European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - September 9, 1990, Darmstadt, Hesse The straight facts on overseas moves Cindy Chambers a columnist a Al for every person receiving orders to go overseas there Are at least 10 people telling him the Best Way to do it. That a because the Geneva convention guarantees strangers the right to Tell you absolutely everything about your overseas tour months before you Ever leave the . A a you la hate it there a say confidentially. A it Rains every Day the toilet paper is rough enough to file diamonds and All the women Dye their hair of course now that we re Over Here we realize its All a Bunch of hooey except for the part about the toilet paper. So to Clear up some common misconceptions about the continent popularly known As a Europe a i have made a list of questions frequently asked by american serv ice members anticipating a visit Here. Q How is my car shipped overseas a its very simple. First you drop your car off at one of several conveniently located Points of embarkation from the latin word a a embarks a a to leave unattended. There it is put in the care of a teen Ager named Raoul. Raoul a Job is to immediately drive it to his girlfriends House in Newark n.j., via the Florida keys. After several weeks there most of the cards major accessories Are removed and packed in a Box marked a contaminated material. Do not open a to be left in a warehouse near the waterfront for an indeterminate amount of time. The car is then driven through the Atlantic Ocean with most of the windows rolled up real tight. Eight to 90 weeks later your vehicle arrives in Bremerhaven where trained technicians Ping it All Over with tack hammers and write things like 4b7-6%q56?90 and a Joe loves Gretchen on the Windshield in indelible grease Pencil. Your car now meets strict International specifications and is ready to be involved in a rear end collision on the autobahn. Q Are the quarters overseas spacious a that really depends on what you plan to do there. Most people find them big enough to sleep in but prefer to use other facilities for things like eating and sitting Down. Q will i be Able to watch my favorite to shows overseas a yes providing your favorite shows include a prime time All Star wrestling and 15-year-old reruns of a diff rent a a just joking. Actually the armed forces network is fortunate to have Access to Many top rated to shows. But by Law the really Good ones must be broadcast Between the hours of 2 . And 4 . If you done to believe this look it up. Its a fact in the Library of Congress. Cindy Chambers is a military family member living in Schweyn Furt. West manner Judith Martin dear miss manners a several months ago i hired a Friendly hardworking reliable woman to help clean my House. She Speaks Only Spanish and usually this is just a minor inconvenience since i speak tolerable Spanish and she is very forgiving of my grammatical mistakes. However when other people Are in the House the situation is a Little awkward. When her name is mentioned in conversation it seems obvious that i should include her by explaining the comment. On the other hand when my daughter and i Are huddled Over her math paper there seems no need to translate everything into Spanish. However there Are Many situations that fall in Between. When i make a pot of Coffee and offer a cup to a Friend do i translate that its half decaf and that the Cream and sugar Are on the table when my Friend and i burst into laughter Over some joke do i try to explain in Spanish i realize that ours is a business relationship but i done to want her to feel excluded. Gentle Reader a the relationship of hous hold employer to household help has always been a difficult one in America. That term a a help originated Here As a euphemism to distinguish household employment from the harsh master servant relationship and disguising it As a social one has disadvantages for both employee and employer. Miss manners dares say that your housekeeper would prefer to get on with her work so that she can enjoy her free time As she chooses rather than delaying it by listening to you and your friends translated jokes. Privacy works both ways surely you would not intrude yourself if she had a visitor. The Point about translating anything in which her name is mentioned is an excellent one. You should not be discussing your employee in front of her but if her name comes up a As for example if you mention that she will soon be picking up your daughter from school a it is tactful to let her know what was said. Dear miss manners a i went to the Post office to get Stamps and other miscellaneous items. The polite Young lady who served me made no Effort to Avert her head when she suddenly let Forth an enormous sneeze All Over my Purchase and her hands. Rather than make an unkind comment i timidly let the matter go and grudgingly collected my change and items but i wonder what you would have done. After All she could have turned her head away when she Felt the sneeze coming on and not shared her germs. Gentle Reader a miss manners would have confined herself to uttering a mild a bless you a perhaps accompanied by the polite request a i wonder if you might give me some dry Stamps dear miss manners a i often observe my wife and daughter eating at the dinner table with legs crossed. Should legs be kept straight Forward with both feet Flat on the floor or docs it not make any difference at All gentle Reader a sir would you please get up from under the table. You Are a husband and father and have no business crawling around like that under the Tablecloth. United features Horoscope for the week of sept. 9 Virgo aug. 23-sept. 22 accelerate to maximum Speed on the career Highway. Go for the Gold in arts. Water sports photography and metaphysics make strange bedfellows. Tiptoe through romantic mine Fields. Libra sept. 23-oct. 22 a forgive and for get attitude works wonders in relationships. Give elders your love and respect. Get Down to brass tacks on work projects. Explore your dream world. Scorpio oct. 23-nov. 21 Don t go wild on the health front. Biting off More than you can Chew leads to psychic indigestion. Take up a new sport. Revamp financial plans with an Eye for detail. Sagittarius nov. 22-dec. 20 out with the old in with the new on All fronts. Use intuition to solve career puzzles. Someone s trying to thwart you could be a close Friend so proceed with caution. Capricorn dec. 21-Jan. 19 aggressive moves pay big dividends at work place. Meantime fasten your seat Belt on romantic roller coaster. You re having fun again. Welcome to the world. Aquarius Jan. 20-feb. 18 Don t waste Money on Radical procedures. Traditional values make a comeback. Be sensitive in remarks to loved ones your words can be taken the wrong Way. Pisces feb. 19-March 20 keep your mind open to higher potentials but Don t dream your chances away. A closed door policy is self destructive in Long run. Catch up on world events. Aries March 21-april 19 bring your ideals Down to Earth floating in midair wont pay the Bills. Your Good humor and cheerful disposition seem like a desert Oasis. Be generous with affection. Taurus april 20-May 20 live closer to your philosophy of life. Examine ethics and morals to decipher temporary derailment. Determination is the name of the game. If universe gives carte Blanche take it. Gemini May 21-june 20 build momentum in professional matters. Use your intuition and imagination As secret weapons. Deal directly with partnership snafus. Honesty is Best policy. Cancer june 21-july 22 take a break from usual routines. Visit new territory in your own Back Yard. Dance music and the arts Are spotlighted. Pick up the Slack in Romance. Leo july 23-aug. 22 finalize agreements after Reading the Fine print. Watch for emotional typhoons. Don t let dark moods destroy your Confidence. Be a pillar of strength to loved ones. Copley news service september 9,1990 sunday c
