European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - July 14, 1991, Darmstadt, Hesse Be our guest a Quot Swift trip to Paris can Box you in Thomas Sweeney guest columnist the travel people arc marketing a new Lour package that allows their customers to make whirlwind visits to various european cities at reasonable prices. A flyer circulating at Hohenfels touts the Quot express Paris adults pay $69 to Board a bus at 9 . Friday for a journey to the City of lights. Return time is 9 . Sunday. Its a Quick cheap trip but More Effort is expended getting Back and Forth than enjoying the objective. Any bus trip you take Over a Long distance is going to be tedious and uncomfortable. You sit and sit and sit. You can to escape the misery through sleep. Try napping while crammed in a bus seat its hard enough when everything goes smoothly. Remember babies will cry toddlers will whine and there a always a joker with a big Mouth or a blaring Boom Box. You can look Forward to Long hours of tension and discomfort. Can you enjoy a Day in Paris after spending a sleepless night on that bus will you be Able to appreciate the armr Casuras in the louvre when looking through bloodshot eyes How can you relax when you know you have to Start another eight to 10-hour Marathon at Midnight this a deals is As charming As a movement to Contact combined with a meeting engagement and a withdrawal under enemy pressure. Only Well conditioned troops could survive it. No one could like it to really enjoy a tour you ought to stay in a Nice hotel for at least two nights. This gives you a base to Retreat to when you re grungy and tired. A. Its More expensive but it gives you Lime to relax and relish. After All you want a Day off after you be busted your butt getting where you re going. Now i know some of you will say �?o1 done to have the time or the Money to loll gag in the latin Quarter for two of but Why spend $70 just to torture yourself ill give you a belter Deal for $35. Here a the plan a you come Down to Hohenfels where ill lock you in a convex Container express that contains a. Four bus scats. B. A speaker system through which travel sounds will be piped in. C. Television sets simulating the front rear and Side windows. He appropriate Road sconces will be shown on the to sets. After 10 hours videotapes showing the highlights of your destination will be played after a few hours in town Well rerun the Road scenes for 10 hours. A when you get tired just Knock on the door and ill let you out. I wont hassle you like a real tour bus Driver. Head probably Tell you that the bus was still 300 Miles from the drop off Point. Ill even throw in videos of a second City and a ease of Beer for $45. Can you imagine seeing Berlin and Paris on the same ticket for Only $45? that a what i Call a real express tour. Thomas Sweeney works for the army in Hohenfels Germany. Send in your column plus a photo of yourself to be our guest sunday Magazine the stars and stripes Apo 09211 or Postrach 11 14 37, d-6100 Darmstadt 11, Germany. Tri Star pictures inc. John Travolta and Karstic Alley Star in look if to s talking too. Page 16.co hmm s from the cover.4-5 the Usa eur bund harmonizes music with soldiering. Rosemary Sawyer reports and Lynda Davidson provides photos. Army games.6 time for Nintendo Andy rooney.7 pounding out a diet books and language 8-9 an item from James Kilpatrick sunday is a weekly supplement of the stars and stripes editor Bucky Fox Art direction Susan p. Harris production Kelly Quinn Lisa Williams editorial assistance Marian Hamilton Louis Pierce Odds amp ends.10 Erma Bomhee analyses goats to plus. 11 Linda Blair takes unfair ribbing television listings .12-14 local Cable and satellite schedules on the tube.15 u7jo lost a China Beach Quot Home entertainment 16 Quot misery hardly miserable Joe Bob briggs.17 supreme court against disrobing this weeks films .18-19 Chuck Vinch lauds Quot terminator 2&Quot Complete cafes circuit listings classified ads .20-23 last laugh .24 Dave Barry cartoons so Page 2 a sunday july 14, 1991
