European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - July 21, 1991, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Odds amp end military wife commits dietary adultery when Hubby a gone Cindy Chambers columnist husbands beware we military wives Are leading double lives. It happens the minute you pack your Dulc bag and walk out the door. From that moment on those of us left behind commit. Mealtime adultery. Yes its hard to believe but the same woman what forces you to cat things like soybean curd cake and a Tofu Turkey surprised serves Coco puffs for dinner the night you leave for the Field. The dietetic tyrant who dishes up four wholesome Servings of vegetables each Day uses one Carrot the entire time you re deployed the kids needed a nose for their snowman. And the very person who badgers you into eating three Well balanced meals a Day puts herself on a diet consisting of everything left on the kids plates diet pop and twinkies. Geographical widows Don t completely ignore the four Basic food groups. The food groups just undergo a mysterious deployment based transformation. The fruit and vegetable group becomes the Bologna Winnie group. The bread group is replaced by the Frozen pizza group. And the meat eggs nuts group is anything containing Peanut butter. Your Beer bottles freeze at the Back of the refrigerator. Shelves fill with half finished glasses of Kool Aid leftover cans of beef a Roni several slices of used american cheese with Teeth Marks and a forgotten science project involving the effects of spit on jello. The dining room table becomes a burial ground for books Nintendo and discarded clothing. Meals Are served in front of the to. Dinner conversations by necessity Are limited to disagreements about whether contestants should buy vowels definitely not. Masters of subterfuge we swiftly return things to Normal in the final hours before your return. Manly nutritious groceries with leaves and or pictures of Lumberjacks reappear on the Kitchen shelves. To trays Are jammed under the bed until your next deployment. And the guru of gourmet herself begins a frantic weight loss program of Styrene Flavoured Rice cakes and slim fast. Of so we re cheating on you in the Kitchen. There Are Wose things. Wipe that shocked look off your face and help yourself to More Brussels sprouts. They re really very Good for you. Cindy Chambers is a military family member in Schweinfurt German miss manner Judith Martin United feature Syndicate dear miss manners i get irritated at salad bars when someone tries to put toppings on a salad without dressing. They All inevitably go tumbling off into the tomatoes and chickpeas. Is it of to cuss in a letter i just Shook up my bottle of whiteout without putting the cover on. Now in be dumped my Kool Aid. Maybe i should just write you tomorrow luckily the Crouton dumpers Are not so rude As to leave them there. They usually fish most of them out with their Forks or their fingers a bless their hearts. Putting the dressing on first is an excellent Way to glue those Little items onto the salad plate and keep them from tumbling off into the vegetables. Am i slumming it for dinner too often or could we possibly allow the Croutons and Bacon bits to be seen As garnishes and put on last gentle Reader Well now. Lets first Calm Down shall we miss manners  want you to spill whiteout in the Kool Aid. She suspects that your objection to what would otherwise be other Peoples problems however lamentable has to do with the fingers in the chickpeas. And indeed there should be no such intrusions into common supplies. During the gathering you describe Forks would still be clean. But she has a hard time imagining How this could Lead to the Liscomb ovulation you describe. She nevertheless appreciates the practical Wisdom of your suggestion and is Happy to pass it on. Dear miss manners what do you think of a Man who repeatedly starts conversations with waitresses while eating with a woman he has invited out he is just a platonic acquaintance though he has indicated he would like to be otherwise. In a not particularly attracted to him but he is adventurous and eager to show me new places All Over the City a and who knows lately in be usually been the one to make the phone Calls. Still after yesterday evening i m considering never seeing him again. The first time we went out his intense interest in the waitress was understandable since he knew her. But this last time he practically interviewed the woman who turned out to share his interest in the theater which i done to. He found out where she lived with which roommates and even How much rent she paid. I finally had to profess interest myself to save face. I was annoyed with myself for being annoyed a after All i have spurned his advances a but said a Why done to you two just Exchange phone numbers a when we stopped for dessert somewhere else he asked the waitress about her accent and tried to Start a conversation. He insists that he was just a Friendly Type and not a a interested in these waitresses at  a the appropriate response to All this he Calls me standoffish. I suppose i should Tell you that i met him at a neighbourhood restaurant last december when i was in an unusually open state of mind. Its not the Way i usually meet my friends. 1 gentle Reader evidently however it is the Way he meets his. And miss manners gathers that he intends to go on doing so in direct violation of the Rule associated even with the rather primitive method of the a pickup a that while courting one such catch one does not actively fish for others. The possibility that he is doing this in order to Jolt you out of your ambivalence toward him is not Worth pursuing. A gentleman should have More Graceful techniques at his disposal. One of these Days he will get his comeuppance from a waitress who justifiably feels that she docs not have to tolerate personal overtures from the customers. You May not want to wait around for this embarrassment. Miss manners believes that your time would be better spent meeting gentlemen of More conventional manners in More conventional  for the week off july 22 Aries March 21-april 19 take Long Range View of finances. Stick to tried and True in business. Exercise Peak performance. Give Romance a Holiday. Taurus april 20-May 20 give emotions the heave to. Find balance with friends. Take nature walks to restore spirit. Stress family relationships. Gemini May 21-june 20 participate in group activities. Shop around for Best deals. Give love another whirl. Explore your creative artistry. Cancer june 21-july 22 learn the ropes at Home. Revel in the arts. Go window shopping for Home refurbishment. Watch finances closely. Leo july 23-aug. 22 Quality is better than Quantity. Express intimacies to close friends. Done to shirk responsibilities. Smile away the blues. Virgo aug. 23-sept. 22 plan a mini vacation. Allow your inner child to glow. Leisure activities take precedence keep erratic moods in Check. Libra sept 23-oct 22 Road blocks Are Down. Express your artistic vision and scribble your thoughts in a journal racing with your passions backfires. A Scorpio oct 23-nov. 21 family issues Are front and Center. Be the Diplomat. Careful what you wish for. You re Lucky in love. Sagittarius nov. 22-dec. 20 happiness Means busyness. Sex Appeal pours from you. Problems can t be solved haphazardly. Communicate your desires. Capricorn dec. 21-Jan. 19 meet conflicts with inner strength. Practice tender Loving care. Be patient with others foibles. Hit the gymnasium. Aquarius Jan. 20-feb. 18 Don t beat around the Bush with loved ones. Explosions result from repression. Keep feet on ground romantically. Keep promises. Pisces feb. 19-March 20 pie in the sky plans fall apart. Stress sincerity with colleagues. Solicit business opinions. Cultivate Joy and happiness. Copley news service Page 10 a sunday july 21, 1991