manners a our son is a banker and dresses appropriately in single breasted suits with Vest Oxford Button Down shirts and regimental striped silk tics but he insists on wearing for work and Leisure Black Tasse led moccasins with pointed toes. Are we incorrect to be offended by this gentle Reader a your son is obviously a rebel and an anarchist. Who brought him up will he Ever be Able to live at peace in decent society miss manners rather thinks so. A banker who tolerates his parents criticizing his shoes without either giving in to them or giving in to the natural feelings such an invasion would inspire is a gentleman after miss manners own heart. Dear miss manners a i am the designated fashion arbiter for our office. Many of our employees. Particularly younger females Are completely unaware of the Basic fashion Rule of a no White before memorial Day or after labor  i believe this is codified somewhere in Illinois Law but i am unable to find it. Would you please restate the no White Law for me to reinforce my position gentle Reader a this is not state Law it is miss manners Law. Unfortunately another miss manners Law against criticizing other people s habits and clothes takes precedence Over it. United feature Horoscope for the week of june 3 gemini May 21-june 20 aggressive action is your prescription for Success. Show versatility and mental brilliance. Watch for surprises and upheavals. Complete ventures from the last four weeks. Cancer june 21-july 22 you can t move Forward chained to the past. Talk about feelings with non judgmental pals. Use intuition to solve career puzzles. Someone you know holds the missing piece. Leo july 23-aug. 22 strengthen your creative artistry. Put old worries out to pasture and feel Good about future prospects. Get your hands dirty around the House. Keep career move close to your Vest. Virgo aug. 23-sept. 22 be the family Harmonizer. Drop serious business like a hot potato. Turn on the laughs As you become a Leisure affairs expert. Music books and Good friends provide Comfort. Libra sept. 23-oct. 22 depending on others for Security is a no no. Your world of communication galvanized so take full advantage. Assertive moves pay dividends. Romantic roller coaster continues. Scorpio oct. 23-nov. 21 stress mental Calm. Why get into shouting matches with distraught co workers or loved ones optimism is your Trump card. Also play it Safe in travel. Delay major decisions this week. Sagittarius nov. 22-dec. 20 Enthus _ Siam wanes but it s Only natural. You be been Copley news service trying too hard keep ambitions in Check be receptive to others Quot vibes Quot word from afar contains soulful advice. Capricorn dec 21-Jan 19 the Goat needs a break from climbing mountains lighten your Load and become a cheerleader for humanity. Hazy conditions persist but your Beaco like mind Sheds Light. Aquarius Jan. 20-feb. 18 veto Headstrong tendencies and strive for inner balance. One wrong move can undercut your position your artistic Genius returns. Reconsider career options. Seek professional advice. Pisces feb. 19-March 20 future partners with your innovative disposition. Moonlight strolls set off romantic fireworks. Take nothing for granted. Lift thinking to a higher ground. Aries March 21-april 19 accomplish tasks while the Ball is in your court. Be a trailblazer in a favorite Hobby or artistic Endeavor Don t make Waves in delicate romantic liaisons think before you act. Taurus april 20-May 20. Nutrition and diet demand attention. Learn More about holistic Healing and alternative Medicine. Stock up on Vita mins herbs and grains. Spice up love life