European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - October 6, 1991, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Knocking their Heads of lettuce off at commissary Antoinette Herrin guest columnist i was turning the Corner when i saw the crowd gathered in a Circle. As i moved closer. I heard two voices Rise above the crowd spewing angry words. Closer yet and heard the scuffle begin. Sound like something you a buy tickets to Sec no need to. Just visit the commissary on payday. The fighters Here were not Mike Tyson and Vander Holyfield. They were two women who had managed to pick up the same head of lettuce at the same time. That thank goodness was t the cause of the fight. But when ones shopping Carl went North and the others South neither woman would Budge without a fight. That a when we onlookers heard about the lettuce that started the bad feelings. Tights arc most definitely not the Norm at my commissary in Giessen Germany but arguments Are plentiful. The reason perhaps there Aren t enough rules of Courtesy. For example the lines to the checkout counter go up the aisles. When one person Heads North and another South the result is that someone must Back out and let the other through first. If there were signs above the aisles that read a one Way Only with an Arrow pointing the direction to follow the problem would decrease. Another fuse that leads to consumer explosions is the fact that the lines to the checkout counters go up the aisles. So if aisle 4 has six people in line and aisle 7 has Only one the person who has been standing in line the longest does no to necessarily get out first. Solution have one line. With a commissary employee As the traffic cop to keep the customers going to the line that a available the soonest. Rhein main docs it this Way and its successful. When in the commissary perhaps we should follow the five commandments of shopping i. Thou shall not steal from thy commissary nor a neighbors shopping cart for thy neighbor hath taken that fruit for himself and thou would not like it if thy neighbor took thou a sirloin. Ii. Thou Shalt never Ever leave thy child with thou a cart in the checkout line while thou finishes shopping. It a kith those who Are behind thy child wish to break eth commandment number 3. Iii. Thou Shalt not kill. In. Thou Shalt keep thy Mouth shut when thou Art in an insulting mood due to thy daily stresses. For when thou speak eth these words aloud thy company commander May stand eth behind thy behind and thou May get to shop at Piggy wiggly in the states sooner than thou had hop eth to. V. Thou Shalt always Haveth thy . Card \ i i \ i s Sidney Poitier is recognized As the Jackie a Phinson of the film Industry. Page 11. From the cover.4-6 the military Bazaar experience. Andy Rooney president Bush might Brake his run. Books and language.8-9 Norman Mailer delivers a new one. Odds amp ends. 10 Erma Bambeck a garbage Lime. To plus a Sidney Poitier led the film race. Television listings.12-14 local Cable and satellite schedules. On the air. 15 questioning the Joy of Quot jeopardy Quot Home entertainment .16 a cadence Quot catches your attention. Joe Bob briggs.17 the intimate tale of the video tape. This weeks films .18-19 Chuck Vine Quot mystery Date a lands three stars. Complete cafes circuit listings. Classified ads.20-23 last laugh. 24 Dave Ham smells something funny. Ration card and Check stamped at front door with san duty phone and unit address ready so that customers behind ctr thou can get Home sooner too. Commissary shopping has its advantages. Perhaps if a few changes could be made customers would be More Likely to see More of them. And less Likely to fight Over the lettuce. Antoinette Herrin is a military family member in Giessen Germany. Send in your column plus a photo of yourself to be our guest sunday Magazine the stars and stripes Apo 09211 or Postrach 11 14 37, d-6100 Darmstadt 11, Germany. Yorimi picture Teri Polo stars in mystery Date. Page 19. Sunday is a weekly supplement of the stars and stripes editor Bucky Fox Art direction Wes Booher production Kelly Quinn Rita Maynard editorial assistance Marian Hamilton Louis Pierce