European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - September 10, 1990, Darmstadt, Hesse A amps Jim Der Sim changing Kelley Anne is just part of the daily routine for Terry Calhoun of the . Military Community in Aschaffenbur West Germany. His wife is a sergeant. House husbands taking Over at Home for military wives by Randy Pruitt staff writer in today s military Terry Calhoun in t one of the boys. He s More like one of the girls. The bearded former army journalist is a House husband one of a Small band of men that marches to the beat of a different drummer. Calhoun in t alone. More male spouses Are staying Home to perform Domestic chores while their wives pursue careers in the army or air Force. Being a Quot or. Mom Quot in t easy Calhoun attests. Especially in an environment where Battlefield machismo is venerated. Although Many stay at Home husband dependents Are Happy with their lifestyle some find that cooking cleaning and caring for the children get about As much respect Askp duty. Calhoun 42, knows he spends his Days in an army apartment in Aschaffenbur West Germany with his 2-year-old daughter Kelley Anne while his wife sgt. Cynthia Calhoun works As a Beha vioral science specialist with the 26th support in. Calhoun says that when he meets people he can t escape explaining Why he not his wife stays Home. Quot the girl who lives across the Way Over there does t have to explain Why her husband is in the army and what it was in their lives that brought them to the Point to make a military career Quot he says. Quot but As a Man first of All and As an older Man especially that seems to be the question Mark in people s eyes when you on a typical Day Calhoun is up by 7 . He fixes breakfast and reads the newspaper while his daughter watches an episode of sesame Street. After lunch they walk to a nearby playground. In Between Calhoun does laundry cleans House and Cooks the evening meal. Quot most of the men i meet say a i do that or gee i d like to do that a a Calhoun smiles when he recounts the briefings he s attended where the speakers referred to the group As he jokes about the newsletters he received addressed to the company he s patiently endured the extra id scrutiny at the pcs with one clerk s comment still ringing in his ears. Quot she said we have to be careful with men a Quot Calhoun recalls. Quot i be taken most of these challenges in Good humor trying to be understanding of those who make no attempt to understand Quot he says. Quot sometimes i wonder if i in doing so abrogate my responsibility to those who will follow Patrick Ludwa of Ludwigshafen wonders too. Also a House husband and the father of two he was shocked to discover that As an army dependent he could not play Community football. Ludwa whose wife capt. Cheryl Ludwa is chief of personnel actions for the Mannheim Community says he was told unit members can form football teams but army regulations forbid family members from participating in Contact sports. Quot my own Mother does t Tell me what i can or cannot do As Long As its Legal Quot says the 36-year-old, Quot but somebody decided that i and other family members can to play a bonafide american sport. If a Soldier Breaks a leg he a off duty but if a dependent Breaks a leg of Well. To me it s Ludwa says he hit another Snag when he attempted to enrol his children in Day care and school. Quot with orders in hand to show command sponsorship i found that again i Wasny to responsible enough to do Ludwa who reached the rank of first lieutenant during his 10-year stint in the army says its upsetting that dependents must get their spouse s permission to drive in Germany. A i wonder How Many spouses Are locked up out there because their sponsors Don t want them getting around and feeling Independent Quot he asks. Societal pressures both men attest sometimes make the switching of breadwinner and bread maker roles particularly trying. Quot a woman can make a Choice on being a housewife she can have a career or try to mix the two but i done to seem to have that Choice Quot Calhoun says. Quot its internal but i just feel like i have to at night he works As an Independent contractor stocking groceries at the commissary at Aschaffenbur. Ludwa agrees. Quot society says a Many a not really a Man unless he goes out from 9 to 5 and brings Home a paycheck Quot he says. Quot if a woman decides to stay Home it s of but if a Guy does there a something wrong with Ludwa who devotes three mornings a week to Volunteer Church work says he has run into discrimination when potential employers discover his wife is with the military Quot people done to come out and say it but they think Patrick Ludwa a House husband in Mannheim West Germany dishes up Peanut butter and Jelly sandwiches for Bridget 5, and Megan 3. A amps j in Oer Hoim probably be moving soon that you re not stable Quot says. Respite their grousing both men say they Are Happy. Dying their children while they Are Young is the big off we re comfortable with her their daughter being by Quot says Calhoun a former teacher. Quot it s what you de and we value what we used to Call being ends Quot problem is self esteem Quot Calhoun says. Quot i Don t j t s just a Houseman s problem. You done to have a its so you done to have anybody to encourage or we you you have to dig Down deep inside and find Quot own Calhoun says he thinks a number of women leave the Ary because their husbands can to adjust Onnink the military has an obligation to educate Anders and civilian employees that women in Page 14 a a a the stars and stripes monday septet a a the never Felt like a second class citizen Quot says House husband gourmet Cook George Anderson. Bill Billings with his daughter Andrea 8 takes care of things at Home while his wife an no works at her army Job. A amps Randy Pruitt military have a right to their families being treated equally not that we As male spouses have a right to be treated equally Quot he says. Adds Ludwa Quot they the army should Stop treating us like dependents. It May be the a year of the family but when it comes to showing us respect it s nonexistent. Let me be responsible for my own actions Quot George Anderson of Giessen and Bill Billings of Rockenhauser Are two House husbands who Haven t encountered Calhoun s and Ludwa s frustrations. Anderson a retired air Force master sergeant spends Days at Home with his cat rastus while his wife Starr teaches at Giessen Middle school Quot sometimes it bothers me a Little i done to work Quot he admits. Quot but if i made extra Money id get burned on taxes. Anyway my wife likes to be Able to come Home dinners ready the laundry is done and everything else a amps Jim Dorheim is taken care Anderson s duties fit in perfectly with his Hobby cooking. The Handlebar mustachioed 44-year-old, says he does t have an image problem. Quot a couple of my friends who Are Active duty army asked me what i did when i told them i was a House husband i got that real strange look Quot he says laughing. Quot in be never Felt like a second class citizen Quot says Anderson who spent three years in the Phillip Ines three in Vietnam and five in Germany. Anderson says staying Home alone All Day has both its benefits and drawbacks. Quot i like to have my wife come Home and sit around and talk but she s Busy too Quot he says. Quot we Don t get to just loaf around and talk. Id like to just speak English if i go downtown and do some shopping it s All in German. I m Here All Day and there s no one to talk to but my the Freedom though makes up for the isolation he says. Besides Honing his cooking skills he s taught himself carpentry and masonry skills. Quot i never thought i would like Flowers Quot he confesses. Now he often finds himself Bent Over a Flowerpot. Billings 62, proudly identifies himself As a House husband. He a spent 21/2 years walking in a wife a shoes. Although suffering from arthritis he takes care of the House and 8-year-old daughter Andrea while his wife sgt. Martha Billings works at the 23rd Ord co. Billings retired from the army after serving Tours in South Korea Vietnam and Germany. Quot i wish every husband had to go through three months of on the Job training to be a Mother Quot he says. Staying Home has Given him a special insight he believes. Quot you learn More about your child about what your wife goes through when she s Home and you learn a hell of a lot about yourself. After three months a Guy be so Quick to jump at his wife and say you re Home All Day Why in t this done Quot 5er 10,1990 the stars and stripes a a a Page 15
