European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - November 4, 1990, Darmstadt, Hesse Driven to insanity by european motoring Cindy Chambers columnist everyone arriving in Europe has one major hurdle to overcome and in a not talking about learning to accept the sight of people eating French Fries with Mayonnaise. In a referring to something far scarier the dreaded Usa eur Drivers test. A the truth is the Usa eur Drivers test was developed by europeans in an attempt to keep americans off their highways. That a because there is nothing More frustrating to a european Motorist than the sight of an american Driver crawling along the autobahn at a Mere 90 Miles an hour. Toward this end they have developed a test so hard that Only three people have Ever passed it on the first attempt Albert Einstein Mario Andretti and a Man with a ticking briefcase who was last heard telling an instructor a just make sure i pass this thing and Well All get out of Here a in one after 10 straight hours of study i was reduced to a quivering Shadow of my former self. In my state i believed that a one Way Street and a one Way traffic meant the same thing. Furthermore i was convinced that the traffic cop on pages 30-33 of the study guide was Danny Thomas. Silly me i simply Hadnot begun to think like a a european i was still under the ridiculous american impression that a person should drive with four wheels on the ground Heck a i thought a person should stay off the sidewalk when operating a motor vehicle so in an attempt to ease the transition Between american and european driving let me answer a few questions frequently asked by americans preparing to drive abroad q if i come to an unmarked four Way Stop and there Are no vehicles at each of the other three roads who has the right of Way a the Driver with the most testosterone. Q How Many times can i expect to flunk the Drivers test a if you re average you la fail it just once. But my Good Friend Teresa Reeves of Schweinfurt who was wondering when i would Ever get around to mentioning her name in my column flunked her Drivers test twice. I think this might be some kind of record but i want to make that fact Public. Q is it True that there is no Speed limit on the autobahn a Good heavens no German authorities draw the line at Drivers exceeding the Speed of sound As the resulting sonic booms have been known to upset cows grazing near the Highway. Q How can i achieve a a driving pleasure a overseas a by using mass transit whenever possible. Cindy Chambers is a military family member living in Schweinfurt manner Judith Martin United features dear miss manners a what would you say is the proper Way to thank someone for an uncashed Check for years our relatives have Given us checks As gifts for special occasions and we have never cashed them. We do not feel right about accepting Money from family and have tried to Tell them we would appreciate a Plant or Flowers if they wish to Send us gifts. Otherwise we have asked them to Send us nothing but a card. When i Call to thank them for thinking of us they Tell us to be sure to Tell them what we used the Money for when we write them our thank you note. They know we re not using it for anything since the checks Are never cashed. But they still insist on a written note. What would you suggest we write gentle Reader a what an interestingly polite form of warfare you and your relatives Are conducting. Miss manners is impressed with the level of affectionate concern you Are both Able to maintain while each refusing to Budge on a matter on which it would be easy to Compromise. Miss manners agrees with your prejudice against receiving Money As presents and notes that you have managed to suggest an almost equally simple substitute. Nevertheless she can to quite countenance Messing up Peoples accounting systems by keeping their checks uncashed. It is just too mean. Thank you letters Are indeed due when pre sents Are Send. If you done to want to give in graciously about the checks then thank them sincerely for their thoughtfulness and add regretfully that you cannot accept their Money. Then enclose the uncashed Check so they can return the amount to their Bank balance. Dear miss manners a id like to know How miss manners feels about the increasing use of Telephone answering machines by individuals working within Large organizations. These machines Are used on their business extensions. Surely any office with More than five people can afford to have someone Man the phones at All times especially during business hours. To make matters worse these individuals done to even return the Call when a message is left. Gentle Reader a miss manners suspects that people always expect her to Side with them against any machine no matter How useful a function it May be serving. However it strikes her that simple message taking is something that machines do extremely Well especially compared with some people she has encountered. She would not be so Nosy As to suggest what others can or cannot afford but the answering machine seems preferable to the overworked operator who must Chew lunch while answering phones and resort to the hold Button or other forms of electronic torture. This is not to suggest that miss manners believes machines can replace human beings in More Complex tasks one of which is returning Telephone Calls. Miss manners feels you have blamed the machine system unjustly for failure to return your Calls. The answering machine was not required to do so. It already had its conversation with for the week of nov. 4 Scorpio oct. 23-nov. 21 watch out for impulsive acts done to take chances with hard earned savings. Mellow out on work front too. You be been pushing too hard. Make new friends. Sagittarius nov. 22-dec. 20 rejoice on the Home front. Jazz up your Domestic scene with Art flourishes. You in find the a missing link Quot in key relationship. Ride the magic carpet. Capricorn dec. 21-Jan. 19 individual and team sports share the limelight. Your athletic ability is second to none if you put your mind to it. Bold ideas arrive. Write them Down aquarius Jan. 20-feb. 18 keep your distance from relationship Battles. You re not the Only perfectionist you know. It takes two to argue. Get financial books in line for Holiday spending. Pisces feb. 19-March 20 take charge no prisoners allowed. Too much Hemming and hawing Isnit your style. Be Active in Community events. Your vivid imagination is a Gold mine. But use it wisely. Aries March 21-april 19 handle financial matters with kid gloves. Speak softly with relatives or authority figures. Waves of nostalgia hit. Take out photos and scrapbooks. Taurus april 20-May 20 spice up your love life. Be receptive to Friendly advice. Opposite sex offers pearls of Wisdom. Lend a helping hand to those in need. You reap Only what you sow. Gemini May 21-june 20 fire up your mind. Stop hanging out on the sidelines wishing for Center stage. Reveal your talents with renewed self Confidence. Refine storytelling talents. Cancer june 21-july 22 steer Clear of romantic cyclones. Waves come and go and this will too. Lift your mind above anxiety and stress. Find ingenious solutions to age old problems. Leo july 23-aug. 22 be very thankful for what you have. Accent Security. Done to press Luck by changing investments. Its your Cycle to crack the whip but challenges loom. Virgo aug. 23-sept. 22 let your Domestic Hovel Wilt. Put away paperwork and head for the country. Take along exercise equipment and Clear your mind through athletics. Take a trusted Friend. Libra sept. 23-oct. 22 proceed carefully with pet projects. Someone wants dearly what you have. Your instincts Are Fine but circumstances May not follow suit. Air out grievances with associates. Copley news service november 4,1990 sunday to plus c Page 19
