European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - October 6, 1991, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Men and women Are still talking trash Erma 80mbeck Universal press Syndicate on the counter by the sink is a bag of garbage. It has been there a while. Its future is iffy. It is caught in the Middle of a revolution Between two forces women who want it All and men who arc trying to jump Start their masculinity. Authors Betty Friedan Gloria Steinem Robert Bly and Sam keen got us to this Point with their unsettling books on the roles men and women should play in our society. The Battle rages. She so when arc you going to take out the garbage he give me a break. I am trying to reclaim my masculinity and i know it Isnit at the garbage can. Why done to you do it she because i have buried my rage for traditional roles and am no longer fulfilled doing crud detail. He i knew you a say that. My entire life has been motivated by guilt and shame. In a not Happy being a wimp she you know what this is All about ill Tell you what this is All about. Its a backlash to my assertive quest for Equality and Independence. Dustin Hoffman in Kramer is. Kramer was not ashamed to be a Domestic sensitive Man and he was Happy. Heso was mrs. Ingalls in Little House on the Prairie and she took out the garbage. She she was bored depressed neurotic and unfulfilled. She did no to know who she was. He look my rite of passage includes birth coming of age marriage and death. It says nothing about transporting garbage. You cooked it you Bury it she its a male thing Isnit it Phil Donahue and Alan Alda used to talk about breaking stereotypes. He it s not a male thing. Its women wielding primal Power Over men. She what Are you saying that John Wayne never took out the garbage he i am saying men arc just beginning to nibble on the cookie of consciousness and it s All right for us to have negative feelings about women. She what you arc really saying is that you done to care what 1 am feeling and i am still a repressed minority. He i can to respond to that. In a still not comfortable with intimacy. They look at the garbage for a full minute she softly sweetheart i done to want to take away one of your last bastions of maleness which represents your strength and responsibility. He softly Honey i done to want to discriminate against you. Garbage is egalitarian. The garbage is still  Mann Kusby Judith Martin United feature Syndicate dear miss manners a Friend of mine who had agreed to be a bridesmaid at her Sisters june wedding gave birth to a baby in november. Because my Friend had gained weight during pregnancy she received much teasing when she her Bride to be sister and the other bridesmaids selected the bridesmaids dresses. My Friend now wears a size 12 dress while the others All Wear size 6. She was told that she would have to lose weight and the Bride ordered the dress for her in a size 8. There is a Little twist to this Story in that the Bride is not just an everyday tyrant but a nutritionist who therefore qualifies As a tyrant health arbiter. She ordered the weight loss for my friends own Good As Well As for the Good of the wedding. Needless to say my friends feeling were Hurt. I think this Story shows that the insults being hurled at people Are inextricably linked with self righteousness. It appears that the i sulters feel they have such a High calling that they Are not bound by any sense of politeness or Mutual respect among people. Where will it All end i have a fearful vision. Soon the Bride will require that All members of the wedding party get plastic surgery lest the wedding Day be ruined when the video photographer captures an unseemly bump on a nose or an a tucked Tummy. Likewise the bad health habits of the deceased will relieve those attending a funeral of any obligation to mourn. Instead of tearfully kissing a Flower and tossing it on top of a towered casket the funeral attendees Wilt throw globs of hamburger meat eggs or cigarette Butts depending on which vice is perceived As having caused the death. Paying respect will be pass6 a people will gather to pay their insults. You will be asked such etiquette questions As a my Cousin has reserved rooms for her bridesmaids not Only in the most expensive hotel but also in the most expensive Hospital for the bridesmaids liposuction. I cannot afford both events so would it be proper to have the liposuction done at a cheaper local Hospital a a at my friends fathers funeral everyone threw Cige Ratte Butts As he was a heavy smoker but this greatly upset my Friend who Felt that since the ultimate cause of death was a heart attack red meat should have been  gentle Reader miss manners is impressed with your analysis of the egotism of rampant do Good ism. Indeed the amount of vanity necessary to enable a person to believe that her concern for the welfare of others absolves her of the need to consider their feelings is staggering. But surely the victims such As your Friend and the sympathizers such As you will protect miss manners from the sort of etiquette question you envisage. Dear miss manners at casual events where Short sleeves Are appropriate at least part of my Tattoo which extends from my forearm to my hip is visible. Along with an amazing array of rude questions which i can handle total strangers take License to touch the artwork grabbing at my Arm and pulling on my sleeve a and worse. Were there hostile or lascivious intent i would know exactly How to respond but this is rarely the Case. The offenders seem so mesmerized by the intricacy of my demography that they Are like curious children with no awareness that they Are groping at the body of a human being. Please miss manners have you any suggestion for a gentle gracious Way to Tell people to keep their Grubby mitts to themselves gentle Reader museums employ guards signs and alarms to prevent people from handling their Art. In your Case miss manners supposes that a guard would be too expensive and a sign might take up space you prefer to leave Bare. She therefore suggests the alarm method. When touched act alarmed. Pull Back look horrified and make a noise. You May then soften the effect in View of the persons relatively innocent to lives by saying a a in a sorry but you startled  Libra sept. 23-oct. 22 you look even younger More vibrant than usual. Music and entertainment capture your attention. Scorpio oct. 23-nov. 21 resting in own laurels won t produce results you expect. Every idea has its own moment. Sagittarius nov. 22-dec. 20 you feel like floating Over new Conquest other personal Triumph. Very easy to lose concentration to physical delights. Capricorn dec. 21-Jan. 19 a Good time to thrust self Forward in business and Money matters watch Blind Side because others Are not As ethical As you. Aquarius Jan. 20-feb. 18 does your Boss Ever shut up you feel like wielding Large club Over obnoxious has been associate Pisces feb. 19-March 20 person you Call refuses to answer. Own answering machine gives you beeps. Creative pulse is surging. Aries March 21-april 19 you la have to put up with invitation to visit relatives. Telephone brings Prospect of hot Date valuable Contact. Taurus april 20-May 20 put wanderlust into Concrete form you succeed at organizing plan and juggling finances. Gemini May 21-june 20 tendency is to jump ship now without proper reflection of ramifications. Ability to judge inner qualities is Sharp. Cancer june 21-july 22 prepare a special feast for family and friends compromised position is exposed but secret is still unknown outside your Circle. Leo july 23-aug, 22 work on Basic skills writing ability and peruse different Reading sources. Practice speaking with More authority. Virgo aug. 23-sept. 22 you hear Good news from authority figure Basic values work standards Are evaluated. Fickle nature uncalled for. Copley nows service a sunday october 6, 1991