European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - August 26, 1990, Darmstadt, Hesse                                \ 3 i1 a i i i s1 annual party is pain in the neck Cindy Chambers columnist every once in a while my husband normally a rational Man will suggest we throw a  a few friends hell remark casually. Nothing  the last time he uttered those fateful words i went for his Throat. An Ascot cleverly concealed inc Han prints i had left around his neck and i must admit the British accent he affected so As not to arouse suspicion made him the hit of the party. Of yes we had the party. We always do. A party a year whether we need one or not that s our motto. You would t think that one party would throw me into such a dither especially when i have All year to prepare for it but it docs. With out fail the simplest plans escalate into a full blown extravaganza involving hours of preparation and approximately two months salary. The week before our latest party i discovered that our guest list had mysteriously grown from two couples to half the brigade. The question of where to put All these people in an apartment the size of a compact car had not come up. The tub of onion dip and bag of generic potato chips we had planned to serve had been exchanged for Batter dipped mushrooms mixed nuts no peanuts pleas and an elegant selection of German cold cuts topographically arranged to represent nato forces in Europe. I began cleaning three Days before the party. By the morning of the actual event family Mem Bers had been barred from sitting on the Furni Ture using any dinnerware or shedding. An hour before the guests were due to arrive i was still cleaning with the Energy of a shark in the midst of a feeding frenzy. Half an hour later i was calling out last minute instructions from the Shower where i was scrubbing myself with Comet to avoid having to polish the tub. I Don t remember much after that. We had the party i m sure because 1 recall winning a limbo contest by collapsing from exhaustion directly under the pole. The next morning i was certain that our Home had been the site of a major happening. Crushed canapes covered every available surface. Some one had removed my Philodendron and planted Vienna sausages in its place. 1 was about to take the first of 326 trips to the recycling bin when Rny husband stopped me. Hey that was a great party last night. These things really help with promotions you  of Calls i asked icily. What rank am i being promoted to "come.on," he insisted. It or a l that bad. What do Sou say we have one next month if of see my husband Tell him it s sate to come Home now. Hell be was to spot. Just look for the go with the Ascot. Miss manners Judith Martin ear miss manners what is the polite Way to ask a person s gender yesterday 1 went to my Bank and the clerk who helped me was wearing an attractive pants outfit. I am a Young lady who is interested in clothes and  see another lady wearing a Nice outfit i like to compliment Heron it. However i would never compliment a strange Man or comment on his outfit so it was important for me to know whether the clerk was male or female. The clerk was wearing a name tag but the name could have been male or female. The clerk looked like either a very effeminate male or a very masculine female. Gentle Reader it seems to miss manners that you Are examining your Bank clerk where you ought to be counting your Money and de parting to spend it. The truth is that there in t a legitimate Rea son for you to know your Bank clerk s gender than to avoid the awkward phrasing to which you had to resort in your letter because you did t know which pronoun to use. That compliments arc often Well meant and welcomed does not make them appropriate in business transactions. People who serve the Public Are not making themselves available to be judged by their customers on personal mat ters and casual admiration May not be taken As disinterested by the clerk who might have Trou ble identifying your gender or intentions. Besides miss manners would hate to have Horoscope for the week of aug 26 Virgo aug. 23-Sopt. 22 projecting anger onto loved ones Only hurts in Long run. Follow conservative methods in business. Attend gala events Hobnob with new contacts. Libra sept. 23-oct. 22 turn aggressive in financial affairs there s a Tiger in your emotional tank. Take a stroll Down memory Lane but learn from past mistakes patterns exist for a reason. Scorpio oct. 23-nov. 21 concealment and secrecy your Stock in Trade Are a volatile combination. Reveal sources to reach business Heights take time for sports. Film classics in Vogue. Sagittarius nov 22-dec 20 focus on practical concerns. Don t allow summertime blues to Knock you off course bottling up intense emotions won t help keep communication channels Ope n " Capricorn dec 21-Jan. 19 listen to the advice of trusted elders. Receptivity is More important than personal opinions Send overdue letters make phone Calls allow extra time for meetings travels aquarius Jan 20-feb 18 you re Rummy Sirj week but it s a smart goofy infectious laugh Tor molts opposition keep nose to the Grindstone to e what you do and Money will been behind you in line when the clerk replied of do you like it 1 got it on Sali and you responded whore and so on. Dear miss manners this dispute threat ens our marital Bliss As Well As my prospects for the occasional Home cooked meal. My. Wife says it s rude to add Salt to her Culi nary preparations she is admittedly talented with seasonings and she feels that my doctor ing up her dishes is unappreciative and excessive. I respond that Salt is a matter of i Dividu  my  add Salt does t demean her efforts or talents. Who is right gentle Reader you Are. God made table Salt shakers or. For the fastidious Salt cellars because the amount of Salt is considered to be a matter of individual taste. Dear miss manners my sister is a wonderful artist. I have two of her paintings already hanging in my House. She has now painted a portrait of me As a gift. I cherish it and would like to hang it on my Wall i am male and i live alone. Is it improper to hang a portrait of one self in one s Home gentle Reader oddly enough etiquette that same Stern task mistress that makes you put your trophies in your study and your wedding photographs in your bedroom thinks the front rooms arc just the place to hang a painted portrait of your very own  sole requirement is that you discuss Only the merits of the artist As you have done so charmingly Here and not the subject. Whether Justice has been done to the latter miss manners believes that the traditional comment is there is something not quite right about the Mouth for others to debate. United features Pisces 19 ?-/arr.h 20,r  career and i to trends actual Aid Busi Ness world. Soothing words help friends under the gun. Keep your psychic antennae tuned up. Aries March 21-april 19 putting yourself