European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - December 22, 1991, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Miss m wars Judith Martin dear miss manners my husband and 1 plan to invite 30 friends to a Christmas parly at our Home. We would like to include in the form of a note at the Bottom of the invitation a request for an item to he donated to the homeless shelter for its Christmas dinner. Would this he better included in this manner or achieved at a different time and in another Way if it is acceptable could you suggest How 1 might word the request gentle Reader miss manners appreciates your delicacy in worrying about the needs of your guests and the homeless rather than assuming that the virtue of the latter concern cancels out your obligations As a Host. You cannot charge admission to a party that you give even admission on behalf of the unfortunate. Inviting people to a party and then telling them that they must donate an item to Charity is impertinent As Well As inhospitable. But you can organize j drive to Supply food for the shelter. Dash off a note to your friends saying that you Are doing this and if they would like to bring an item to your House you will undertake to pass it along a and that you Hope 1 hey ii stay for supper As Well. You will notice that what miss manners has done is merely to turn your invitation upside Down. But it makes All the difference in the world that you Are entertaining people participating in a charitable drive rather than requiring Charity of those who come to be your guests. Dear miss manners during the Christmas season we receive a number of invitations to parties. Perhaps you can Clear up a discussion my wife and 1 have had about the proper etiquette required when you receive an invitation with  on it. First what is the actual meaning second what response is required for  and for . Regrets Only Quot there is no discussion on Quot regrets  do you Call the Host in each instance gentle Reader How can miss manners not respond to your excessive Courtesy that it is slightly excessive you will understand when she explains that the initials which the fastidious Render As .�?T�?T stand for Quot Repon Dez soil Vous Plait Quot the last three words being French for  you have therefore asked her to a please  As miss manners believes that there should be As much Courtesy in the world As possible she is rather charmed than otherwise. But please your response must be to respond. Even people who offer such confused versions As "r.s.v.p. A regrets Only Quot deserve a response to genuine invitations As opposed to Ira Dulcet come on disguised As invitations such As Quot we invite you to buy 10 tickets at $50 each a  people who give parties simply have to know who will be attend them unless they absolutely swear otherwise by using that admittedly practical but vainglorious expression a regrets Only a in which the Host takes it upon himself to endow the reluctant guest with a regret he May not feel. However you  always Call. Sometimes you get to write unless the instructions about replying actually contain a Telephone number written invitations require written responses. Acceptable instructions also include the straightforward a please respond Quot or Quot the favour of a response is requested Quot Complete with the silly English a a us in favour. That sigh you hear is miss manners remembering when nothing was said on an invitation about responding because everyone who had any sense at All knew that hosts have to know who is attending their parties so they just answered without being nagged. United feature Syndicate hokum it i s Capricorn dec. 21-Jan. 19 like the Bear in Winter you May want to hibernate. Nothing is really As it seems. Take time to dream. Aquarius Jan. 20-feb. 18 gather your friends around you in Celebration. On a More practical note review your group insurance policy. Pisces feb. 19-March 20 High career Cycle puts you on lop of the world. Make an All out Effort to Shine superiors approve. Aries March 21-april 19 the spotlight is on exotic travel foreign places and things. Investments made a year ago come to fruition sell Taurus april 20-May 20 you get the urge to transform and regenerate your life. Like the Phoenix out of its ashes you can soar. Gemini May 21-june 20 partnership issues Are Foremost on your mind this week. Think twice before entering into Legal commitments. Cancer june 21-july 22 give your attention to matters that Are detail oriented a neighbor can assist you with the red tape Leo july 23-aug. 22 take the Edge off and make an honest attempt to enjoy yourself. To creative. Write paint or draw Virgo aug. 23-sept 22 spend As much time As possible around the House. Let go of the past and look to the future Libra sept. 23-oct. 22 learning something new will add another dimension to your character greetings come from far away Scorpio oct. 23-nov. 21 reorganize your financial plan to reflect your current values. You Are Rich in spirit spend wisely. Sagittarius nov. 22-dec 20. The present week Marks a period of new beginnings. This would be an appropriate time to pamper yourself. Copley news service looking like id turns out to be hairy experience Cindy Chambers the other morning i woke to find my worst Nightmare had come True i looked like my id card. It Wasny to so much the fact that my skin had taken on the Gray flesh tones popularized by Black and White id photos. That a Norma for anyone who lives in Germany Long enough. It was my hair. A Wake up a i screamed in my husbands ear. A my hair looks like Conway Twitty again a Quot do you mean your hair looks like Conway Twitty a hair or that its actually shaped like Conway Twitty a he asked without opening an Eye. Quot there a a difference you  i ignored him a Why docs it have to do this to me now just when we re about to embark on our Madcap Holiday social whirl Quot i ran to the phone and frantically dialled the number of the american Beauty shop on Post. While i waited for the Hairdresser to Check her appointment Book my mind spun with thoughts of All the bad haircuts in be gotten Over the years. There was the time i was 4 years old and requested a Hairdo a just like Donna  i looked like Donna Reed All right a in her challenging role As a 4-Ycar-old suffering from a bad Pixie haircut. There was last year when i found my self asking the beautician if my a a permanent could be made  in Between there were hundreds of haircuts that defied description and frequently Gravity. The beautician came Back on the line. A we can squeeze you in three years from next thursday a she said. So despite my Rule never to go to a Beauty shop with the word a a frizz in its name i found myself hanging up and calling the German Fri Scur. They could Sec me that very afternoon. When i arrived a woman with purple hair shoved me into a chair. Determined not to be an ugly american despite my Hairdo 1 proceeded to give specific instructions in my very Best German. Quot i have too much hairs a i told her. A would you please subtract it in a fashionable manner a fortunately she ignored me. Hair flew. Minutes later she handed me a Mirror. Yes yes i agreed brightly. A this is indeed a snipping of much modern Impact a i had finally gotten exactly what id wanted for years. And ill bet in a the Only woman at the Christmas party with a haircut just like Donna Reeds. Many clamber a is a military family member in Schweinfurt Ger-page10 a sunday december 22, 1991