European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - September 29, 1991, Darmstadt, Hesse                                From Page 5 were caused when people led separate lives for months then came Back together. A the husband came Back and All the Money was gone or there was a change in the rules. The wife had maybe adapted her lifestyle More to the needs of the kids a Wisdom said. For instance one wife began tucking the children in bed with her at night. When the father came Home from the War the family had trouble resolving who would sleep where. When couples reunited there was also a a question of control a Wisdom said. A who controls the Check Book now How frequently do we make love who controls the car Quot people should try to a identify control issues and then talk in a non confrontational Way about issues on which they generally disagree a he said. Many of the marriage partners he a counselling have problems with infidelity. A some people could not Deal with their loneliness whether male or female a he said. Desert lore among those at the front included plenty of stories about unfaithful wives Back Home. And vice versa. More than one marriage was ruined by Battlefield romances. However when Wisdom returned to Germany in late March he Learned that Many talks of the Hom front were blown out of proportion. He Calls them �?o10-90 problems a because 10 percent of the people were getting 90 percent of the attention. A the 90 percent of the attention it took to Deal with that problem a Wisdom said Quot in turn spurred rumours that made it look like 90 percent of the spouses were being  the turmoil caused by the deployment gave younger families a crash course in the extremes of army life said maj. Loree Sutton a psychiatrist with the 1st army div in Ansbach Germany. A a it a a Tough Job but soldiers Are a Hearty lot a she said. A and its not for everyone. There May it be some families who be decided this is not for them in the Long run. And that san important  contributing to this report stall writers elite Bathon Vince Crawley Gary Pomeroy Randy Pruitt and Janet Howells Tierney. A amps Vinca Crowley Well after the Welcome Home parties not every military dude has found fun and  War vets sons targeted for couns Lingby Janet Howells Tierney Washington Bureau the school aged sons of desert storm service members showed a greater need for counselling than girls during their parents absence a recent army study found. About 58 percent of the boys compared to 42 percent of girls were identified by parents and teachers As needing counselling according to a Survey that questioned More than 3,200 people at seven stateside posts. A boys tend to act out More a said it. Col. David j. Westhuis of the army a Community and family support Center in Alexandria a. A girls usually withdraw and keep to themselves so the results May reflect the Way boys As opposed to girls show symptoms of  although 109 children from a Pool of 1,600 were identified As needing counselling Only two thirds received treatment. Preliminary results of the study a second phase show that most of the children returned to Normal after the return of the deployed Parent. However adolescents appear to be having More difficulty adjusting Westhuis said. A teens Are More aware of the world around them and in turn were More affected by the knowledge of the danger their Parent was in Quot he said. The army instituted the Survey to determine How Active duty and Reserve families were coping with Middle East deployments Westhuis said. The second phase was conducted after soldiers returned to the states. Included among those questioned were spouses family support groups rear detachment staffs and family assistance Center staffs. At least 37 percent of the adults surveyed said that playing the role of both mom and dad was emotionally stressful. The research team concluded that additional military support for families May be needed. Representatives from the army a research institutes forces come the training and doctrine come and military chaplains compiled the results of the Survey they suggested that a closer relationship Between the family groups and the rear detachment commands should be developed in anticipation of future deployments. The relationship should include actual training and written guidance Westhuis said. Additional financial and logistical support also is needed specifically More donations and emergency transportation the Survey results showed. Multiple sources of information would have eased the worry Many spouses and children Felt during the persian Gulf War researchers concluded. Briefings toll free Telephone lines newsletters and the local Media were listed As necessary to the emotional Well being of families which in the end affected the morale of deployed soldiers Westhuis said. Another Survey will be conducted in october and november to update the status of families affected by operation desert  sunday september 29. 1991