European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - November 18, 1990, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Letterman a lists no. 1 among hip things to know Milton Kent Baltimore evening Sun the tragically unzip among us still think that the topic of conversation is hit records or College football teams whenever top 10 is discussed. But insomniacs or the intellectually enlightened know better. Here Are the top 10 things you need to know about the real top 10 list 10. They appear nightly save for reruns on a late night with David let term an a thanks to the shows head writer Steve of Donnell. 9. The Only hard and fast Rule that of Donnell lives by when creating the top 10 list is a we do nothing horribly horribly offensive to god and Man. Otherwise almost anything  8. The concept was Only supposed to live for a Short time but four years after the first list the top 10s have become so popular that a collection of them has been published in a Book. That Book quickly made the new York times top 10 list of Best Selling paperbacks. 7. Neither of Donnell nor Letterman is bound top 10s�?T Success leads to spinoffs the top 10 lists on a late night with David Letterman have Given Rise to Many imitators. So following Letterman a Lead. And now from the Home office in Baltimore the City that time forgot comes some suggested top 10 lists _ top 10 rejected titles for Reagan a memoirs 10. Still hazy after All these years. 9. Fall asleep anywhere anytime. 8. How to make love to a shrewish domineering first lady. 7. Those parties at mayor barrys. 6. Hey a at least i did no to pick Quayle 5. Nancy Reagan s autobiography of Ronald Reagan. 4.1001 Sam Donaldson jokes. 3. Us. 2. What in a not still president 1. Hey Hinckley a Pardon this top 10 reasons the British lost the colonies .10. Hard to shoot straight with sissified powdered wigs falling in your eyes. 9. Wanted to just lose new Jersey but got carried away. 8. Colonists on steroids. 7, spent too much time guessing who was Gay in the Royal family. 6. Their diet Tea and crumpets. Our diet raw Squirrel meat and whiskey. 5. Serious problems with snuff abuse. 4. Lots of painful poking accidents trying to put on David Letterman and his co conspirators have started a fast spreading fad. By convention. The lists have appeared from the tops of moving vans from the giant scoreboard at Yankee stadium and the message Board in new Yorkus times Square. 6. Letterman has not always been the messenger of mirth. Steve Martin once delivered a top 10, and recently the Ever elusive Warren Beatty issued the a top 10 pet peeves of Dick  those pointy hats of theirs. 3. We had Batman. 2, wanted to get first draft Choice. 1. Uninspiring Battle cry lets win this one for our swishy inbred Monarch. Top 10 Good things about being a really dumb Guy 10. Never have to sit through Long Boring Nobel prize banquet. 9. Pleasant sense of Relief when Road runner gets away from Wile e. Coyote. 8. General electric executive dining room has great Clam chowder. 7. Get to have own talk show with Canadian bandleader. 6. Seldom interrupted by annoying request to Quot put that in Layman a  5. Stallone might play you in the movie. 4. Can fee Superior to really really dumb Guys. 3, maybe get to be vice president. 2. Already know the answer when people ask Quot what Are you a an idiot Quot 1. Fun bumper sticker id rather be drooling. Top 10 Hubble Telescope excuses 10. The Guy at Sears promised it would work Fine. 9. Some kids on Earth must be fooling around with a garage door opener. 8. There s a Little do Ohickey rubbing against the part that looks kind of like a Cowboy hat. 7. See if you can think straight after 12 Days of drinking Tang. 6. Bum with Squeegee smeared Lens at red Light. 5. Blueprints drawn up by that Quot hey Vern Quot Guy. 4, those Damn raccoons 3.  have used be components. 2. Ran out of quarters. 1. Race of super evolved galactic beings is screwing with us. Baltimore evening Sun 5. The lists Are from a fictitious a Home office that has wandered All Over the country Landing in such hamlets As Milwaukee Oklahoma City Lincoln neb. And Scottsdale Ariz. 4. The Home office site that has been Best received by its neighbors is the current spot Lebanon pa., which has showered the Letterman staff with Bologna and other foodstuffs in gratitude for the recognition. A they have gone cra2y Over this a said of Donnell of the town of about 25,000. A but when you go crazy in Lebanon pa., that a like sending off packages of pretzels to friends and  3. A list of the staff a favorite top 10s include things overheard in a general electric research lab Dan Quayle a National guard duties big foot a pet peeves fears of snuggles the fabric softener Bear and goofy audience Drivers a Cense photos. 2. One of the lists that was not permitted on the air was the top 10 signs that would be presidential Assassin John Hinckley was rehabilitated enough to be released from a Washington mental Hospital. A one of the things we wanted to do was an item that read a already has been signed up by Abc to do Harmonica Solo at Fords theater tribute to Ronald Reagan a a of Donnell said. Quot we  get across that we were trying to poke fun at the Absurdity of the notion that he had been rehabilitated at  and the no. 1 thing you should know about the top 10 list if you done to watch them every night Letterman and his staff will come to your House and make fun of you. Just kidding. And now two lists direct from the late night with David Letterman television show top 10 ways Saddam Hussein can win peace prize 10. Announce a new nerve Gas with a fresh Pine scent. 9. Play Bass with sting at next rain Forest concert. 8. Really Nail Talent portion of the Competition. 7. Go to Mcdonald a 28 Days straight. Watch Abc. Win Mcmillion donate it to Charity. 6. Locate the Guy who really played buckwheat. 5. Never be seen in Public without cute baby Kitten on shoulder. 4. Orchestrate David Lee Roth Van Halen reunion. A 3. Announce he a cutting Back on his schedule to aggressively pursue having a baby. 2. Get Guy who decides prize i hookers. And the no,1 Way. 1, by killing hts eff. Top 10 least popular mtg contests 10. Win stuff found lit 21 top s Beard. 9. Do time for Jarnes Brown. 8, locked in sting a a car trunk fantasy weekend. Quot 7. A Dale with Cher must be under 16. 6 win Michael Jacksons old nose. 5. Actually get to Leone of the new monkeys a not for a Day but forever. 4.100th caller gets to have dinner with 101st editor \ s a 3/shirt shopping with Paul Shaffer. 2. Peter Paul Andy Opi \ a a. And the no.1 least popular.1, try on meatloaf pants. S. New York Urna. Ltd Quot. Prize a couple of november 18,1990 sunday to plus c a Page 15