European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - September 29, 1991, Darmstadt, Hesse Desert army brings this flyby Down to Earth Rob Dooley guest columnist ii became obvious that the iraqi Mig did t Sec me As he stupidly started to try and turn into my Wingman a which put his Tail pipes right in front of me i uncaged my missile hearing the heat tone shrieking in my ears and depressed the a Pickle with a muffled a whoosh a the missile started making a beeline right for the Mig the missile s smoke Trail suddenly merged with the enemy aircraft and a fireball Crup. A they air Force stand to in 20 minutes time to get up and outta a the sack a i opened my eyes staring at the Side of my tent. My watch said 034 1. It was the Start of another Day in the desert. With the army. I or an air Force Pilot life in the desert with the army can he such a cultural shoe. Erah kind of like doing outward bound Only its All paid for. Ii you thought being sent to an overseas duty location made you feel like a foreigner try being an air Force Pilot who finds him sell on the ground surrounded by a sea of Green Brown and Tan suited soldiers with the nearest thing to a cockpit being the Drivers seat in your a humvee. Adapt. Improvise. Overcome. Ii you be never had to search for a spot to go to the bathroom you might find this look into another services Way of life in the Field interesting. First let s talk about getting one of the basics a food. The army puts a lot of Effort into getting a real meal out to its troops in the Field. Well this trooper did no to get it right the first time. About 15 minutes after the first Call went out that a hot breakfast was being served i poked my nose around the Corner and saw Only one Guy in line. Seizing a plate i got in line right behind him Only to hear erupt from behind me a they air Force Check six a a they what the Quot and a lunch of other unprintable exclamations. I turned around to see a line of about 15 people stretching around the Corner Wilt every one spaced about five meters apart. Apparently this was the a tactical lineage Quot meal formation used to make a sniper s Job tougher a kind of like flying tactical formation in an of a it. I could relate. And took my place at the end of the line. I got my food and found a Nice bumper to eat on. Chow in the tents was verboten since food attracted mice and mice attracted snakes. The mice i could Deal with and did on occasion but the Snake part pretty much had me sold on outdoor dining. Sandstorms were about the Only reason to cat a la tent though a mess tent was erected once in a while when time permitted. Of. That s food. Let s talk about another Basic a clothing. More specifically washing your clothes. Being an air Force Type 1 must admit i be been spoiled whenever five gone try somewhere. There was always a free washing machine Down the Hall in the boys. The biggest hassle with that was maybe having to wait your turn while somebody else did his Wash. In the desert there was no Wail because you did your Wash whenever you Felt like it a by hand in a bucket. Being a Little naive upon my arrival i changed my socks and jockeys on a daily basis so it look Only about a week before it was Wash Day. And after sloshing through about half my laundry pile. I came to the realization that a i did no to want this to be a weekly affair and b i was going to have to Cut Down on the size of my Wash loads. So just like pulling the throttle Back and loitering for Max endurance i decided to go for Max endurance with the clothes. I Learned i was t the Only one going for greatness when one of my fellow alos air Liason officers expounded upon the fact that he had t changed his underwear for a certain number of Days. My wife and family did me a big favor when they later sent car packages filled with new socks and shorts. This allowed me to ceremoniously Bury the old ones throughout the deserts of saudi Arabia Iraq and Kuwait. Some were burned too to ensure that 1 would t upset the delicate environmental balance that existed in the desert a never minding the fact that at one Point there were close to 100 Oil Wells burning less than k Miles away or that Cactus did no to even want to live out there. One of the troops thought he had the laundry problem licked by mailing off a care package Home to gel his Wash done. Little did he know the turnaround time on his package would be a month plus. It was t Long before he Bingo cd out on clean underwear but managed to get resupplied at a desert by thanks cafes from All of us who had to work with him. The army lifestyle also brought a new twist to taking a Shower. One evening while heading to the homemade showers we had one of my cohorts asked if i Hadnot already showered that week. 1 told him Quot yeah about three Days he slowly Shook his head and told me that i had two More Days to go before i would be a cleared in hot Quot on the showers again even though the water Wasny to. I Learned about the live Day Rule in effect three for women in Between showers to conserve water. It became pretty easy to Tell who was coming up on Day 5. Max conserve with the water and Max endurance on the underwear. Old spice was do finitely a player Down there. Not to detract from the stately Tome of this article i should address another facet of life that had to be Calth with in the Field a personal us sanitation. Along with showers outhouses were trucked out to our initial desert locations to help make us Feci More at Home. So what s to Tell Well it was briefed and Learned that Good old number 1�?� and a number 2�?� were not to be expended in the same place. One Burns while the other does no to so you had to be sure of what ordnance you were Quot employing Quot on which nothing like a Little pre flight planning to help make a Mission go smoothly. Fouls were Lough to assess but when discovered brought a lot of grief on the offender. The outhouses were great while we had them. When the army went into High gear and started rolling Over iraqi real estate you were left on your own to Lake care of and when you re wearing a flight suit covered by a chemical suit Over which was bulletproof Vest covered by a survival Vest or Load bearing equipment along with your chemical mask a taking car of business Quot could Lake up a major part of your Day. Maybe in the future somebody will come up with a chem suit that has a or. Denton Flap on the Back huh these were some of the Carcer broadening experiences As seen through the Blue tinted eyes of one air Force Guy who spent desert shield storm with the army. There Are a lot More stories to be found not in your Library of Congress but by cornering an Alo Etc Romad Talo weather or any other Bike Sailer that grunted out the conflict rolling with the tanks and helicopters in the Sand. While the lifestyle May have sounded austere it was always More than adequate. And after seeing How the bad Guys had been living and How the kuwaitis were scraping by the lifestyle we had seemed downright luxurious. If my wife wants to go camping on our next vacation though ill be More than Happy to Spring for a hotel. Capt. Rob Dooley is stationed at Wiesbaden a. Germany. Send in your column plus a photo of yourself to be our guest sunday Magazine the stars and stripes Apo 09211 or Postrach 11 14 37, d-6100 Darmstadt 11, Germany t m i n i s 1 rom the cover. 4-6 on the air. Is Tost desert slum is. An s Robert Rios ahead of his air time. Andy Rooney. 7 Home entertainment. 16 racking the util cases. Quot nothing but trouble a offers some. Rooks and language. 8-9 Joe Bob Briggs. 17 Frankfurt \ Hook intr. Quot the howling 17�?� Worth a sixth look. Odds amp ends. 10 this weeks films. 18-19 i Nua loom Hack hems Ioni Iii nun Chuck \ Inch Quot rack draft Quot not so hot. To plus. 11 Complete a. circuit listings. Johnny arson \ last show. Classified ads. 20-2j television listings. 12-14 last laugh. .24 1 of Oil. Cahla and sat Loti schedules. Pac Liany nose his language. Sunday is a weekly supplement of the stars and stripes editor Buck it Fox Art direction ivies production kill Quinn i in Vilmanis editorial assistance Marian in million oils in Ilell a sunday is ill Mir a. 1991
