European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - January 5, 1992, Darmstadt, Hesse Apostrophes go miss sing in air ,1 rav Nicholson r guest columnist _ along time ago in an elementary school classroom in mount Kisco . For you Dave Barry fans it s right next to Armonk Learned that the apostrophe denotes Possession or contraction. You May recall that it replaces missing letters in that it Falls before the a is Quot in singular possessive nouns girl s and plural possessives that Don t end in a is Quot children s or people Sand that it follows the a a so Quot in the Case of plural nouns ending in Quot so boys. In recent years it has become apparent that 1 somehow missed a chapter in the lesson on apostrophes. Perhaps it was preempted by an air raid Drill in Ogue at the Lime. Perhaps 1 was dream ing at the time about visiting Europe someday. Or perhaps it is simply that my memory of the event is fading. On the other hand maybe they just did no to bother teaching optional uses Back then. After All it was Well before the age of the Small computer. In any Case it now appears to he acceptable to use the apostrophe any Lime an Quot a Quot Falls at the end of a word regardless of whether Possession is involved. Sadly Bee use people with respectable credentials sometimes introduce it into print it is regarded As Correct. More often though it offends the unwary Eye in Public places. You need not venture far to find examples such As sales help needed. Video s for rent. Try our Fine wine s. Id curd required to Cash Check s. Sale items. What All of the above items Are missing is an object of Possession. With some creativity though practice May be gained in giving your right Pinky legitimate Lime on the keyboard i bought this on the Sale s final Day. The video s Case is missing. The wine s flavor was enhanced by the meal. The checks engraving was incorrect. The item s Price was mis marked. The words in question May also form legitimate contractions this sales great. This video s Lousy. _ Phis wine s fermented. This Check s a phony. This item s overpriced. I thought that i had Learned to live with the rampantly misused apostrophe until the Day i spotted the Mother of All misplaced apostrophes while putting in paces on the stairmaster in the base gym a Banner of encouragement proclaimed it All Start s with the heart. Quite frankly it almost stopped my heart in mid step. What on Earth. 1 wondered was an apostrophe doing before the final a a so on the third person singular of a regular verb perhaps the intent was to Shock the athlete Back to his her senses. Unfortunately this travesty upon the English language is not an isolated incident. The Prospect of what lies ahead or is it lie s ahead is truly frightening. After the apostrophe s Conquest of the non possessive plural noun and the third person singular of a Reglar verb where will it be mis placed sic next a rav Nicholson works at Rhein main a Germany Send in your column plus a photo of yourself to be our guest sunday Magazine the stars and stripes Apo 09211 or Postrach 11 14 37, d-6100 Darmstadt 11, f rom thf3 cover .4-7 religion mul the military. Books and language. 8-9 exploring a Kansas county in Quot prayer the. Quot Odds amp ends .10 c indy Chambers from had to Waist in Dennany. To plus. It Tom Clancy a not Happy with movie. Television listings 12-14 local Cable and satellite schedules. On the air .15 Jaelyn Smith tops on to Home entertainment .16 Quot terminator 2&Quot hits the Small screen. Joe Bob Briggs. 17 of i bringing the Nashville network into the 70s. This weeks films .18-19 Chuck Vitich four stars for Quot lug so. Quot Complete cafes circuit listings. Classified ads .20-23 last laugh .24 by win of the Chru mussels. Sunday is a weekly supplement of the stars and stripes editors Ducky l of Hetty a Smuin Art direction Peter Jaeger production Kelly Quinn editorial assistance Marian Hamilton Louis Pieree Tri Star Factura Arnold Schwarzenegger and Linda Hamilton Are linked in a struggle to survive in terminator 2 judgment Day. Page 16. Page 2 a sunday january 5. 1992
