European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - June 24, 1990, Darmstadt, Hesse Its the truth real men can to buy lingerie Kevin Cowherd today i thought wed examine this business of Why men feel uncomfortable buying lingerie for their wives or girlfriends. At the risk of Over generalizing most men Don t really understand the concept of lingerie. They done to understand Why women a Madonna being the obvious example Here a can t get by with an Oklahoma soonest shirt and a pair of jockey shorts under their clothes As men have been doing for years. The word itself lingerie a also sounds vaguely unsettling to most men implying As it does a Continental sophistication hopelessly out of the grasp of anyone who delights at the sight of Hulk Hogan cracking a chair Over an opponent s head. Then. Too. There Are a Host of psycho sexual attitudes at work Here. Lingerie by its strictest definition is a a women a intimate which Means underwear lets Call a Spade a Spade. Hell men have enough problems buying their own underwear let alone a woman a which seems far More mysterious. To take this a step further not Only do men have a problem buying lingerie they done to even like to discuss it. Even at 2 in the morning with a Pyramid of empty Beer cans on their table Center pieces Nintendo has America in its Power. Super Mario a Fame is discussed while reporter Don Tate tells of one victim under the games control. Pages 6-7. Have never seen one Guy turn to another and say a saw a Nice lace Bustier on Latoya Jackson the other Day. Sid. Think ill pick one up for one problem men have with buying lingerie for women is that you have to go into a stores lingerie department to do it. This is just a thought but it seems to me that lingerie sales would go through the roof if they d Only sell the stuff in the tire department or Over in sporting goods. Certainly it would make men More comfortable operating on familiar a turf a As it were allow ing a Man the luxury of picking up a Lacy camisole for his wife along with a pair of steady rider Shock absorbers or sexy Panama undershirts for his Girlfriend and some Trout lures. As it stands now though men must shop for lingerie in the lingerie department. Which Means they must negotiate a vast shimmering Pink and White Forest of nightgowns brassieres High Cut briefs Clingy bodysuits and other unnerving garments too numerous to mention Here. This is probably neither Here nor there but have you Ever noticed How quiet it is in a lingerie department you women might not have picked up on this but the male readers Are nodding their Heads in agreement and thinking Tell it brother Tell it for some reason customers especially men tend to talk in hushed tones in lingerie departments As if embarrassed to be discussing Well underwear in the presence of strangers. It gets so quiet in lingerie departments that every time in a in one i half expect to stumble across a casket and a Hole in the ground and a bored groundskeeper leaning on his shovel waiting for the minister to wrap up the Back Home .2 unmentionable agony of buying lingerie stateside views .3 Light look at what a almost news observations .4 East Germany a sports machine slows Down words of Wisdom for recent graduate Home front.5 computer users expand your memory have you made your favorite local dish books.8-9 Bob Hope travels with his troupes James j. Kilpatrick and the apostrophe science and the world .10 medical help from the sea at a glance France Odds amp ends.11 baby Boomers go from fit to fat genealogy Ana Horoscope last laugh .12 Dave Barry cartoons from around the world another problem men encounter while shopping for lingerie is that the sales clerks tend to be too. Eager. Or maybe Perky is a better word. Yeah. Forget eager. Perky. Understand jerkiness in and of itself is not a bad Quality to have. Some of my Best friends Are Perky. Even in retail sales jerkiness can be an altogether endearing characteristic. For instance when we go into a convenience store most of us respond favourably to the clerk who sings out a got a special on the super Slurpee today a or if we re buying a car we get a lift when the plaid coated Salesman chirps a i done to care what the Boss says Well throw in the floor Mats for free Quot Fine. No problem. Thais the kind of jerkiness we can All appreciate. A jerkiness if you will that knows its place. However. If one is a male and one is treading softly through the aisles of the lingerie department looking for a Valentines Day gift for ones wife one does not want to be set upon by a sales cleric with viciously teased hair and glasses dangling on her bosom who then chirps a Chi eee help you find some see through panties Good lord. This sort of Subtle sales pitch causes me to break out in a cold sweat to the Point where if you were to steal a glance at my feet you a see twin puddles of water the size of Lake Superior and Lake Champlain. Then i generally stammer out a huh no. I us thought this was household appliances before bolting up the nearest aisle and Over to the shoe department where i buy her a pair of air Jordans. Which by the Way in a not afraid to discuss. Kevin Cowherd writes Tor the Baltimore evening Sun. Bob Hope describes his years of humor hobnobbing and entertaining the troops in his new Book. Page 8. Sunday is a weekly supplement of the stars and John Taylor Art director Sharon Kilda makeup editor Lisa Williams Page 2 c sunday june 24,1990
