European Stars and Stripes (Newspaper) - January 12, 1992, Darmstadt, Hesse                                Be our guest trying to find a letter can be a lost cause Marietta f Hoggard guest columnist hey Honey have you seen the letter from champs that came in the mail last week a no other words coming from my spouse Are More terrifying than Quot have you seen a i sit quietly for a moment heart Frozen in the Hope that just this once i have seen it. A a it son top of the refrigerator with the car payment Hook Quot id say. Head smile and Rill would be Well on the Home front again. But i can Only remember receiving the envelope and a Brief discussion about it late while stirring the instant Gravy. A a in la take care of it a he said. Quot that a  she said. My head begins to throb with the realization that now is later and the envelope is gone. 1 Hope i did no to Doodle on it and throw it away. Tentatively we begin the search. I hear his frantic hands opening i he Kitchen junk drawer and the shuffling of papers screw Drivers and Jar lids. I know it can to be there unless he put it there. I never open that drawer not even when in a desperate for a bread twist tic and there must be 50 of them in there. My own search takes me onto the Dresser top. Through my purse and under the China Cabinet Bric a Brac and Knickknacks. Some part of my brain knows what happened to the envelope and is having too much fun to Tell me just yet. It s your to a ult. You know. If you d try a Little concentration and organization. These things would t happen. A ooh. Shut up it s Here somewhere i Tell you. I la find it by myself a eventually All Hope is exhausted. Except a no please Don t say it he says it anyway. A maybe its in. The Green Box. A the Green Box. How efficient we were when we sprang for the plastic Well keep it Herc and not lose it Container. Naturally we d overlooked the fact that if we had 100 Green boxes the Only thing wed Ever find in them would be travel brochures. 6-year-old Christmas card envelopes and an old phone Bill. Neither of us wants to get a chair and reach up into the Hall closet for the Box. But someone has to do it. I take the silent accusation As my Cue to Volunteer. If the envelope Isnit there it Isnit anywhere but looking is the ultimate Challenge and a Small offering of love. Maybe just this once something will be where it should be and the Brave shall be victorious. Jaw firmly set and chair in place i step up into the Semi darkness of futility. A memory Flash of the car key incident eases my fear. A few weeks ago my dear better half and i searched nearly a whole Day for his keys. Not an Inch of House space went untouched twice before lie found them in the pocket of the pants he was wearing. I m certain that this is a Man who deserves to take the blame for the lost envelope even if his w Ife is guilty. I would t admit it even if i d smeared it with butter and eaten it for breakfast. In a sure you can guess the ending of the Green Box Saga. It was t there but we did find it later on the floorboard of the car. I d love to have said. I did t Pul it  but i did no to. He knows who did. Exactly when and Why. We both suffer from the same disease a dior Gani National Type b virus. The symptoms include hypertension delusions and chronic Scalp itch. There is no known cure As yet but there arc worse things in life. At the opposite end of the scale is the Over organizational Type a virus. I met one of these victims once. Everything from his toilet articles to his Locking file Cabinet was so completely in order it scared me. Convinced he must be some sort of psychopath. I left his House and never saw him again. I mean junk drawers and unused file boxes Are just so Normal. We re still working on a Happy medium. Maybe tomorrow ill search for my school loan papers and put them somewhere Handy until i can remember to put them into the Green Box. Marietta f Hoggard is a family member at Raf Mildenhall  in your column plus a photo of yourself to be our guest sunday Magazine the stars and stripes Apo 09211 or Postrach 11 14 37, d-6100 Darmstadt 11,  Mem a Susan Sarandon and Geena Davis Star in the Thelma amp Louise video. Page 16. Sunday is a weekly supplement of the stars and stripes editor Bucky Fox Art direction Sharon  production Lisa Williams editorial assistance Marian Hamilton Louis Pierce from the cover .4-6 Wurzburg High school caught in the act. Andy Rooney .7 fact better than Quot curl Cut Quot like fiction. Books and language.8-9 Garrison Keillor airs out a Winner. Odds amp ends .10 Erma bomb Eek hands it to talk show hosts. To plus.11 Flash Back with Jack Paar. Television listings 12-14 local Cable and satellite schedules. On the air. 15 Judd Rose Lowers the Bloom. Home entertainment .16 Thelma amp Louise Quot steers in right direction. Joe Bob Briggs .17 four films brew in Quot campfire tales. Quot this weeks films .18-19 Chuck a Meh Quot father of the Bride Quot Nore. Complete gaffs circuit listings. Classified ads .20-23 last laugh .24 Dave Barry would like not grown some pliers. Jack Paar is away from the camera. Page 11. Age 2 a sunday january 12 1992